Tonight, Advice Goddess Radio: Dr. John Marshall Townsend On What Men Want, What Women Want
It's Advice Goddess Radio -- bringing you the best people from science...fascinating, fun professor and therapist guests who will nerd you out of your love, dating sex, and relationship problems.
Tonight's show is back at the regular time, 7-8 pm Pacific, 10-11 pm Eastern, with a podcast avail afterward at same link:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon/2012/01/09/advice-goddess-radio-amy-alkon
Very interesting guest this week -- Syracuse anthropology professor Dr. John Marshall Townsend, author of the terrific book I've referenced in my column, What Women Want--What Men Want: Why the Sexes Still See Love and Commitment So Differently.
We'll dig into the research (like the hilarious study Townsend did showing pictures of men and women in Burger King uniforms or fancy dress. Of course, men didn't care where the girl worked -- just whether she was hot. Of course, the women went for the homely guy in the blazer and the Rolex over the hot guy in the BK uniform). And we'll see what the research -- including Townsend's latest study on casual sex -- says about how we should approach love, dating, sex and relationships.
(Call-in number during the show: 347-326-9761 -- NYC area code. Please call in with comments or to ask advice. Always more interesting with listener participation!)
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Listen to podcasts of my last two shows, with the fantastic Dr. Helen on men's rights here:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon/2012/01/01/advice-goddess-radio-amy-alkon
And with happiness researcher Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of the terrific book, The How of Happiness, here:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon/2011/12/26/advice-goddess-radio-amy-alkon
And listen to all the shows or download podcasts here:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon
You can leave questions in the comments section below for Dr. Townsend and me to discuss on the show. They should just be related to men and women and love, dating, sex, and relationships. But, please do consider calling in. Don't be meek! We won't bite! (Much.)
One of my favorite exchanges from Frasier:
Daphne: It's not like men have never used sex to get what they want.
Frasier: How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? Sex is what we want!
We'll dig into the research (like the hilarious study Townsend did showing pictures of men and women in Burger King uniforms or fancy dress. Of course, men didn't care where the girl worked -- just whether she was hot. Of course, the women went for the homely guy in the blazer and the Rolex over the hot guy in the BK uniform). And we'll see what the research -- including Townsend's latest study on casual sex -- says about how we should approach love, dating, sex and relationships.
Amy, I have a few advance questions this week. If you have time to discuss any of them with Dr. Townsend, great. If not, that's fine.
1. Regarding the above situation. From other reading I've done, my understanding is that while women (in general) will definitely go for "the homely guy in the blazer and the Rolex over the hot guy in the BK uniform", that's if they're looking/hoping for a long-term relationship. It's different if they're just looking for sex. In that case, a woman would be more likely to pick the hot guy in the BK uniform. Could you ask Dr. Townsend about that? Also, in that "just-sex" scenario, even if most women would go for the hot guy, I wonder if quite a few women would still prefer Mr. Rolex because they simply can't get turned on by a low-status guy, no matter how physically hot he is.
including Townsend's latest study on casual sex
2. On another blog I'm on, we had a discussion this year about women and casual sex. Most of the men (including me), and some of the women, felt that women (in general) simply weren't as interested in casual sex as men, that women tend to require an emotional connection and men don't (I've always preferred having an emotional connection with women I've slept with, but it's not something I've required.) However, most of the women were adamant that women like and want casual sex just as much as men but don't seek it out for pragmatic reasons (e.g. they face a greater safety risk having sex with a stranger; they are the ones that have the pregnancy risk; in casual sex, a man is far less likely to be concerned about their pleasure.) Could you ask Dr. Townsend his opinion about that?
3. As a follow-on to our discussion in your "Don't Trivialize Me Because I'm Beautiful" thread...if we take the top ten preferences/considerations women have for men and men have for women, it seems we might both agree that status & earning power would be #1 on women's list for men and looks would be #1 on men's list for women (or that, if they aren't at #1, they would at least be at the same level of importance.) I'm curious where on the list for women Dr. Townsend would place a man's looks and where on the list for men, he would place a woman's status & earning power. (Or, if he can't place them at a specific level, where would he place them relative to each other?)
Thank you.
Jim at January 8, 2012 1:45 PM
I was on a radio show, too, recently. A couple of guys have a radio show dedicated to denouncing birtherism, and since I'm writing about it, they invited me on. I was only supposed to be on for 1/2 hour to 45 minutes, but because one of the co-hosts (Dr. Ken) was late, RC (the host, Reality Check) kept me on the whole time.
I listened to it and I talked so fast, it was a wonder anyone could understand me. They suggested I should do a television appearance after the show was over, but I refused, explaining that due to the indecency statutes of the 1994 Federal Telecommunications Act, the image of my obscenely ugly face could not be permitted on any visual media.
They kept pushing me into it, saying I would reach more people, despite my wailing protest, "But people will diiiiie!"
(And I told Dr. Ken if he was late the next time I was on their show, I would give him the history of pain with the back of my hand. Which he thought was hilarious.)
Patrick at January 8, 2012 1:46 PM
Another good show.
You could tell Dr. Marshall was into his topic.
I'd bet if he did a seminar it would be a fun one.
Jim P. at January 8, 2012 8:15 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2012/01/08/tonight_advice_2.html#comment-2899107">comment from Jim P.Thanks - I find his work fascinating!
Amy Alkon at January 8, 2012 9:36 PM
"Also, in that "just-sex" scenario, even if most women would go for the hot guy, I wonder if quite a few women would still prefer Mr. Rolex because they simply can't get turned on by a low-status guy, no matter how physically hot he is.'"
I can answer that for me. I nearly got in an accident in front of my neighborhood not long ago, because I was checking out the INSANELY hot guy driving the bulldozer in the road work. I went weak-he was that hot. I've never gotten weak from a Rolex. But I tend to like men who work with their hands. Office dudes remind me too much of my dad. DH makes a really good living using his brain to guide his hands. That works for me.
momof4 at January 9, 2012 5:23 PM
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