One Thirty-Second Cherokee Nation
Sizzling writing by Mark Stein on Elizabeth Warren's claim to be 1/32 Cherokee. From the OC Register:
Like Barack's white girlfriend, she couldn't be black. She would if she could, but she couldn't. But she could be a composite - a white woman and an Indian woman, all mixed up in one! Not Indian in the sense of Ashton Kutcher putting on brownface makeup and a fake-Indian accent in his amusing new commercial for the hip lo-fat snack Popchips. But Indian in the sense of checking the "Are you Native American?" box on the Association of American Law Schools form, which Elizabeth Warren did for much of her adult life. According to her, she's part Cherokee and part Delaware. Not in the Joe Biden sense, I hasten to add, but Delaware in the sense of the Indian tribe named in honor of the home state of Big F--kin' Chief Dances With Plugs.How does she know she's a Cherokee maiden? Well, she cites her grandfather's "high cheekbones," and says the Indian stuff is part of her family "lore." Which was evidently good enough for Harvard Lore School when they were looking to rack up a few affirmative-action credits. The former Obama Special Advisor to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau and former Chairperson of the Congressional Oversight Panel now says that "I listed myself in the directory in the hopes that it might mean that I would be invited to a luncheon, a group, something that might happen with people who are like I am," and certainly not for personal career advancement or anything like that. Like everyone else, she was shocked, shocked to discover that, as The Boston Herald reported, "Harvard Law School officials listed Warren as Native American in the '90s, when the school was under fierce fire for their faculty's lack of diversity."
So did the University of Texas, and the University of Pennsylvania. With the impertinent jackanapes of the press querying the bona fides of Harvard Lore School's first Native American female professor, the Warren campaign got to work and eventually turned up a great-great-great-grandmother designated as Cherokee in the online transcription of a marriage application of 1894.
Hallelujah! In the old racist America, we had quadroons and octoroons. But in the new post-racial America, we have - hang on, let me get out my calculator - duoettrigintaroons! Martin Luther King dreamed of a day when men would be judged not on the color of their skin but on the content of their great-great-great-grandmother's wedding license application. And now it's here! You can read all about it in Elizabeth Warren's memoir of her struggles to come to terms with her racial identity, Dreams From My Great-Great-Great-Grandmother.
Alas, the actual original marriage license does not list Great-Great-Great-Gran'ma as Cherokee, but let's cut Elizabeth Fauxcahontas Crockagawea Warren some slack here. She couldn't be black. She would if she could, but she couldn't. But she could be 1/32nd Cherokee, and maybe get invited to a luncheon with others of her kind - "people who are like I am," 31/32nds white - and they can all sit around celebrating their diversity together. She is a testament to America's melting pot, composite pot, composting pot, whatever.
Via Walter Olson, Ethel Merman: "I'm an Indian Too"
Ah, gotta love Ms. Warren, aka Dances with Occupiers.
I R A Darth Aggie at May 7, 2012 7:19 AM
When this story broke I turned to my husband and said, "Aren't you 1/32 Cherokee, too?" He is. My father-in-law is 1/16 Cherokee. No, I have never noticed my husband's cheekbones. I've never thought of him as anything other than white, either. He doesn't see the need to grasp at some infinitesimal fraction of minority to make him feel like somebody.
Sosij at May 7, 2012 4:40 PM
I have to note that 'being on the tribal roll' doesn't necessarily mean much: my mothers' mother was full-blood Cherokee, but her father had a long-running feud with someone on the tribal council; guess who wasn't listed on the roll? Dad's family has Cherokee on both sides, but they're not on the roll.
And I've met people- if anything- whiter than I am, but some relative is on the roll, so...
Firehand at May 7, 2012 5:04 PM
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