"Inconsiderate Shitbag" Wouldn't Fit
There was some parking fun on Sunday afternoon on my street.
A Prius driver parked about one inch from my car and about three inches from the car behind them. Had I needed to leave, it would have been really hard to do, as the car in front of me had parked pretty close (but not terribly so) as well.
I'm pretty sure the bolt on the Prius' license plate left a scrape along my back bumper. (It was at the same level as their bolts.) But there are other scrapes, from previous inconsiderate shitbags, and I didn't witness them doing it, so I can't actually prove it came from them.
Not wanting to let them get away with their rudeness entirely unremarked upon, I left them a purple Post-It note on their windshield, "When there's no room to park, DON'T PARK HERE."
This, I hope, will also have the effect of warning them, "When you park like this, people long to key your car. Consider yourself lucky that my ethics don't allow this."
The car in front of me left while I was posting the note, so I got my keys and moved my car forward a bit, and then got mad again and again pulled out my purple pad.
My first choice of message was "I am an inconsiderate shitbag" -- better sound -- but, sadly, only so many letters fit readably across a Post-It note, which I tucked under the little lip on the trunk of their Prius.
Here's hoping they don't put anything in their trunk on their way out of my neighborhood!
I'm indifferent to a couple of scrapes here and there. It's all part of living in the big city. Of course, my car is 16 years old (and still going strong), so I can afford to be relaxed about it.
Ltw at January 30, 2013 3:55 AM
You're doing it wrong, sweetheart.
I owned a taxi for several years. An occasional lazy person would park at a taxi stand, leaving the drivers with nowhere to park.
They ignored the signs that read, "Taxi stand. Parking for taxis only."
In every case, we let the air out of their tires. I did it myself more than once. Then they would find several notes on their windshields, always reading something like, "This is clearly marked as a taxi stand. Enjoy the flat tires."
Bob Wallace at January 30, 2013 5:07 AM
They got their car in a space with 4 inches to spare, parallel? That's got to be some kind of record. I think I'd have to applaud their abilities.
Slapping curse words where a lot of people are going to see them, amny of whom will be offended, doesn't seem the appropriate response here. It seems Jr High like. You got your point across with the first note.
momof4 at January 30, 2013 5:54 AM
Yeah, a skilled parallel parking job in Southern California? Sounds like ground for a medal. It makes me think of Clueless, when Cher justifies not learning to parallel park: "Everywhere you go has valet."
Astra at January 30, 2013 6:16 AM
A year or so ago, I started carrying the printed "parking tickets" that can be downloaded at youparklikeanasshole.com. Sadly, I've had multiple opportunities to use them.
MikeInRealLife at January 30, 2013 7:16 AM
They got their car in a space with 4 inches to spare, parallel?
It only counts if you get in without scraping my car. And get out without doing it. I'm almost positive they did scrape it, but almost positive isn't like the time when the lady parked on top of my bumper. I sent the photographs of her car parked that way and the scrapes after she pulled out to her insurance company. It took them very little time to tell me they'd be paying for the damage.
And I put the note on the back because the front one wasn't shaming. Shame has that little extra kick -- both in deterring bad behavior and making the one who's been shat on feel a little better.
Amy Alkon at January 30, 2013 7:18 AM
I don't understand why people feel compelled to park in the closest spot they can find, even if it's a pain in the ass to get in and out of. Maybe I could understand if they're handicapped, but there are usually special spaces reserved for the handicapped, so this driver probably wasn't. I'm 40 weeks pregnant and I still park at the back of the lot or a few blocks away from my destination to make getting in and out of spot easier.
MonicaP at January 30, 2013 8:10 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/01/30/inconsiderate_s.html#comment-3586753">comment from MonicaPI'm with you, MonicaP. This wasn't the last parking space in my neighborhood on Sunday. They might've needed to walk a block to park without scraping my car.
Amy Alkon at January 30, 2013 8:29 AM
Leaving a note calling someone a "shitbag" strikes me as classless and juvenile.
A note stating the fact that they dinged your bumper would have sufficed. You would have taken the high road and come off looking better for it.
Cars or pirates at January 30, 2013 11:18 AM
(Pssst Amy— It's only Canada, but still.)
> Leaving a note calling someone a "shitbag"
> strikes me as classless and juvenile.
What's weird is that people who're "classy" never worry about "class," whether in the Punjabi or Sinatra senses... The word is reserved for education.
Izzinat sumpin'?
(PS— I think snotty notes are silly too, but entirely harmless, and perhaps gently corrective. If this is Amy's most aggressive indulgence in the public sphere, you should thank your lucky stars.)
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at January 30, 2013 2:11 PM
They park that way in Brazil.
JD at January 30, 2013 5:40 PM
RE Jerk Hit and Runners: My 2004 Subaru has 215k miles on it, but I like not having a payment and don't want to get a new one yet. This past year, my high mileage but decent looking car has been hit multiple times while parked. My driver side front doors and all four fenders are crunched and scratched, and my passenger side mirror is dangling. Nobody has ever left me a note.
RE Post-Its: This reminded me of Valentine's Day last leary. I drove past a parked car that had been decorated with yellow post-its in the shapes of hearts and swirls.
Meloni at January 30, 2013 6:53 PM
My wife's cousin got rear-ended while parked once, by an inconsiderate shitbag who then drove off, leaving the back of her vehicle all bashed in. When she came out and found it, she discovered (in a delicious moment of poetic justice) that the shitbag's license plate had left a perfect indented impression in her rear bumper, and the cops pulled the number and nailed the shitbag for leaving the scene of an accident. :) Sometimes karma's a bitch.
Grey Ghost at January 31, 2013 7:56 AM
I love those stories... A coworker told an almost identical one on Tuesday. Those rubbery bumpers have important evidentiary powers. Soon enough we'll have cameras built into to the cars anyway.
Crid [CridComment at Gmail] at January 31, 2013 8:33 AM
On a somewhat related note in the 'bad parking' vein: I was one of those inconsiderate shitbags once, albeit inadvertently.
I stayed with friends who live in one of those apartment buildings with a gated street level parking garage. Their unit came with 2 parking spaces, one of which was an extra space that they didn't need. I was allowed to park in the extra during my stay.
The parking garage never had lights on during the day and the glare from the light through the gates made it hard to see while inside. You drove into a dark garage from a sunny street and you were temporarily blind while your eyes tried to adjust to the light levels. On day 3 during my stay, I accidentally parked in the wrong extra spot. The next morning, I found an angry note on my windshield letting me know that I was in someone else's space and that I would be towed if it happened again.
I felt really bad. I left a note where the parking spot owner could see apologizing and owning up to it being an honest mistake. I think they found the note, as it was no longer up where I'd left it. I'm pretty thankful I never got towed. It would have been a PITA trying to get my car out of impound while I was in a different city.
But, yeah, I was that asshole in someone's spot that day they came home from work.
prawn toe at January 31, 2013 11:29 AM
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