I think I have enough to fill a whole book! Here's one for starters: people on the T who play music on their phones not for themselves with earbuds, but for the whole car on speaker. I would thank them for sharing their love of music, but I don't want to get shot. Alternative revenge fantasy: cranking up Manilow's Copacabana at full volume on speaker as a counter.

Love your blog and your take on many things! Have a happy holiday and may the telemarketers leave you in peace.

Recent international flight took about 11 hours, so people didn't want to sit in their seats the whole time. I was in a seat directly in front of an alcove for the flight attendants, where snacks and beverages were set up (self-serve).

Unfortunately the aisles were extremely narrow and the people were not. Even though I was contained within the confines of my seat, I had hips and butts hitting my shoulder the entire flight!

One woman in particular whose girth should have warranted two seats and a specially designed aisle did not want to stay in her seat and she walked around the plane in a circle (plane was huge - three columns, two aisles, double decker Air France flight).

At first I tried to be polite and mildly cough or say "excuse me" the first few times I got her ass in my face. Finally I asked her to be careful. Either she didn't speak English or she didn't care. Eventually I took the pen they gave me to fill out my US Customs form and when I saw her coming I held it near my shoulder. So every time she invaded my space I jabbed her right in the ass with a pen. It didn't stop her and I wasn't sure what else to do.

Going to sound a bit racist, but when I was in my teens and was taking the bus. A few times I would get some Asian or other nationalities people on the bus. When they where talking in their own language it was always distracting and annoying. Other people would speak English, but the other language always seem twice as loud. i think it was more because it was I could not really understand anything and my mind could not filter what is being said.

Know that I am in an Asian country and I can see the other side of this behavior, I try to be considerate because the same thing drives the Koreans crazy. I have had my share of stink eyes and harsh words from some people who have taken umbrage at me and my friends talking. Someone speaking another language starts to grate on the nerves a bit. Plus throw in some the "Ugly American" behavior (loud obnoxious behavior) that some people do it can make a ride ten times as worse.

So if you are travelling and your are talking in another language consider toning it down.

Another is people who are not ready. You are getting on the bus have money or ticket ready. All it takes is that one person who is digging around for money or pass, can really slow things down.

Bicyclists. On the path: they fly up from behind at twice the posted speed limit without bell, horn, spluttering raspberry, or voice warning, trying to see how close they can cut between me and the oncoming young wife with child in a stroller - rather than slowing down and waiting for the walkers/runners to pass one another. We're talking a delay of one to three seconds ...

On the road they run stop signs, turn without signaling, ride in the middle of backcountry mountain roads with blind turns and no shoulders, and then scream "share the road!" when they almost get squished by surprised motorists like the insects they are.

Hate 'em, hate 'em, hate 'em.

In fairness I also detest drivers who run down bicyclists and then flee the scene.

I hate drivers who pass me on EITHER side when I'm in the middle lane. Truckers who crawl up my ass even when I'm doing 75 in a 55 mph zone. People who don't slow down for work zones, and blow by as if they're the only ones in a hurry.
People who DON'T SIGNAL when they're changing lanes. People who cut in front of me and then SLOW D O W N. People who brake in the 3rd lane, thinking they're "teaching someone a lesson" and not getting that they're screwing up everyone ELSE behind the person they're trying to "teach a lesson" too! Road hogs in general.

'K, I'm done for now!

o.O

A few years ago I was getting on a plane. The boarding area was fairly crowded beforehand.

So I find my seat and put my carry-on in the overhead bin on the opposite side of the aisle, because the one over my seat is full. The passenger underneath is mildly upset because I put my bag on top of his suit jacket.

I could tell he wanted to ask "Why would you do that?" All I could think is why is it my responsibility not to wrinkle your jacket? I wasn't trying to be rude, but surely he could see what would happen when more passengers got on board.

NYC subway - a woman was doing her nails. I finally got the nerve to ask her to stop when the smell go to me. She said ok, but I think she was largely done.

I am also a biker. I have bells, noise makers and even an illegal whistle to get peoples attention. Now I admit, I push the limit with red lights, but I do my best to not interfere with pedestrians who have the right of way and will apologize even if I get too close. I don't even want to scare them. (I don't like the bike messengers who plow through red lights and go the wrong way-especially on avenues.)

