"Inconsiderate Shitbag" Wouldn't Fit
There was some parking fun on Sunday afternoon on my street.
A Prius driver parked about one inch from my car and about three inches from the car behind them. Had I needed to leave, it would have been really hard to do, as the car in front of me had parked pretty close (but not terribly so) as well.
I'm pretty sure the bolt on the Prius' license plate left a scrape along my back bumper. (It was at the same level as their bolts.) But there are other scrapes, from previous inconsiderate shitbags, and I didn't witness them doing it, so I can't actually prove it came from them.
Not wanting to let them get away with their rudeness entirely unremarked upon, I left them a purple Post-It note on their windshield, "When there's no room to park, DON'T PARK HERE."
This, I hope, will also have the effect of warning them, "When you park like this, people long to key your car. Consider yourself lucky that my ethics don't allow this."
The car in front of me left while I was posting the note, so I got my keys and moved my car forward a bit, and then got mad again and again pulled out my purple pad.
My first choice of message was "I am an inconsiderate shitbag" -- better sound -- but, sadly, only so many letters fit readably across a Post-It note, which I tucked under the little lip on the trunk of their Prius.
Here's hoping they don't put anything in their trunk on their way out of my neighborhood!