Joke of the day-- The books "failed", as if their were ever any "goals" to "examine".

There. Wuddever. YOU trying being funny before dawn.

It is funny, Crid. Sad, though, that this may be remembered by many as a noble crusade.

Depends on if the Apocalypse happens. A good war, earthquake or other strong nightmare could make people forget their participation in Occupy, in the same way that the Depression reminded folks that they had better things to worry about than the drinking habits of others.

Vanity longread.

Jack an atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?," as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, and no life after death, when you don't know shit?"
And then she went back to reading her book.

And I mean no disrespect to the atheists here, just thought this was pretty funny.

Good one Flynne- will use that one for years!

What's a Midianite?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHLJfxfXHBg

> What's a Midianite?

They're post-modern media obsessives.

Sure, they're repellant and all, but they're not worth a holocaust.

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stop.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"

So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous! Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

A biker rolls up the bank, parks his hawg in the flower bed, kicks open the door and cuts to the front of the line.
"Listen up, honey, I wanna open a fruggin checking account," he says.
"SIR! You'll have to wait your turn," the teller lady tells him.
"Hey, i said i fruggin well wanna open gawdamm checking account!'
Just then the President of the bank appeared with a couple of security gaurds, "Is there a problem here?"
"Yeah, there's a frawking problem, dude. I just won forty million dollars in the state lottery and i wanna open a mudder frogging checking account!'
"I see," said the Banker, "and this dumb bitch is giving you a hard time?"

Exactly.

These three nuns are driving down the road, long twisty dark road, mind you, and all of sudden the one driving misses the turn, the car crashes into a ditch; the nuns die and go to heaven. St. Peter greets them at the Pearly Gates and says "Ladies, welcome! Welcome home! We'd like to thank you for your tireless efforts on Earth and send you on to your reward, but first, I must ask you each a question, so that you may enter the Gates, and have eternal life. Are you ready?"

So the nuns look at each other, and agree. St. Pete turns to the first one and says "Okay, your question is 'Who was the first man?'" And the nun smiles and says "Oh that's easy, that was Adam!" And the lights flash and the bells rang, and the gates open and in she goes!

And St. Peter says to the second nun, "Your question is 'Who was the first woman?'" Again, the nun smiles and says, "Oh, that one's easy, too, it was Eve!" And the lights flash and the bells ring and the gates open and in she goes!

Now, St. Peter turns to the third nun and says, "Your question is 'What were Eve's first words to Adam?'".

Well the nun stands there, and she thinks and thinks and thinks, and finally she looks up at St. Peter and says, "Ooooo, that's a hard one..."

And the lights flash and the bells ring...

Flynne - "you don't know shit"

I first heard that one years ago when Billary was in the White House and Hillary was trying to make over Healthcare. It was funny then about Hillary not knowing shit, and along with all the variations through the years about different folks it is still funny!

A little old lady walked into the main branch of the Chase Manhattan Bank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man at the window that she wished to take the 3 million dollars that she had in the bag and open an account with the bank. But first, she said that she wished to meet the president of the bank due to the rather large amount of money involved. After looking into the bag and seeing bundles of $1,000.00 dollar bills which could have amounted to $3 million dollars, he called the president's office and saw to it that the old lady met with him.

The lady was escorted up stairs and ushered into the president's office. Introductions were made and she stated that she liked to know the people that she did business with on a more personal level. The president then asked her how she came into such a large amount of money "was it inheritance?" he asked.

"No," she replied. He was quiet for a minute trying to think where she could have come into $3 million.

"I bet" she stated.

"You bet!" repeated the president. "As in horses?"

"No," she replied, "I bet on people."

Seeing his confusion, she explained that she just bets different things with people. All of the sudden she said "I'll bet you $25,000.00 that by 10:00 am tomorrow your balls will be square". The bank president figured that she must be off of her rocker and decided to take her up on the bet. He didn't see how he could loose. For the rest of the day he was very careful. He decided to stay home that evening and take no chances - there was $25,000.00 at stake.

When he got up in the morning and took his shower, he checked to make sure that everything was OK. There was no difference, he looked the same as he always had. He went to work and waited for the little old lady to come in at 10:00, humming as he went. He knew that this would be a good day, how often do you get handed $25,000.00 for doing nothing?

At 10:00 am sharp, the little old lady was escorted into his office. With her was a younger man. When the president inquired as to the purpose for being there, she informed him that he was her lawyer and that she always took him along when there was a large amount of money involved.

"Well", she asked, "what about our bet?"

"I don't know how to tell you this," he replied, "but I'm the same
as I always have been, only $25,000.00 richer!" The lady seemed to accept this, but requested that she be able to see for herself. The president thought that this was reasonable and dropped his trousers. She instructed him to bend over then she grabbed hold of him. Sure enough everything was fine. The president then looked up and saw her lawyer banging his head against the wall.

"What's wrong with him?" the president asked.

"Oh him," she replied, "I bet him $100,000.00 that by 10:00 this morning that I would have the president of Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls."