AWESOME. Simply AWESOME. If more parents did things like this to/for their kids, we'd have WAY less spoiled, problematic brats. I commend this woman and will be taking a page from her book if I ever need to. Even though my girls are pretty good on social media and don't post anything stupid, this is an excellent back-up plan for any dumbfuckery they might come up with.

I like this. And I can see better now why I had problems with that recent viral video of the dad shooting his daughter's laptop, though it would seem a similar example of cyber-shaming as discipline. But here, unlike in that case, the public punishment is delivered concisely and only involves the kid. No long, melodramatic, attention-grabbing theatrics by the parent are necessary.

Parental punishments are best delivered coolly, with as little emotional or violent language / behavior as possible. Waving around a gun, calling your child spoiled, stupid and disappointing in front of infinite web viewers just makes you look out of control yourself. The message in this photo is far more concise, yet also far more effective than that video. It's severe on the kid without unnecessary insult. I have great respect for this mom's judgement.

Why can't the wimpy parents who are "at wit's end" realize, as my near-favorite family therapist has written, that "the only punishment that fits the crime is the one that stops the bad behavior from RECURRING"? (Emphasis mine.)

There's just no POINT in making your family life miserable by doling out the same wimpy punishments and yelling at the kids, day after day, only to have to put up with the same bad behaviors, over and over. Many have also said that that type of wimpy parenting contributes greatly to the possibility of divorce. If a punishment seems draconian to the neighbors and they dare to confront you on it, point out to them that you only had to do it once and the problem never came back. (Assuming, of course, that we're not talking about, say, using a belt. All that's needed is a parental willingness to be a little too strict rather than a little too lenient.)

And with that in mind, I second what YTS said.

I heard my cousin had her iPhone set to alert her of her kids' postings. I had already noticed right away that anything the kids posted that she didn't understand she would comment, asking what it meant. It still took her daughter a couple of years to realize her mother was Facebook stalking her.

Another kid, elsewhere, hated being grounded for misbehavior and actually thought he/she should have the right to choose to be spanked instead and "get it over with." (The parents actually were discussing it!)

The whole POINT of punishment to make sure that it DOESN'T get easily forgotten in a hurry!

"Kid, if you don't like it, we parents are doing it right. Next time, stop and think before you break the rules!"

I don't know. I think this extended hiatus from Facebook merely for holding a bottle of liquor is a bit excessive.

Regarding the dad who shot his daughter's laptop, his form of punishment was not just histrionic; he closed off all communication with his daughter with such a method.

Aw how wicked. The post goes viral, it's her 15 minutes of fame. And she can't even participate.

ROCK ON, Mom!

My kids aren't on facebook at all, Patrick, is THAT excessive? Internet isn't a right, it's a priviledge. Taking away priviledges is the best way to get a point across to teens.

If you teens don't hate you when you punish them, you aren't doing it right.

Patrick, I'm guessing you don't have kids, because the daughter wasn't merely holding a bottle of liquor - she was emulating, and evidently aspiring to join, the "party" photos she sees in the crassest pop culture, often posted by kids who are clearly too immature to have good judgment about the use of social media.

I think this mom was brilliant. The root meaning of "discipline" has to do with teaching, not punishing. The key to effective discipline is to find your child's "currency" - whatever will get their attention and deter future inappropriate behavior - both of which this mother demonstrated in spades. (The currency changes and shifts, so you have to be creative. When my daughter was in 5th grade, and didn't mind losing TV, computer, etc., I threatened to sing show tunes in front of her friends when I picked her up at school - worked like a charm.)

Way to go Mom!!! I love this lady. Mof4 gets it...if they don't hate the punishment, you aren't doing it right.

My kid isn't on Facebook either and nor will she be for a long while yet so I guess I am excessive too. I have heard too many horror stories about what happens out there to expose my child to it. It seems to me, that Facebook is just a way for the crap from school to follow you home and disturb whatever peace you get from being home. I have told my dd that home is a safe space where the outside world doesn't have the right to intrude. It is hard to be a kid these days and they need mental breaks from it and time just to be themselves.

My teenage nieces aren't allowed on FB at all. They mentioned over Easter that SOMETIMES they're glad they aren't on it because "all it does is cause drama at school."