On the other hand, if it is my light and they are standing or walking in my lane without even looking...that drives me crazy. I will ring the bell, toot the whistle, blow the whistle for several seconds and people don't even look. This is especially bad where there are bike lanes separated from traffic, they are green and have stencils of bikes.

I was blowing my whistle for 3 or 4 times (for many seconds each time) for one woman on Union Sq North, then finally had to stop so I wouldn't hit her, then she finally realized what was going on and she told me I need to be careful. In that particular section there is a full traffic lane the pedestrians can walk on that is next to the bike lane--and she had to be clueless IN the bike lane.

I get people trying to cross against the light...but PAY ATTENTION, if you see me and I'm not afraid your gonna move more in my way-I can work around you.

People who get on the plane and put their roller bag in the bin above the first row when they are seated all the way in the back.

People who don't obey "slower traffic keep right" (endemic in Colorado).

On the subway in NYC, two little kids and my husband and myself. Obnoxious panhandler gets on with his sax, blows random noises, so people will pay him to leave. My daughter starts to cry, and my 7 year old son tell him " Go away! You're scaring my sister,". And the guy slunk off. Car full of adults, too. Lady next to me says "You raise your kids in the city?"

I have only had one minor altercation on a plane, and it was over a seating assignment. I suspect this happens frequently on international flights.
The plane we were on had those confusing ABC, isle seat window seat, middle seat markings. I was slotted for the aisle seat which I ALWAYS pick since I have a terrible tendency to air sickness, and the thought of being trapped by the window stresses me out and makes me more likely to be sick.

So anyway, I get on the plane, I am one of the last ones to board, and I encounter a large African male, sitting in my seat. He insists it is his seat. I don't give in. I say, look, you can either move over, or we can call the stewardess to sort it out based on the boarding pass.
He moved. I still don't know if he was BSing me, or honestly could not understand the seating diagram.
The rest of the flight was quite pleasant. It sounded like Engish was his second language, and he was studying for the GED.
Twenty years ago, I would have given in, but I am getting old and crotchety.

My #1, Numero Uno, Pet Peeve A is people who stop to let out their passengers while parked in the middle of the street, holding up traffic, when it's just as easy and much safer to pull over to the open curb.

#2 would have to be people standing in the road, fiddle-farting around inside their cars with the door wide open to the street as traffic is trying to pass. Get your package out and go, or make whatever adjustment you have to make from the curb side.

Regarding airlines: I put my rollaboard in the compartment over my own seat (I can live out of that bag for a week) and sit down. It takes less than 10 seconds. This seems to be a major challenge for a lot of people these days (and I'm not talking the elderly or infirm) -- the act of stepping out of the aisle, putting a suitcase in the overhead and then sitting down quickly is beyond the ken of a lot of folks. I'm not sure why.

The stupid woman with the dog and the SUV stroller taking up the ENTIRE bike trail. Usually walking with her likewise entitlement-minded friend and making sure the leash is stretched across the trail, because, you know, IT'S ALL ABOUT THEM.

And they have the nerve to act pissed when I want to pass them.

I hate those bitches.

Healthy, young adults on BART (bay area rapid transit) that would take up seats and pretend to not see little old ladies, people on crutches, pregnant women, blind people, etc etc when they got on so they didn't have to offer them their seat.

One time I got on with a blind man and as he stepped on, there were able bodies sitting in the seats reserved for "seniors and persons with disabilities" which this guy qualified for BOTH! So I took the blind guy by the arm and gently walked in with him and walked straight up to the ingrates in those seats (tAking a nose dive into their SF chronicles or pretending to nod off) and started to read out at the top of my lungs "Federal Law mandates these seats be made available to seniors and persons with disabilities".!!!!!

They moved.

Pissed me off. There are somethings I really do miss about working in the financial district in San Francisco. BART ain't one of them!

Drivers who swing out into my lane while making a left-turn.

Drivers who don't change lanes (when safe) while whizzing past cars (and especially people) stalled on the side of the highway.

People who have no idea how a four-way-stop works. Worse yet, people in roundabouts who STOP IN THE ROUNDABOUT to let someone go.

It's probably a good thing I don't have a hood-mounted cannon on my car...

Tailgaters. I'm already going a good bit over the speed limit, and anyway there's a car in front of my. Trying to inspect the inside of my tailpipe with your hood ornament is not going to make me magically get out of your way. These people are accidents waiting to happen.

