I'm actually grappeling with this question right now after a spouse of 25 years has gone unbelievably bad. Old girlfriends- one photo each, behind a frame that I open maybe once every five years.

Women have different ways of handling remembrance.

I keep mine, but they're put away in boxes, not out on display.

Thinking back, I'm pretty sure my past bfs/husband would only be weirded out if I were bringing them out to share the memories or putting them up or something.

In my experience, guys are not that great at putting shit away. It kind of works out well for me because I'm a little bit curious about their former loves, and that gives me a little peek into their past (not snoopy snoopy look. Only with permission look).

Somewhat related: I was on a pool league and one teammate had a tattoo of an ex-gf pin-up style on one arm, and a tattoo of his wife pin-up style on the other. I wondered how often that happens and how well that goes over.

I think I have pictures of the ex wife in a photo album somewhere, but none on display of her or any of the GFs since.

Lot's of hurt and betrayal out there Amy. I am pretty sure I wouldn't ever look at them again because I would just see them as the lies they were.

As we were breaking up, my ex threw out every single thing I gave him, including unworn clothing, cologne, ties, knick-knacks, etc. What hurt especially was that I was a student during the majority of our time together, and it was quite a lot for me to spend $75 on a bottle of cologne—which he threw away virtually unused. This also had the effect of adding an aura of blame that I was the reason we were breaking up—when in reality, he was hiring escorts from out of town and fucking around with everyone he could find. It was only after we had broken up for a couple of months that I discovered this—even then I tried to remain friends. I let him park his car at my apartment and took him to the airport and picked him up from a trip. He never spoke to me again after that. The upside is that I grew a spine and would never let anyone treat me like this again.

I'm friends with ex-es on Facebook and have put up pictures of my HS JR prom and tagged my ex. We are still friends. My ex from my SR prom, I still have those pictures but wouldn't be friends with him because of what he did but I still want to remember my prom.

Hubby has his HS prom pics with his ex-wife and plenty of pics with her and their kids.

Not a big deal for us (though we are also both pack-rats and have trouble throwing things away).

I have pics of my ex up on the family photo wall in the hall, for my child's benefit (she is pre-teen). I keep them there because he is my child's father, not out of any longing for him or the good times on my part. 4 pics total: 2 in large extended family photos, 1 of him with his whole family, and 1 with us and kiddo as a baby.

My current boyfriend is fine with it. He has children, and understands the weirdness of divorce and the fairly odd compromises one makes for the sake of the children. Case in point - his daughter wanted to get her Mom a present for her birthday, so he took her shopping and bought a gift. Weird? Sure, on the face of it, buying presents for an ex. But what other good choice did he have?

Yep! They stay in the photo album designated for that time in my life. I took out any that show us kissing or anything like that, but yes, I have them. He doesn't have any, that I know of, but I wouldn't care if he did. He keeps my picture in his wallet and on his dashboard.

And I also am friends with my exes.

I never was big into picture taking to begin with, but any of exes that I have are in a photo album, long ago tucked away. Current BF and I have pics here and there of us, but most are of our kids, seperately and together. Better for all that way I guess.

Friends with a couple exes, not all.

My son has a photo of his mom hanging on his bedroom wall at my home (and at his mom's home he has a photo of me hanging on the wall).

> My son has a photo of his mom hanging on
> his bedroom wall at my home (and at his
> mom's home he has a photo of me hanging
> on the wall).

That's kinda sweet... It must help everyone remember who's who and what's what.

I remember a letter to an advice columnist about forty years ago. A widowed man married a widowed woman in their senior years, and when she moved in he realized to his horror that his place was littered with photos of his first wife. The new one had a suggestion: 'Let's put your favorite picture of her and my favorite picture of my late husband together, facing each other, in the most conspicuous spot in the living room, and pack everything else out of view.'

Golden.

heh, my ex constantly tried to unwrite my life when we were together... and she found in my stuff all of the letters I had ever gotten in my life... cuz, you know... in the olden days we wrote letters.

And proceeded to freak out that there were letters from girls beside her in there. Ya know, my aunt, grandmother, and tons of girls who were my friends but not my girlfriends, and maybe 10 that were from ex girlfriends. 8 of those from one.

Realizing that at the point she had that freakout it had been 12 years since the newest of the letters had been written.

so she proceeded to demand that I tell who each was from and if she was a girlfriend or not...

I proceeded to tell her that in order to make her feel more secure, I would destroy them all.

I wasn't savvy enough to realize what this was all about and what was at stake. We had been married for 3 years and I was still quite in love with her, I didn't intuit that this was just about power, or crazy insecurity... I thought it was a chance to do that rom-com thing where the guy proves his worth to his bride.

If I deviated from the script anywhere, it was my decision to destroy them all, not just the ones from ex-s. In my mind, ALL of the letters were equally valuable to me, regardless if from my best friend, or my Nana, or my old girlfriend who died.

So. All those memories lost like tears in rain.

