The "cord" becomes a rope, and the rope becomes...a noose.

My kids are 7 and 10. One of my common refrains around the house is that after high school they will be going off to college or the military. If they want to stay at home they will need to pay me rent(market value rent)and buy their own groceries.

I couldn't wait to get out of the house. I went USAF and don't regret it to this day.

If my mother had ever wanted to go to an interview with me, I would have just crawled under a table and died.

Did I recently help my child with her college admission essay?

I'd have to say, "Yes" to that survey question. But, I didn't write any of it for her. We sat down to a skype session (she lives in a different state) to fill in the application. While I watched her type on a shared screen, I made suggestions like, "What they're looking for here is ...", and "Punch up your volunteer experience ...".

I was very impressed with her writing skills and didn't need to harp on her about grammar or anything. Although I would've pointed out any issues and would've had no problem with that.

My point is that, "helping" with these things isn't necessarily doing it for them. What kind of parent wouldn't help with these important things? It's scary going out into the world. Help 'em out when you can. Obviously, sitting in on a job interview is ridiculous and would work against them. But, prepping them for it is just giving good advice to someone you love. They have no idea what employers and colleges are looking for. You have to tell them. That's what a parent does.

I know that the libertarian ideal is to put your kid out in the woods and see if she makes it past the wolves somehow. I guess I must be a liberal parent.

Anyway, she got her acceptance letter the other week and I couldn't be happier. Mostly because the school of her choosing is right here where I am living! No more Skype sessions for us. She's managed to get out of a shit-hole Texas town and will be right here with me! I'm thrilled! I'll be able to take my little girl out for lunch or an ice cream any damn time we want! I'm shouting from the roof tops! WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!

U of A! U of A! U of A!

So yeah, I helped her. Shoot me.

Right, the way the Baby Boomers did it is The Right Way.

Help writing resumes? Yeah, absolutely. After I wrote mine I sent it to my mother and my sister to get their opinions. They've both done hiring. And no, my parents never wrote a book report for me.

"grads expect to get good health benefits and job security"
Which is what they were "promised" by their parents, guidance counselors, teachers, and etc. for going to college. Additionally, for many college grads that was the what they saw their parents model: dedicate your loyalty to a job for ten to twenty years and they'll take care of you.

Personal calls, checking social media, and etc?
If Joe two cubicles down gets to step out for a smoke break every hour and a half why can't I have a twitter break? In a world where many, many workers are expected to be answering emails via smartphone long after working hours, letting employees check sports scores doesn't sound like an outrageous amount of flexibility.

"nearly a third of parents are helping their kids find work, and nearly one in ten are taking them to job interviews"
I want to know what the actual questions were. Are the parents using their network of contacts on behalf of their kid or are they cruising the help wanted section for them? Does this only pertain to college grads? Does taking them to the job interview mean just giving them a lift or walking them to the interviewers door.

The landscape for job hunting for post Gen-Xers is very different than it was for Boomers. If Jane Wells is really concerned about the hire-ability of recent college grads then she ought to be encouraging the largest generation of Americans to ever hit the work force that they should start retiring already. Of course, that would ruing the narrative of how "kids these days" are all sorts of fucked up and will cause the world to go to hell. The same narrative that has been going on since the first Australopithecus saw his son making mammoth hunting spears "the wrong way."

I remember my mom calling some judge's office on some circuit in Ok, where we lived then. She was just getting general info on internships and the process. The secretary got to asking questions, heard his educational resume, and put mom through to the judge. Judge said they don't hire college kids, but loved bro's background so much he wanted to talk to him. Bro got the clerkship, way ahead of his time, because mom called. I don't think that was out of line, she didn't call to ask for him a job.

I couldn't wait to get out, either. At least one of my DD's is hte same way already at 8.

"One of my common refrains around the house is that after high school they will be going off to college or the military."

Same here! If they have a crisis they do and will know they can always come home for a while-job loss etc happens. But they know things are expected of them, at 18.

I know that the libertarian ideal is to put your kid out in the woods and see if she makes it past the wolves somehow.