Most famously, one idiot in his pickup truck was tailgating me so close that I could no longer see the front of his car. This, on a really crowded highway at the beginning of rush hour, travelling maybe 60 mph. I was in the left lane, and he wanted to pass, but it wasn't going to happen - the highway was full, and there was no where to go. Nuts, just nuts. So I flashed my brake lights at him (carefully *not* slowing down). He freaks out, forces his way into the right lane (which was moving faster), passes, rolls down his window, and starts chucking full cans of coke at my car. Thankfully he missed, and I slowed down and got away from the bastard.

People who get to the end of the escalator and stop to look around. Yo, dumbass. The rest of us can't just stop and wait. It's Lucy and the chocolate factory here ... and we're the chocolates.

People on BART who take up more than one seat at rush hour ... and then act put out when you insist they move into one seat so you can sit down. One woman (apparent teenager, huffily pointed out unoccupied seats I could have taken that would not have required her to give up her window seat foot rest.

People on the highway who race to get ahead of you at the off ramp, practically running you off the road to get in front of you when there's more than enough room behind you for them to slide into and take the off ramp.

Americans do't know how to use elevators?! Egad.

I had a coworker once "correct" me because I got out of the elevator first. I was last in and it was crowded.

She felt I should have let her (a woman) out first - no matter the massive inconvenience of the other passengers squeezing and squirming to make room for me to get out of her way.

She was an idiot - in many other ways as well.

a) i have to make an evasive maneuver almost every day to avoid drivers drifting over the center line with their eyes on their cell phone they've propped up on their steering wheel.

b) might be an L.A. thing, but i've developed a 6th sense that cars that signal left in the middle of street then pull to the right are about to do an illegal u-turn which of course requires slamming on the brakes to avoid collision.

c) echo left turn lane idiots, either swinging wide right while making the turn, or only pulling 1/2 way into the turn lane blocking an entire lane of traffic until they make their turn.

d) during commute when the freeway splits and one direction is backed up but the other is traveling at speed, when idiots stay in the flowing lane until the last possible second then slam on their brakes and come to a complete stop putting their turn signal on waiting to force themselves into the backed-up lane, i.e. 134 E at the 101 S split.

(make that the 134 E / 5 S split)

People who accelerate to pass a group of cars so they can fly diagonally across the highway to their exit - rather than taking their foot off the gas and exiting behind the pack without disrupting the flow.

And ditto Daghain's call on the trail-talkers. Jee-SUS, people, don't walk two strollers abreast on a biking/running/walking trail that's only two people wide!

Although I suppose that would kill the opportunity to stare blankly ahead while the person next to them drones on about their precious diaper-filler in the wheelbarrow ahead of them.

I had a coworker once "correct" me because I got out of the elevator first. I was last in and it was crowded.

She felt I should have let her (a woman) out first - no matter the massive inconvenience of the other passengers squeezing and squirming to make room for me to get out of her way.

She was an idiot - in many other ways as well.

Posted by: Conan the Grammarian at December 23, 2012 12:53 PM
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From what I've heard, in the Southern states (this may have stopped) it was the custom there for men on elevators not only to exit last, but to take their hats off if women were present.

What I don't get is why they wouldn't have their hats off ALREADY, since they were indoors before getting on the elevator. Of course, many men don't wear hats anymore anyway.

North or South, if you're last on a crowded elevator, you exit first. If you want to be extra polite about it, you reach back and hold the door for the others to exit the elevator.

If people have to squeeze into the person next to them to fit you standing aside so another person in the back can exit the elevator and then watch you exit it afterward on the same floor, you're being rude to everyone else on the elevator..

If there's plenty of room, you shouldn't be standing in front of the door anyway and can easily allow someone to exit before you.

In this case, there was no more room in the elevator.

[BTW, I grew up in the South.]

The escalator one made me think of this: WHY do people stop in doorways or the middle of aisles to talk? RUDE!

And in the middle of sidewalks, Daghain.

I refuse to sidle around these oblivious doorway/aisle hoggers and go right up to them with a big insincere smile and say "EXCUSE ME PLEASE!" in an overly friendly way.

They're often not pleased about being made to move but I'm so "pleasant" about it there's no objection for them to make.