A recovering porn addict, Cook suffered from performance anxiety with girlfriends. Sex got better with his wife, but he didn't know how much until he discovered karezza. "It kind of never ends," said Cook. "Why would I want to give that up for a 15-second orgasm?"

OK, trading one addiction for another. Avariciousness replaced by abstemiousness. It sounds like a drunkard boasting "But no bourbon could ever give me the feeling that JESUS gives me!" Whatever gets you through the night, dude.

Yes, "blue balls" is a physical and real issue. What the author describes is like responding to unhealthy habits of ingesting 10,000 calories per day by not eating anything at all.

This feels like one of those artificial "trend" pieces manufactured by Cosmo or Gawker.

> This feels like one of those artificial "trend"
> pieces manufactured by Cosmo or Gawker.

Yes, but consider the quote:

"Orgasm really isn't in our genitals, but actually between our ears," she said.

People who say things like that probably aren't getting the (genital) sex they need anyway... Let 'em have their media fun.

"Actually, ...."

So, sex (or more accurately, some kind of sex like substance) that ends because of boredom is somehow more satisfying than sex that ends because of orgasm?

It will end at some point, regardless (or does karezza magically avoid hunger or sleep or the need to pee?).

So, either you're some kind of superhuman, non orgasmic, pseudo-fucking machine, or at some point you stop without release (which sounds like it may be only slightly better than being kicked in the balls).

If I tried that shit with my girlfriend, the next sound you would hear would be a (muffled) buzzing sound under the blanket.

What kind of developmentally disabled birth defect thinks of this kind of crap?

I like intimacy. I even like seeing if I can improve the duration of intercourse. But if I tried to pass this stuff off in my sex life, I'd be lucky to be left with just porn.

offtopic

Hugs not drugs or orgasms, actually.

Matt Cook hasn't had an orgasm in seven months, and he hopes never to intentionally have one again.

Matt Cook is a liar

Climax is not the goal and ideally does not occur while making love.

Without climax the species will die, on second thought I hope as many morons as possible take this up

"It creates a deep feeling in a relationship that is very difficult to describe -- much deeper than conventional sex," he said.

My wife is into this new age shit, and get to have sex mre ften I just have to jerk myself to finnish in the bathroom later, I can live with this comprmise

Cook is one of a growing number of men who have embraced karezza

Had their wives force it on them more likely

A recovering porn addict,

Or mre likley a guy whos wife flipped the fuck out that her husband dared to whack it when she wouldnt touch it herself

Cook suffered from performance anxiety with girlfriends. Sex got better with his wife,

lets see 51 -25 yrs of marrige, -x yrs as no one gets married the momnet they meet - I'd hazard a guess that the girls he had preformance anxiety with were in his teens and early 20s. Preformce anxiety might also be called fumbling begins by people not trying to sell their latest cult to the (m)asses

...A former corporate lawyer and now a devotee, Robinson argues that karezza's power is rooted in neuroscience.

Ohh a neuro biology lesson from a lawyer, this should be fun

In the "passion cycle of orgasm," the hormone dopamine rises in anticipation of sex, then crashes after orgasm, creating a biochemical "hangover," according to Robinson.

In men, that happens almost immediately after ejaculation; for women, it can be two weeks before the brain returns to homeostasis, according to Robinson.

"Karezza turned out to be an enjoyable way to tiptoe around biology's agenda," she said.

Overstimulation of the pleasure receptors can also desensitize the brain to pleasure or create a craving for more. When men are addicted to pornography or have frequent orgasms, "no amount of pleasure can satisfy," she said. "We are always looking for something novel."

So you use this technique to prevent the dopamine crash? Wouldnt that 'acctually' make your brain more dependednt on dopamine. If your dopamine doent come back down to pre arousal levels and just ramps higher and higher wouldnt that be dnagerous?

But in karezza, lovemaking never finishes, so sexual energy continues to flow, helping to prevent boredom with a partner, say advocates.

