See this & this.

(The NYT one pisses me off... Those people are heartless.)

Why did the chicken salad cross the road? It was trying to catch the mayonnaise.

To see what other sides there were besides fries.

Olie from Minnesota is dying. He's in his bed, his strength ebbing away, listening to his wife, Lena, puttering around in the kitchen. Suddenly, he smells one of his favorite smells. Lena's making chocolate chip cookies! With the last of his power, he crawls out of bed, down the hall to the kitchen, where he is just able to reach up to the counter and grab one of those little delights ...

*SMACK!* comes the spatula down on his hand. "Outta dere, you!" scolds Lena. "Dem's for de wake!"

(Olie recovers, by the way)

You guys, tits!!!

On the internet!

Titties!

(The ears story is great.)

A female reporter, interviewing an American Indian chief, asked the significance of the varied number of feathers in Indian headdresses.

"Feathers show number of sexual partners," the chief replied. Indicating a nearby young brave, He continued, "Him? One woman, one feather. Him ?" pointing to a second, older man, "Three women, three feathers."

The reporter looked at the Chief's headdress. "But you have so many feathers!"

The Chief proudly slapped his chest. "Me Chief. Sleep with all women. Big, small, fat, tall."

Horrified, the female reporter said, "You ought to be hung!"

The Chief said, "Damn right. Me hung big like buffalo, long like snake."

The offended reporter said, "You don't have to be hostile!"

The Chief replied, "Hoss-style, dog-style, wolf-style, any style!"

The reporter cried, "Oh, dear!"

"No deer", said the Chief. "Ass too high, run too fast!"