Tough On...Lyrical Accidents Or Parodies?
There's a new way of saying MORON EARNING TAXPAYER DOLLARS and it's a state senator's bill in Indiana that could make it illegal to sing the national anthem wrong. From the Indy Star:
Sen. Vaneta Becker, R-Evansville, has introduced a bill that would set specific "performance standards" for singing and playing "The Star-Spangled Banner" at any event sponsored by public schools and state universities.The law also would cover private schools receiving state or local scholarship funds, including vouchers.
Performers would have to sign a contract agreeing to follow the guidelines. Musicians -- whether amateur or professional -- would be fined $25 if it were deemed they failed to meet the appropriate standards.
But just what is appropriate? Would Jimi Hendrix's electric version make the grade? Are Christina Aguilera's vocal gymnastics a fineable offense?
That's unclear. What is and what is not "acceptable," according to Becker's bill, would be determined by the State Department of Education, with input from the Commission for Higher Education.
No anthem left behind?
Comments
This is idiotic. What is and what is not acceptable varies from individual to individual, and changes over time.
Personally, two things I find unacceptable in a related sort of way are:
1. Auto-tune. If you can sing, you don't need help. If you can't, please restrict yourself to church, the shower, and your car.
2. Singing 'God Bless America' instead of 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game' in the 7th inning stretch. Honestly, can we quit trying to force patriotism down everyone's throats? I love my country, but singing about it (or listening to someone else sing about it) does nothing for me. Unless it's Charlie Daniels :)
Posted by: DrCos at January 6, 2012 3:43 AM
...or Ray Charles singing 'God Bless America'. That gets me every time.
Posted by: drcos at January 6, 2012 3:44 AM
Are things really so idyllic in Indiana that this is what they need to be wasting their time on?
Posted by: Elle at January 6, 2012 6:04 AM
High school bands playing... anything... generally sound awful.
Posted by: NicoleK at January 6, 2012 6:12 AM
Alas, more proof that Democrats have no monopoly on brainless twits.
Posted by: BarSinister at January 6, 2012 6:16 AM
someone needs to humiliate this bitch, but nobody will bother.
Posted by: brian at January 6, 2012 7:20 AM
In Isaac Asimov's story “No Refuge Could Save,” a German spy is caught by the Americans and made to recite all four stanzas of the "The Star-Spangled Banner." When he does so, flawlessly, they know he's a spy.
Posted by: lenona at January 6, 2012 7:22 AM
Cool Trivia:
The tune for the Star Spangled Banner was originally a drinking song called "To Anacreon in Heaven", and was used to determine if a person was sober enough to continue drinking in the tavern. Get it wrong, you were cut off from alcohol.
It's ironic how so much of our history sprung from debauchery and has been elevated by morons into the sacred.
Posted by: Eric at January 6, 2012 7:48 AM
This could be entertaining if the audience was issued thumbs-up/thumbs-down cards. As the singer went on, everyone could vote in real time, and if at any time the number of thumbs-down was greater than thumbs-up, police could storm the field and beat the singer with rubber hoses as the crowd cheered. At the end, a banner of Sen. Vaneta Becker could be unfurled, and the crowd could salute while chanting "Evansville Uber Alles."
Posted by: Kevin at January 6, 2012 8:08 AM
Can we expand the legislation to include taking children's choir directors who make kids do unwritten "scale lifts" and that irritating look-we're-singing-like-grownups wavering thing in their numbers and burning them at the stake? I'm all for smallish government but the public good is at stake here.
Posted by: Bill at January 6, 2012 8:25 AM
I actually can't object to this if and only if the performer is being paid at least $25 ("do it right or we don't pay you"). But for a purely amateur performance, no way.
(Unintended consequence: singers get so afraid of screwing up that it causes them to screw up...)
Posted by: silverpie at January 6, 2012 8:37 AM
Here it is Amy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqyQO3xhNx0&feature=related
Posted by: Eric at January 6, 2012 8:41 AM
On second thought, that's not what I really think now that I see it again. The law would only legitimately be applicable, in my view, if the singer is not only being paid, but paid by a government entity (for legal types, that's called the state-as-employer rule). If the payor is private, they could choose to require such a contract, but not mandated to.
Posted by: silverpie at January 6, 2012 8:43 AM
> It's ironic how so much of our history sprung
> from debauchery and has been elevated by
> morons into the sacred.
See also: "As American as apple pie". Apple trees are extremely heterozygotic, so their fruit is often less appealing for tables and snacking.
But dood... Across the plain and into the frontier, they were belovedly reliable for cider.
Posted by: Crid at January 6, 2012 8:47 AM
Off topic: Next time you're tempted to lie about an auto accident, read the data at the bottom of this report.
Posted by: Crid at January 6, 2012 9:30 AM
The tune for the "Star Spangled Banner" was originally a drinking song called "To Anacreon in Heaven"....
The music to "Anacreon" had been used many times for several songs, both here and in Great Britain.
It had also been used for several patriotic American songs, most notably "Adams and Liberty" by Robert Treat Paine in 1798.
It wasn't uncommon then to re-use tunes with new lyrics, or for different tunes to be used for the same song in different countries, religions, or social groupings.
This is why there is a great deal of confusion about the final song the Titanic band played in 1912. "Nearer My God to Thee" is played to at least four different tunes, depending upon the religion and/or country.
Posted by: Conan the Grammarian at January 6, 2012 10:03 AM
> It wasn't uncommon then to re-use tunes with
> new lyrics
That's just one of the things that makes this so ridiculous.
Posted by: Crid at January 6, 2012 10:22 AM
goo goo g'joob.
Posted by: Eric at January 6, 2012 10:30 AM
"It wasn't uncommon then to re-use tunes with new lyrics..."
...which is why, I suppose, the University of Texas fight song sounds just like a slower version of "I've been working on the railroad."
Posted by: ahw at January 6, 2012 11:45 AM
When attending a certain sporting event in Atlanta, it is customary to sing the last two lines of the anthem thus:
"O'er the land of the Free,
And the home of the Brave-s!"
Posted by: Cousin Dave at January 6, 2012 4:01 PM
No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session. -- Gideon J. Tucker in Final Accounting in the Estate of A. B. (1866)
And a semi-OT to this type of legislation is this:
Buying a bottle of Drano won't be the same in Illinois beginning Sunday [1/1/12].A new state law requires customers purchasing products containing sodium hydroxide, or lye, and other corrosive chemicals to show a legitimate photo ID and to write their name, address and date of birth. And the store clerk will log the time and date of purchase.
More:
Sen. Mike Jacobs, D-East Moline, said incidents of people throwing acid on victims, including two in Illinois, prompted both chambers of the legislature to vote unanimously for the bill. Gov. Pat Quinn signed the bill into law Aug. 21.
I can't find the numbers for how many acid attacks have occurred in the U.S. over the past 10 years, but I'll bet it is under 250.
Passing a law that effects hundreds, if not thousands or millions for a miniscule possible return is a waste of every one's time. This is the same thing as the sudafed legislation.
Posted by: Jim P. at January 6, 2012 8:03 PM
And this is from the party that claims to be for smaller government. Please stop voting D or R.
Posted by: Al at January 6, 2012 10:25 PM
Thought of another one... Remember the Cowsills' (The Cowsills!) take on the anthem from the theme to Hair?
"Oh say, can you see
My eyes, if you can,
Then my hair's too short!
Posted by: Cousin Dave at January 7, 2012 8:46 AM
Maybe Indiana should stop building I-69, if people from Evansville are proposing crap like this.
Posted by: mpetrie98 at January 9, 2012 1:48 AM
