Mothering-Turned-Smothering -- Society-Wide
Lenore Skenazy, in a guest essay spot at Cato, writes about how insane things have gotten in overprotecting kids:
How far has society gone in dreaming up new dangers to protect our children from? Until you take a step back and look at all the new laws and regulations, you probably have no idea. So to start out, let's test your Child Safety IQ. Which of the following did NOT happen this past year?(A.) Local licensing authorities outlawed soap in pre-school bathrooms for fear that children might suddenly start drinking it. Now kids must come out and ask an adult to squirt some soap in their hands.
(B.) Unaccompanied children under age 12 were banned from the Boulder, CO, library, lest they encounter "hazards such as stairs, elevators, doors, furniture...and other library patrons."
(C.)The Consumer Product Safety Commission announced a recall of certain fleece hoodies sold at Target because of lead paint on the zipper, which presumably could raise blood lead levels if the zippers are eaten.
(D.) Children under age 18 were prohibited from gathering on the streets of Tucson, AZ, for fear they might "talk, play or laugh" in groups, which could lead to bullying.
(E.) A New Canaan, CT, mom was charged with "risk of injury to a minor," for letting her 13-year-old babysit the three younger children at home for an hour while the mom went to church.
(F.) A Tennessee mother was thrown in jail for letting her kids, aged 8 and 5, go to the park without her, a block and half away from home.
And the answer is (D.) -- all the rest actually happened. Lenore explains:
The message to parents? The government is better at raising your kids than you are. The message to kids? You are weak little babies. The government will swaddle you in safety.
How quickly we've become a nation of seriously pathetic wimps.
via @WalterOlson
The Boulder, CO library is a popular hangout for the city's homeless, especially in winter. They can't say that they don't want homeless around their children out loud so it becomes "other library patrons." Poor Boulder, caught between political correctness and protecting the children.
Astra at March 11, 2013 7:02 AM
When I was 13, I was the most popular babysitter in the neighborhood, with both kids and parents. I could make $15 - $20 in one weekend, and often did, in addition to my paper route money. I got my own phone (this was in the early 70s, kids, it was a land line), and paid for it every month, a whopping $15 for a light blue, lighted dial princess phone. All mine! Also, my light blue sting ray bike was what I rode to deliver the paper. No sissy bar for me, and I didn't use a basket, I had a canvas bag that went over my shoulder. Actually, it was a route I shared with my older brother, and then we handed it down to our younger brothers once we got into high school and had real jobs. I worked as a waitress (age 15) and Brother was a machinist. Those were the days!
Now, good luck finding a kid who delivers papers! All the routes were taken over by older people, in cars, out at 3 a.m. and driving all over kingdom come. It's crazy. But I guess they have to make money somehow.
Flynne at March 11, 2013 8:24 AM
Whooops! Second link shoulda been this.
Flynne at March 11, 2013 8:26 AM
I'm glad I don't have kids. I'd raise my kids the same way I was raised - which my friends' parents and my mom's siblings thought was sometimes too restrictive but by today's standards would be considered neglectful. From first grade, I walked to and from school alone or with other kids, and in the afternoon I'd fix a snack, do my homework, then go outside and play until my parents got home and it was time for dinner. There were stay at home moms and grandmothers among our neighbors, and my parents knew them well, so there was always an adult nearby in case of emergency. There was never an emergency.
I had an early curfew, wasn't allowed to wear makeup until I was 16, my parents insisted on meeting my friends (and their parents if they were supervising something like a sleepover), etc. But until that curfew time, I was out running around with friends, playing hockey (in the street!), going to carnivals (interacting with carnies!), to the mall (there were boys there!), and even sometimes the library (hobos!), all without parental supervision.
The Jingoist at March 11, 2013 8:43 AM
Then Boulder City Council needs to deal with the homeless problem and stop interfering in the lives of the children who want and need the services of the Library. Excuses Do Not cut it.
This may seem ridiculous and somewhat funny to some but it is frightening to me. The legal age to leave a child home is 12 here in CO and I have been leaving my boys with an older brother since the oldest became that. This gov't intervention with soap and stairs and bullying and curfews and biting one's food into abstract shapes MUST STOP. If it doesn't folks, we are all in more trouble than any of you can imagine.
Julie at March 11, 2013 8:45 AM
Just to add...I am a stay at home single mom. When I say I leave my boys, I don't mean for extended periods of time. I mean to go to the grocery or to dinner with friends once in a while and close to home and back by 10. My oldest is now 16 and very responsible. Their father and I have made a concerted effort to make all four very independent and self reliant. I am not raising boys, I am raising men.
Julie at March 11, 2013 8:57 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/03/11/mothering-turne.html#comment-3638787">comment from JulieI also babysat at 13 -- for other kids -- and babysat my sisters a few years before that. I was a responsible kid, and I knew how to dial the fire dept. or poison control. Not that we'd ever experiment by eating anything poisonous. My mother would have killed us.