Anyway, the punishment is totally appropriate. Kids don't need to be on the internet at all unless it's for homework. Stupid posts (like a teenager holding a bottle of liquor) could get her kicked out of extracurriular stuff, or in trouble for violating some kind of conduct code at school, or a visit from CPS because some busybody tattletale sees it.

Normally I'm not an advocate of public humiliation but I don't think this is humiliating in the same way as the parent who made the kid stand on the street corner.

I think this is a good lesson for this kid. By no means is it going to prevent her from going through her normal teenage stuff like drinking underage or smoking. But she is going to think twice when posting the stupid teenage stuff. This mom made a great call.

She demonstrated something to her daughter in a way that she was able to relate to. Its definitely a lesson that will stick and I love it because it isn't just a lesson but a great teaching moment.

This goes in the file of Truly Brilliant Parenting Tactics. Not only did this Mom get her daughter's attention, which is hard enough at that age, but she showed her that *ANYTHING* on the internet is fair game and will haunt you forever. Want to post those drunken frat party pics? Your potential boss with that big law firm will probably see them and may decide not to interview you. Film yourself doing a "Paris Hilton" with your boyfriend that he promises will never-ever be shown to anyone else on the entire planet? Guess what, you are now a child-porn statistic.

Teenager = Lack of Impulse Control. We expect our teens to screw up. That's why they have us. We use their mistakes to teach them what they did wrong, how to fix it, and how not to do it again. Parenting is a 24/7 job, and usually it involves horrifying adrenaline rushes punctuated by caffiene crashes and long, boring weeks of grounding.(If she's grounded, so am I, because I have to guard the door).

I love my kids more than my own life, I wouldn't trade one minute of the last 28 years for anything. But the sweetest words I ever heard were from my eldest, when she said to me "Mom, I'm really sorry I was a teenager. I'm surprised you didn't eat me like my rabbit ate her babies."
heh. If she only knew how close we got.

Whats wrong with humiliation? What makes it effective is the very thing that makes it suck. People really really don't like being humiliated or shamed.

Once they feel it, they will likely act in such a way as to avoid its recurrance. This is good.

Just curious, but not enough to follow the link: Was there a father in the home?

From the excerpt above - mom says the girl took the vodka from "my husband's bar."

Regarding the dad who shot his daughter's laptop, his form of punishment was not just histrionic; he closed off all communication with his daughter with such a method. -- Patrick at May 15, 2012 9:36 AM

There are several differences between this case and the father shooting the laptop:

• The daughter purposefully de-friended Mom, Dad, and any parental units before posting her diatribe. (That instantly said she knew she was in the wrong.)


• She forgot to de-friend the family dogs account.


• Her father had spent the prior day spending money and cleaning up her computer.


• Daughter exaggerated her grievances.


• A later Today Show interview, she admitted she was in the wrong.


• Same interview, Dad had saved her hard drive, but she had to buy her own new laptop.

The point being that each punishment was appropriate to the "crime".

> From the excerpt above - mom says the girl
> took the vodka from "my husband's bar."

That is exactly what I wanted to know, precisely what I was getting at.

Yooda, Sam... Yoodaman.

Dunno about this one...just because the punishment can go viral. If I do something wrong at work, and am disciplined for it, not even my co workers should know, much less the world.

I'm wondering if the daughter keeps escalating her negative behavior in the face of mom's craziness.

> just because the punishment can go viral

Not even viral, just EXTERNAL. Single mothers often demand that forces from outside the home take part in disciplining their children. Cops, Facebook, whatever.

Somehow, the woman's 'husband' (rather than the child's father) wasn't able to keep the lid on.

Dunno about this one...just because the punishment can go viral. If I do something wrong at work, and am disciplined for it, not even my co workers should know, much less the world.
That was part of the punishment, to teach the girl how things work on the internet. see my post above. This isn't about you helping her discipline her child, it's about her using the media to show little-miss-I'm-so-cool that she doesn't know everything she thinks she does, and that maybe, just maybe, when mom was telling her not to do stupid stuff on social media, she knew what she was talking about.

This woman wins the 2012 Most Creative Punishment Award.

Freaking brilliant.