Kelly is very deeply loved.

You can understand why.

If you want to find out if you are really loved, try locking both your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car for an hour. Then come back and open the trunk. Notice which one is glad to see you.

Who Really Controls America

You meant this. And it's time to say it out loud: George Carlin was pathetic. Arrogant, not daring. Small-minded, not insightful. Liberals who get to be that old but still have problems with the IRS are incapable of irony... They certainly aren't funny.

George Carlin was great. He got a little lazy and needlessly profane in his later years, but as a social commenter he was generally right on the money. His dialogue was unique and clever, and he had the the balls to say whatever he gave thought to.

Cool bit 'o trivia: Carlin was present at Lenny Bruce's arrest for obscenity. As the police began attempting to detain members of the audience for questioning, they asked Carlin for his identification. Telling the police he did not believe in government-issued IDs, he was arrested and taken to jail with Bruce in the same vehicle.

Fooey "balls". What was the worst thing that was ever going to happen to him for his courage? Taken to jail and had to take a bus home? There's a reason a man like that is never able to articulate a vision of a world better than the one he lives in.

Could this be a rude person?

It was August on the runway apron, and soldiers were greeting their loved ones after a long deployment. Smith grabbed his wife, and a scene ensued - between kisses, he'd say, "F. F.", and she'd reply, "E. F.". After a minute, when things calmed down and everybody was walking to the parking lot, his best buddy Bert said, "Hey, what's with the code? What were you saying there?"

Smith replied, "Oh. She wants to eat first."

Q: What's the toughest thing about eating vegetables?

A: Getting them back in their wheelchairs.