A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost.
On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted men's barracks. He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, "What's the camel for?"
The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, we have the camel."
The Captain said, "Well, if it's good for morale, then I guess it's all right with me."
After he had been at the fort for about 6 months, the Captain could not stand it anymore, so he told his Sergeant, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!"
The Sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the Captain's quarters. The Captain got a foot stool and proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel.
As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sergeant, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"
The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town."
When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian Reservation in Arizona.
One day, a Navajo Elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question which his son translated. " What are these guys in the big suits doing? "
A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the
moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.
Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA
folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son to translate it. He refused.
So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation where the rest of
the tribe listened and laughed but refused to translate the elder's
message to the moon.
Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government translator. He reported that the moon message said, " Watch out for these fuckers: they have come to steal your land."
gmiller
at April 16, 2012 6:32 AM
Not long before the Apollo training GMiller told us about, a politician came through the reservation to make a speech. As he reached the climax of his first point, the politician heard the assembled tribe yell "Hofa! Hofa!" as they threw their fists in the air.
"I'm hitting on all cylinders here," the politician thought, "I'm really going to pour it on!"
And he did. Like an old-time preacher, the politician laid into it, each climax punctuated by the tribe's upraised fists and cries of "Hofa! Hofa!"
Finally he finished. As he was leaving the stage, he said to the tribal chief, "How'd I do?"
"Knocked 'em dead, Senator," the chief said. "Now be careful where you walk. You don't want to step in any hofa!"
Old RPM Daddy
at April 16, 2012 8:17 AM
Via Balko, champion journalist of his proud young generation.
Too ashamed
at April 16, 2012 12:20 PM
Three boys received their grades from their female sex education instructor. One got a D+, the second a D- and the third an F. "One day we should get her for this," said the first boy. "I agree. We'll grab her..." said the second. "Yeah," said the third. "And then we'll kick her in the nuts!"
Steve Daniels
at April 16, 2012 3:12 PM
A cave-in in an Irish coal mine killed Paddy Murphy. The crew elected their smoothest talking and most sensitive member Seamus to notify his wife. Seamus went to Paddy's house and knocking on the door shouted "is the widow Murphy home?" Mrs Murphy came to the door and said "I'm Mrs Murphy, but I'm not a widow." Seamus replied "wanna fuckin bet"
A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost.
On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted men's barracks. He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, "What's the camel for?"
The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, we have the camel."
The Captain said, "Well, if it's good for morale, then I guess it's all right with me."
After he had been at the fort for about 6 months, the Captain could not stand it anymore, so he told his Sergeant, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!"
The Sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the Captain's quarters. The Captain got a foot stool and proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel.
As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sergeant, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"
The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town."
Jim P. at April 16, 2012 4:38 AM
When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian Reservation in Arizona.
One day, a Navajo Elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question which his son translated. " What are these guys in the big suits doing? "
A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the
moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.
Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA
folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son to translate it. He refused.
So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation where the rest of
the tribe listened and laughed but refused to translate the elder's
message to the moon.
Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government translator. He reported that the moon message said, " Watch out for these fuckers: they have come to steal your land."
gmiller at April 16, 2012 6:32 AM
Not long before the Apollo training GMiller told us about, a politician came through the reservation to make a speech. As he reached the climax of his first point, the politician heard the assembled tribe yell "Hofa! Hofa!" as they threw their fists in the air.
"I'm hitting on all cylinders here," the politician thought, "I'm really going to pour it on!"
And he did. Like an old-time preacher, the politician laid into it, each climax punctuated by the tribe's upraised fists and cries of "Hofa! Hofa!"
Finally he finished. As he was leaving the stage, he said to the tribal chief, "How'd I do?"
"Knocked 'em dead, Senator," the chief said. "Now be careful where you walk. You don't want to step in any hofa!"
Old RPM Daddy at April 16, 2012 8:17 AM
Via Balko, champion journalist of his proud young generation.
Too ashamed at April 16, 2012 12:20 PM
Three boys received their grades from their female sex education instructor. One got a D+, the second a D- and the third an F. "One day we should get her for this," said the first boy. "I agree. We'll grab her..." said the second. "Yeah," said the third. "And then we'll kick her in the nuts!"
Steve Daniels at April 16, 2012 3:12 PM
A cave-in in an Irish coal mine killed Paddy Murphy. The crew elected their smoothest talking and most sensitive member Seamus to notify his wife. Seamus went to Paddy's house and knocking on the door shouted "is the widow Murphy home?" Mrs Murphy came to the door and said "I'm Mrs Murphy, but I'm not a widow." Seamus replied "wanna fuckin bet"
gmiller at April 17, 2012 7:16 AM
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