So, sex has no buid up, no release, just the same level of tention that never changes? Wouldnt that be the very deffiniton of bredom?

Karezza also elicits the relaxation response and encourages the brain to release the "love" hormone ocytocin, which helps in bonding behavior.

I though ocytocin was released after climax. Wouldnt this 'technique' hinder bonding?

Sounds like people with sexual dysfunctions trying to convince themselves and each other that they actually prefer having the dysfunction.

The logic behind 'Karezza' appears to be the state of mind from sexual arousal/sexual energy, good. Orgasms because they erase that energy and cause an extended period of time without it, not good. The solution is don't orgasm.
As someone else mentioned this guy appears to be using an extreme as a solution to his prior extreme. Hey, if a guy uses every possible alone time opportunity to access pictures of intertwined Megan Fox & Juianne Hough lookalikes for the expressed purpose of whacking off, no study is needed to know it is probably causing sexual intimacy problems within his relationship. Isn't the clear, rational solution simply to use his 'Karezza' energy for the far more proven results of moderation?
Also, is down time (periods without sexual energy) necessarily a bad thing? Cleaning, shopping, calls to the relatives, the million tedious occupational tasks, tending to the monthly bills....the checking account doesn't balance itself! Don't these needs fit 'down time' like a glove?

This & this

What an idiot. I agree with others, he is trading one addiction for another. And personally, I love my boyfriend's orgasms. Hearing, seeing, and feeling his moments give me satisfaction. Every sexual act has to have an ending. I'd rather end with a bang than a fizzle.

Matt Cook hasn't had an orgasm in seven months, and he hopes never to intentionally have one again.

Fuck that.

Hey, if a guy uses every possible alone time opportunity to access pictures of intertwined Megan Fox & Juianne Hough lookalikes for the expressed purpose of whacking off, no study is needed to know it is probably causing sexual intimacy problems within his relationship.

Listen shill, I mean TW, is it more likely that a guy whacking off leads to less intancy with hius wife, or less intamcy with his wife leads to a guy whacking off?

And would you as an obvious fan of this care to explain how using this technique to circumvent dopamine uptake thereby exposing the brian to higher quantities is LESS damaging and addictive than normal human behavior?

I don't buy this. Sounds to me like this guy is taking Lexapro—an antidepressant. I could not come at all until I cut my dosage back. In fact, I don't take it at all if I think I am going to get some loving. Sex is a pretty good antidepressant by itself.

Yeah...gotta say, this sounds like some new agey bullshit foisted on men with no balls by chicks with no brains.

Gentle, tender love making has all the excitement of a sonnet reading.

As one author in psychology today put her answer to the statement: "Sex shouldn't leave you feeling as sore as if you'd been in a boxing match"

...Why the hell not? Passion, energy, and a seemingly unquenchable desire, now there is sex worth having.

The difference between the two is like the difference between standing at the base of a mountain together and proclaiming its granduer...and climbing to the summit to look down. Those idiotic "Karezza" fools proclaim that staying at the base of the mountain to be the best idea ever.

It makes me think of this:
http://i.eatliver.com/2011/6710.jpg

edit: Only the line with "Why the hell not" was her answer, the paragraph after that was my own addition to that statement.

Lujlp writes "Listen shill, I mean TW, is it more likely that a guy whacking off leads to less intancy with his wife, or less intamcy with his wife leads to a guy whacking off?"

You are making a leap from A to B (Shill? huh?). To answer your question, I don't have an answer to your question. I'm sure there is not one explanation to fit all situations. I'm sure what you believe to be the cause is sometimes applicable. But I was not speaking to motivation, I was speaking to the detriment of acting in the extreme (calling it addiction). Hey, mom was an alcoholic, dad ran off when I was 10, I work harder than anyone else but get passed over for promotion, I missed the Harvard entrance exam by 1 point, I am genetically predisposed to addiction, my spouse gives me no sex, etc etc. Speak to the pro, Amy, on that, I'm not up on what the reasons/motivations are for extreme behavior. I can only tell you my own observations are extreme behavior is usually detrimental (again, those are 'my' observations).
One other item, a spouse that stays completely away from "intimacy"? Also an extreme behavior. And that certainly appears to be another extreme that causes detrimental consequences. And taking matters into one's own hands (the issue actually applies to males or females though disproportionally) isn't an unreasonable reaction......unless taken to the extreme.