Except... since I was a photographer, she never went through my filing cabinets of negatives to see if I had pictures of old gf's there... so I prolly still have a picture or two.

Ultimately this is all about a moment in your life that you lived with someone that is NOT your current mate.

Does that mate wish to erase that part of your life as if it had never been? It's one thing to rub their nose in it by having a pic or letter where they can see it, quite another to have it stored somewhere, knowing in your mind that there are memories in physical forms of a time long ago.

I have a number of photos of exes around --- somewhere --- but it's not a big deal because a) no one was really serious before I met my husband and b) neither one of us are the jealous types.

So maybe I don't have much to add except a datum that for some people, this just doesn't matter.

Not long after we married, my wife came across an envelope of photos in my desk. Many of them were ex-girlfriends. She was a little upset, but I honestly thought I'd gotten rid of them earlier (really!). I certainly threw them out after that.

Now, I still have the old high school dance photos, and a couple of the girls in the photos are Facebook friends. None of this is a secret to my wife, but I don't take the photos out much, except maybe to prove to my kids that corduroy suits once actually existed, and that their Pa actually wore one.

DH let me burn the pictures of his ex. She works for the only vet in town so I see her all the time, anyway.

I have literally thousands of old photos, I'm in the process of scanning all of my family pics to preserve them. Most of the Ex pics go into the folder, there is only one that I am deliberately exorcising from my memory. Thankfully we don't have any children together, and he's uglier than sin, so I'd rather not have anything to remind me of him. (my friends guilted me into going out wit him, telling me not to be "shallow". Guess what, I shoulda been shallow, 'cause his ugly ran more than skin deep.)

I didn't have a Facebook page when I was with my last sweetheart, although she did. After getting numerous invites, I finally created a page of my own. That was after our Christmas break-up. I did what everyone does and checked out her page, and saw that it was full of pics of her women-friends horseback riding.
I knew that if I could see her page, she could see mine.
So, I filled my page with my own (ex)women-friends horseback riding.
I wanted to let her know she's special to me, just like all those others.

This is a tough one. I ended an eleven-year relationship in May and the boy's pics are still all over my FB page (ironically, I took down all the ones in the apartment).

I know at some point I have to probably excise them from there (especially if I start dating someone new) but we have a lot of mutual friends (and we're still FB friends) so this could get QUITE interesting.

I have all the stuff from my former marriage in a box in the closet - I figure keeping it is fair game because he died, I didn't divorce him - but still, it's not out where anyone can see it.

I think putting that stuff away is probably part of moving on.

I find it hard to imagine that it would be creepy that someone has had a life before me.

If they had a shrine built up to the ex, that would be one thing. But collection of photos recalling good times, no harm there.

If anything I'd call it healthy because it shows that they're not bitter about their past.

I think I have some in a box somewhere but I'm not sure. Don't know, don't care.

Yes, what Robert said.

Get rid of her pic of the Eiffel Tower because there is a guy in there she used to sleep with? I don't think so.

There are no pictures on display of our exes, but we both have photo albums and boxes of pics and there are some with former partners.

Why? As Robert said, we had lives before we met each other.

Not quite on topic, but a few years ago her first husband was visiting from out of town with one of the daughters at Thanksgiving. She asked if she could bring him to dinner, so we set another place.

I'm just a sentimental person in general, so I never get rid of photos. I have a locket my most serious ex gave me with a picture of us inside. It lives at the bottom of my jewelry box (I NEVER wear it).

I also have a flashdrive with thousands of old photos, and, yes, some of them include me and my exes kissing, the benches and sidewalks we carved our initials into, our names with hearts written in the sand, and other things it would be awkward for my current BF to see.

I'd never get back together with any of those idiots, but those photos make me smile, remind me of young love, and, in some cases, make me cringe -- and that, to me, is exactly what old photos are supposed to do. And so they remain, hidden but available for trips down memory lane.

I guess the point is that I keep them hidden, so my current boyfriend (who respects my privacy) has never seen them.

Yeah, I think there's one picture of my ex in a photo album. I can't get rid of it--it was taken in a restaurant where we were in one booth and the next was filled with four clowns in full clown gear.

My husband has one with his ex and her kids, too. No big deal. These are a part of our past, and when we occasionally go through the albums on the rare occasions I clean the big old bookcase, the exes are just in there like a picture in an old yearbook.

I like seeing pictures of my boyfriend and his exes for the same reason I like seeing pictures of him as a baby, at his high school graduation and so on: I'm interested the life and history of the person I love. Plus it's funny seeing the clothes and hairstyles and what not from back in the day. I just can't imagine getting jealous over old photos. It's just a picture.

The modern thing to do with pictures of you and the ex seems to be to crop out all but a tiny sliver of him, (like maybe his ear) and then use it as your match.com profile picture because you are too embarrassed to ask a girlfriend to take a proper one of you.

If she freaks over a picture of your ex, imagine her reaction if she ever finds out The Real Number.