TSA's Arbitrary Policies Can Be Fun!
Try the TSA Statement Generator! Here's mine:
I found this when Lisa Simeone at TSA News cross-posted a blog item from the creator of the Statement Generator, Taking Sense Away:
Almost any TSA screener will tell you (in hushed tones, at least) that one of the more frustrating aspects of the day-to-day rigmarole is having to field questions from smart passengers who demand to know what kind of sense this or that TSA policy makes.
Trying to explain to a little old man, for instance, why the tiny blade on his Leatherman multi-tool warrants the entire multi-tool being confiscated, while, right next to him, a 300-pound muscle-bound man fresh out of prison gets to keep his pair of scissors, a lighter, his toothbrush, along with all the other shank-making tools he'd just spent 10 years mastering in the penitentiary.
Then you have TSA headquarters, telling the public one minute that anyone could be a threat at the airport, regardless of age, size, shape, color, or creed-- even kids, because "terrorists are not above using children" to carry out attacks (which was why kids had to get inside full body radiation scanners for the first year of the backscatter machines, we were told)-- and the next minute saying that people who even appear to be sort of young will no longer be touched. (The next thing you know, the TSA will claim the existence of intelligence regarding a team of pygmy ninjas plotting to exploit the TSA's 12-and-under policy in order to rain terror from the skies-- kids will be asked to spend 5 minutes with a Child-Certified Behavior Detection Officer at the new TSA Checkpoint Playpen™.)
Then we went from all passengers having to receive equal screening--there was no telling what form a terrorist could take, after all--to an elite stratum of society being largely excused from security theater, providing they had given enough money to the airlines. Because hey, it's not like there's any possibility that a perfectly upstanding frequent-flying U.S. citizen with a clean skin could suddenly snap and decide that he wanted to, oh, say, fly a plane into a building, or anything.
Terrorists don't "snap." It's called Jihad -- slaughtering nonbelievers in Allah -- and it's called for by Islam. The way to find them is with targeted intelligence work by trained intelligence officers, not by searching granny's hoohoo and everyone else's right before they board planes.