> Fuck that.

Dood, that's two.

51, eh? A Baby Boomer.

That explains a few things.

The Baby Boom was one of the most over-indulged, self-infatuated, and destructive generations America has ever produced.

Every one of life's milestones was approached by Boomers as if they were the first generation to ever experience it; or at least the first to experience it correctly.

Institutions that served the civilization well for thousands of years were deemed by Boomers to be imperialistic, racist, xenophobic, or simply outdated - to be replaced with Boomer-approved kinder, gentler, multicultural ones.

Now, apparently, the rest of us have been doing marriage, sex, and intimacy incorrectly.

Kinda ironic then, that our less-enlightened ancestors managed to stay married for years while the more-enlightened Boomers have the highest divorce rate of any generation.

Thank God, a bunch of aging hippies are here to tell the rest of us how marriage, sex, and intimacy are done. Without them, we might have taken Grandpa's advice on marital longevity and kept it in our pants.

This must have originated from The Onion. Right?

Yeah, a lot of women have been practicing that accidently for their whole lives. I have sex a fair amount without an orgasm for me even being on the table. As Wanda Sykes says-"sometimes you know you ain't getting there before the train even leaves the station". (I think she went gay, but the point stands)

So I can feel close to DH without working toward an orgasm. I do it because he IS having one, though, and I love him and want him happy (most of the time...some nights it's just No, though!)

With no one climaxing? Seems odd, intentionally. But hey, if they're happy, who cares?

And yeah, some antidepressants make the end damn near impossible. It's a tough balance.

"aren't blue balls an issue?"

Blue balls are about as real as the G-spot. That is to say, not.

And as for the "no orgasm" thing... I think this report was originally filed on May 31st, and overlooked.

Blue balls are about as real as the G-spot. That is to say, not.

Maybe if you're just referring to actual coloration.

There really is a degree of testicular discomfort caused by prolonged, unreleased, stimulation (and Amy's vasocongestion link may well describe the physiology behind the issue).

But...

Let's just say that 'blue balls' really are the Loch Ness monster of sexuality.

How does their existence or non-existence validate the stated underlying principle behind karezza (that orgasm is bad)?

As far as I'm concerned, useless new age bullshit like karezza has as much applicability to a healthy sex life as does a wood chipper (Now, with permanent orgasm removal!).

Wow, are you guys hostile. Few mention the delight of the continued presence of your sweetheart. In such cases it seems you're just banging. Gotta be fast and get back to the game on TV.

What's your record? Five, six minutes? Guys, can you even stick around long enough (pun intended) to see that your lady gets everything she wants?

You'd better.

aren't blue balls an issue?

Yes. And they are not pleasant.

It's in error to view Karezza as conventional sex where one forces oneself to quit before climaxing. Karezza is a practice akin to Tantric sex, and is often approached as an introduction to it.

I understand why the idea of enjoying sex without genital stimulation as the main goal seems so strange, but I'm shocked at the level of direct hostility towards it.

As long as both partners are into it.

I had a guy once who claimed thats what he was doing, but I think I just didn't do it for him and he didn't want to admit it. He said he didn't finish because it was intentional, but, um, he could have told me BEFORE... thats why I think he was lying.

When I read article like this I put Warren on loud.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ig-RShZ6m4

Look radwaste, noone is saying get to the end asap, but if yu never get to the end you basically in the same place you were before you even started

Wow, luj.

So your partner's not worth being with if you don't get off?

Not what you expected, I suppose, but that's what it looks like from here.

Yup, there's alot of hostility in this here chat. Don't cum between a man and his Constitutional right to ejaculate!