Whiney Mass Murderer Breivik Complains, "I Am Not Allowed Moisturizer"
Lowering The Bar blogs about Norwegian mass murderer Anders Breivik's turn as the Goldilocks of jailed, cold-blooded killers, as he writes a 27-page letter of his complaints to the country's prison service. These, according to the BBC, include:
•his coffee is often cold;
•he has to "rush" when shaving and brushing his teeth;
•his cell is "poorly decorated" and has no view;
•he is not given enough butter for his bread;
•the TV switch is outside his cell; and, most diabolically,
•he is not allowed moisturizer.
Lowering The Bar continues:
Oh dear. We are sorry, sir. Was the Chateaubriand not to your liking? Wine not properly chilled? Perhaps the presentation of the Bananas Foster was insufficiently flamboyant. The explanation may be that the chef is new, or possibly that YOU ARE A MURDERING PIECE OF TRASH. I'll check, sir.... Yes, it is the latter. It appears one's hands will remain chapped for the foreseeable future, sir. Perhaps they have moisturizer in Hell, sir, although one thinks it unlikely.
via @overlawyered
His cell has three rooms. One room for excersise equipment.
They special ordered an expensive pen so he won't kill himself...
Purple pen at November 15, 2012 11:23 PM
What's a guy got to do to get the death penalty in Norway?
MarkD at November 16, 2012 5:20 AM
On other sites, the male commenters recognized that his request for moisturizer was not in response to chapped hands.
Astra at November 16, 2012 5:39 AM
What's a guy got to do to get the death penalty in Norway?
Send him back in time, and give him to the tender mercies of Viking King Harald Bluetooth?
I R A Darth Aggie at November 16, 2012 6:05 AM
Nobody?
NOBODY'S gonna say it? I gotta say it?
Okay...
Ahem...
"It puts the lotion on its skin..."
vinnieb@ptd.net at November 16, 2012 6:24 AM
Hangings at noon had a lot to recommend them.
momof4 at November 16, 2012 7:07 AM
Let him have his moisturizer - laced with arsenic!
Flynne at November 16, 2012 7:16 AM
NOBODY'S gonna say it?
I was trying to avoid the low-hanging fruit. Also, beware of low-flying drones.
I R A Darth Aggie at November 16, 2012 8:54 AM
"They special ordered an expensive pen so he won't kill himself..."
Which was something else he complained about, although it was noted that it didn't stop him from writing his list of complaints with it.
Like this smug bastard would try to kill himself...
Pricklypear at November 16, 2012 9:26 AM
"His 21-year sentence can be indefinitely extended for as long as he is considered a danger to society."
Hopefully no bleeding heart person will ever NOT extend his sentence.
He gets 3x as much space as in SuperMax, and the safety pen isn't for his benefit, but the guards...
We'll see how he feels after 20 years. He may wish for the death penalty then.
SwissArmyD at November 16, 2012 10:18 AM
Here is some happier news:
http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2010/12/dairy-diabetes/?fb_ref=sidebar
I love it when something I like gets a study saying it is good for me!!!
NicoleK at November 16, 2012 12:25 PM
I would have put him down permanently. He's a rabid dog, and should be treated as such. People who have more sympathy for the criminals than they do for the victims piss me off.
At the very least, he should be kept in a pine box, and only be allowed out to eat and go to the bathroom.
Kat at November 16, 2012 12:29 PM
Well I have a suggestion on where he can store his pen when he's using it. But of course he might need the lotion then. ;-)
Jim P. at November 16, 2012 1:30 PM
Aww, come on folks, have a heart, the poor guy is suffering . . .
So, let's just hang him now to put him out of his misery.
Charles at November 16, 2012 1:48 PM
Where is Max Manus when Norway needs him to plant a limpet where Breivik's moisturizer wouldn't shine?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Manus
Jay J. Hector at November 17, 2012 9:48 AM
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