You have an odd notion of what it is to be a libertarian. I believe you're confusing them with the Spartans. It happens...

I also couldn't wait to leave home. I did so the summer after graduating high school and have been at my parents houses (they moved about fifteen years ago) a total of six weeks since then; half of those the first year after high school.

I told my kids from the time they were little that I expected them to be live on their own at eighteen unless they were attending college full time and be on their own after they gradated (with a bachelors.) I've also paid their first semester of tuition, but they have to pay the rest (they've all attended a local state university which charges $2300 a semester tuition--very workable on minimum wage, grants and scholarships.)

My oldest did it--by seventeen, she spent so little time at home, she essentially was on her own. Unfortunately, my oldest son didn't and my now ex-wife refused to let me kick him out. Ironically, I ended up leaving, he stayed and mooched. My ex is finally kicking him out of her place at the end of this month. Or so she says; I'll believe it when it happens.

PS. I found out my senior year of high school that New York had a program where you could graduate a year early. I was pissed that nobody told me about it sooner. I would have done it in a heart beat.

BTW, Obamacare didn't help. Making it pretty much mandatory to keep your kids on your insurance until they are 26, not only keeps that umbilical cord there, but employers of the young are going to take advantage and simply stop offering insurance.

Then you have all the laws actively preventing a young person from being an adult until 18 and even 21. Emancipation is impossible in many (most?) states and difficult in many that have it.

The Europeans have it right; end mandatory high school at 16 and make that the age where a teen first gets their first dose of legal rights, with 18 being the second (dropping this age 21 crap all together.)

"Once they are offered jobs, three out of four recent grads expect to get good health benefits and job security. Good luck with that, kids!"
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Good Luck is right! The real unemployment rate (not the one the fedgov is lying about (U-3)) is almost 20%. The word "Once" should be changed to "If, on the rare possibility..."

Although few, if any, have mentioned this, the real choice is either:

Live under a bridge.

Live in a tent city.

Get killed in Afghanistan or Iraq ("serve" in the Armed Forces).

Live with the parents.

"Although few, if any, have mentioned this, the real choice is either...get killed in Afghanistan or Iraq ("serve" in the Armed Forces)"

Uh, I graduated high school in 2003 and went straight into the military. I learned valuable life lessons and job skills, saw the world, and am now 27 and far more financially secure than friends who flitted around getting silly liberal arts degrees without any sort of experience to back them up. Same goes for all of my military friends, both active and veteran. I stand firm that the military is an excellent springboard, even though I somehow missed the whole "getting killed" part myself.

Oh, but the handful of friends that died fighting for your freedom? Yeah, thanks for so flippantly dismissing their sacrifice.

Thanks for your service, Sarah. My husband served in Iraq in 2003, and his brother served there in 2006 and in Afghanistan in 2009. Both are still active duty, and they're my heroes.

Oh, and they're still alive.

Yes, let's not forget that joining the military is something that people do when they have no skills and no options! I mean, who would every serve if they could avoid it???

My husband is an aerospace engineer who builds computers as a hobby, so I take exception at the idea that it was the military for him or living under a bridge. He thought it would be nice for his parents not to have to foot the entire bill for his college education. He has been steadily employed since finishing college, with great benefits.

♥ Sarah

The Europeans have it right; end mandatory high school at 16 and make that the age where a teen first gets their first dose of legal rights, with 18 being the second (dropping this age 21 crap all together.)

***

It is not uncommon, in many European countries, to live with your parents until you are married. Certainly through college.

True, but Europe sux. They haven't produced the most dynamic, productive societies, anyway.

My kids are 7 and 10. One of my common refrains around the house is that after high school they will be going off to college or the military. If they want to stay at home they will need to pay me rent(market value rent)and buy their own groceries.

Posted by: Andrew Hall at May 19, 2012 4:40 AM
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Just curious: If they WANT to, say, go to trade school or just move out and get a job and promise not to return, is there a problem with that?

After all, with any of those four choices, kids still have to work hard in school to prove to SOMEONE that they're serious workers.