Goddammit!

Blend in.

Tailoring.

Thanks for the first link Crid abut the first rule. It took me about 5 seconds to burst out laughing.

The war on "too much salt" is revving up. But you should be OK - seems the REALLY big sources are... bread and rolls!
http://wtop.com/267/3222867/First-Soda-Now-Salt
"... and not necessarily the foods they'd imagine: Bread and rolls are the No. 1 source."

OMFG. I have a 14-year old nephew. He's had a rough upbringing. Without boring you with details, my sister is definitely not in the running for mother of the year, and hard to believe it, but his (willingly not present)father is worse.

He lived with me for nearly a year, but it was a daily struggle and his paternal grandmother is very enabling of his behaviors (he has TONS of wonderful qualities, but he also has behavior issues). She eventually flew him back because she thought she could do better. As usual, she had him about a week and sent him back home to his mom.

So here's my news. I've been trying to get on his FB page, because nobody monitors him and I am the perpetually worried aunt. I was going to create a fake profile, but about a week ago he accepted my request! Also, he calls intermittently to chat for a few minutes. Whenever we say goodbye, I always tell him I love him, but he doesn't respond (I don't expect him to, I just want him to know he's loved). Today he called out of the blue to chat, and as usual I said I love you. He said I LOVE YOU TOO! I'm just excited. That's all.

Defensive Gun Use, updated as necessary. (Apparently several times a day.)

Years later, some great jokes on Letterman.

REALLY blend in.

February's (presumptive) contender, Tweet of the Year.