John and Bill were hiking in the woods when John is bitten on the ass by a rattlesnake.
"I'll go into town for a doctor," Bill says.
He runs 10 miles to a small town and finds the town's only doctor, who is busy delivering a baby.
"I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little 'x' where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground."
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
John and Bill were hiking in the woods when John is bitten on the ass by a rattlesnake.
"I'll go into town for a doctor," Bill says.
He runs 10 miles to a small town and finds the town's only doctor, who is busy delivering a baby.
"I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little 'x' where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground."
Bill runs back to his friend, who is in agony.
"What did the doctor say?" John asks.
"He says you're gonna die."
Jim P. at April 15, 2012 6:19 AM
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
Jim P. at April 15, 2012 6:50 AM
There are four kinds of sex :
HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.
BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.
HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"
COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.
Jim P. at April 15, 2012 6:52 AM
1st black President
Jim P. at April 15, 2012 7:02 AM
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