Lone Ranger and Tonto are walking through the desert one day, when Lone Ranger stopped to take a piss.

He ran over to the bushes to pee and a snake came and bit the head of his dick.

Tonto asked what he can do to help.

Ranger says, "Go back to town and get the doctor."
Tonto talked to the doc and said, "Lone Ranger got bit by a snake, what should I do?"

Doc said, "Suck the poison out of the wound."

Tonto ran back to Lone Ranger to help him.
Lone Ranger asked, "What did the doctor say?"
Tonto looked at Ranger and then down at the snake bite.

Tonto said, "He said, you are going to die!"

Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.

One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"

"Yeah," says the other cowboy.

"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."

Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."

"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"

The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."

A man walked in to a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively "You've got great hair!" The man looked around but couldn't see where the voice was coming from, so he went back to his beer.

A minute later, he heard the same soft voice say "You're a handsome man!" The man looked around, but still couldn't see where the voice was coming from.

When he went back to his beer, the voice said again "What a stud you are!" The man was so baffled by this that he asked the bartender what was going on.

The bartender said "Oh, it's the nuts--they're complimentary."

Two guys walked into a bar.

You would think at least one of them would have ducked.

Didn't mean to make you cry...

Pygmy Po's.

Non joke (NJ hereafter) ——

When people start responding in kind to misconduct like this by celebrities, it will be very difficult to feel sorry for them. I bet Miss Barr lives in an accessible urban setting. I bet it's a real nice place, and I bet she'd be upset if everyone on the internet was told its location. And I bet there are people who think such a person has no business inserting herself into the gears of justice for a state on the other side of the continent.

Bad news, Amerz.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview. They fill out their forms and wait to be called in. The brunette goes first. After discussing her qualifications, the interviewer decides to ask her last question:

"How many Ds are there in 'Indiana Jones'?"

The brunette thinks for a couple of seconds (concerned that it might be a trick question) and responds, "One."

The interviewer thanks her and sends her on her way, with a promise that he'll get back to her after he's had a chance to interview the remaining applicants.

The redhead is next. The process goes about the same, and at the end: "How many Ds are there in 'Indiana Jones'?"

The redhead immediately says, "One."

As before, the interviewer concludes the interview and tells her he'll call after the interview process is finished.

The blonde comes into the room last. She goes through the questions, and finally the interviewer asks: "How many Ds are there in 'Indiana Jones'?"

The blonde gets a very serious look on her face and starts counting her fingers, muttering: "2, 4, 6... Hmmm... Wait... 2, 4, 6... Can I borrow your calculator please?"

After going through 15 minutes of intense calculating, she finally comes up with the answer: "Thirty two!"

The interviewer is stunned and asks her: "Ok, now tell me, how the hell did you arrive at this answer?"

The blonde grins from ear to ear, and replies...

http://www.plainjanegames.com/funstuff/files/indiana.wav

Sorry. Go here:

http://www.plainjanegames.com/funstuff/bestblondejoke.htm

Any way you want it.

Voltage/

George Zimmerman is hiding at Roseanne Barr's house.

Guy stays in touch with his kid during a business trip.

Bad news, Amerz

Gotta go with the SCOTUS left on this one.

Government agencies, through coercive powers, can force us to give up a great deal of private information and have considerable power to compromise our dignity at will.

They can force third parties to collect this information for them. Try buying pseudoephedrine-HCl from a pharmacy without an ID.

Because government agencies can obtain this private information or compromise our dignity through means which we have little or no means to counter, government agencies have a substantially greater duty to protect that information.

We can't protect our private information by denying it to them.

I can choose not to do business with Wal-Mart or to pay cash when I do rather than give up any personal information. There's nothing Wal-Mart can do about it.

The DMV, however, can deny me a driver's license and the ability to legally operate a motor vehicle on public roads. The IRS can press criminal charges. The TSA can deny me permission to board the plane.

The level of accountability on the part of government agencies should be higher.

If SCOTUS was following the letter of the Privacy Act of 1974 on "actual" damages, then the Act needs to be revised.

> Try buying pseudoephedrine-HCl from a pharmacy
> without an ID.

It can be done!

Well, it can be had, I mean...

This happened.

No, really... It did.

OMG - this is the first, and last, time I have used those initials. Where the hell is Dan's caretaker. I knew he was nuts, but this is beyond belief. By the way, doesn't she look like Flucke's sister?

It can be done!

Yeah, it can, but then I have to buy meth from a toothless hillbilly that looks an awful lot like my second cousin, Jim Bob. And I can't stand my second cousin, Jim Bob.