Amy Alkon at March 11, 2013 9:12 AM
I was babysitting by 11. I had been staying home alone with my sister since I was 9. We turned out fine. We also lived on a military base where everyone looked out for each other's kids so maybe it made a difference there. We never lived in "civilian" neighborhoods until I was 13 where got my first real after school job as a part time admin for a real estate company. My parents made a lot of mistakes, for sure, but one thing I'll always be grateful for was for practically forcing me to earn my own money at a young age. It taught me the value of a dollar early on and because of that, when I was living on my own at 17, I was able to take care of myself. Kids these days can't even wipe their own asses without supervision.
Sabrina at March 11, 2013 9:27 AM
Time for another segment of are we evolving backwards Amy. My Mom and Dad always left my big sister in charge, starting about oh, age seven (for her, I was five). My big brother was two years older than her but my parents deemed her more responsible. But she did have support, back in the day we had neighborhoods.
Dave B at March 11, 2013 10:03 AM
Interestingly, I'm not upset about the lead zippers. I have noticed my kids (6 & 3), and lots of their friends, seem to always put zippers in their mouths. Not that I'd freak out over it, but that one at least, as a parent, seems like maybe not entirely & completely absurd.
I have had a parent (of grown children) practically accuse me of neglect because I would - sit on the front steps while my kid (only one at the time) was asleep... in his crib! (note: I can react a whole lot faster from outside & awake than asleep and 2 inches away).
There are no laws here about when a child can be left alone, but there are "guidelines." I'd heard other moms say it was the law, but I only found guidelines when I searched online. So, I asked a cop point-blank & got confirmation - guidelines only. I had one mom freak out when she found out it wasn't illegal based on some government's arbitrary age because "then you have to use judgement and look how bad some people's judgement is!" (and last I checked, government isn't made of cyborgs).
I could rant more, but I have to go help the 6-year-old spell big words for the story he's writing (he really should ask somebody who can spell, but he's stuck with me).
Shannon M. Howell at March 11, 2013 4:33 PM
The Boulder, CO library is a popular hangout for the city's homeless, especially in winter. They can't say that they don't want homeless around their children out loud so it becomes "other library patrons." Poor Boulder, caught between political correctness and protecting the children.
Posted by: Astra at March 11, 2013 7:02 AM
___________________________
I wouldn't be surprised if there were more to it. Namely, the kids are probably behaving badly and the library staff are afraid of the parental reactions if they complain - and they're afraid to have cameras in the library for the same reason! So, they make it sound as if this is for the KIDS' sake when it's really for the library's sake.
lenona at March 11, 2013 4:44 PM
The thing about the library probably has less to do with the homeless people bothering the kids and more to do with the fact that people dump their kids in the library and treat it like free babysitting. I read a book a couple years ago about all the crap that goes on in your average public library and unsupervised children were one of the biggest complaints they had.
Sheep mommy at March 11, 2013 7:19 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/03/11/mothering-turne.html#comment-3639251">comment from Sheep mommyMy mom dropped me off so I could pick out books to check out.
Amy Alkon at March 11, 2013 7:21 PM
The wussifying of America's youth is just the first step to total government control. After all, these helpless children are going to need someone to tell them what to do when mommy and daddy are gone.
Daghain at March 11, 2013 7:25 PM
This is the sign the sheeple are taking over. You should never have to ask permission to do anything from the government. You should be able to do what you want, without infringing on others. If there is a law you are breaking, the first thing you should do is challenge the constitutionality, before even pleading to the charges.
Jim P. at March 11, 2013 8:38 PM
Jim P.
While I agree with you, Socrates had a point in that, if you choose to live someplace, you also choose to live by their rules. Knowing that some places have laws on this, when I moved here I decided I should check - so at least I'd know if I were to be breaking a law.
This, however, points out another problem. Laws have gotten so out of hand that you can't avoid breaking them by just being reasonable - or even cautious.
My favorite "idiot law" is what I call the "masking tape industry law." That is (and I believe most states have this one) the one where preschools and/or daycare centers must make sure a child has a "fresh" lunch every day.
So, if one comes in from home, they have to "make sure it's fresh." This is not only nebulous, but kinda weird in some cases(that apple Suzie didn't touch on Monday is now somehow "bad" because it came in again on Tuesday). Anyway, this puts an onerous and highly subjective standard on the preschools & daycare centers, so, in a CYA move, it is considered fine as long as the lunch as a (current) date on it - usually done in masking tape.
Let's just say one can switch out a piece of masking tape for a new one and not touch the contents of the lunch box!
Shannon M. Howell at March 12, 2013 4:27 AM
I won't disagree with you either, but sometimes you need to put the "opposition" person on notice that they have a choice to starve their charges or get real.
Do it repeatedly -- then the "school" has a choice to deal with reality, or go along, or kick out the child, etc. they will be constitutionally wrong.
I bet that if you contact F.I.R.E., ij.org, or even the ACLU they would at least give you a list of local resources that will take up your case, nominally pro bono.
Unless someone stands up -- no one gains liberty anymore. We have a socialist government. We need to stop it.
Jim P. at March 12, 2013 11:04 PM
I don't think this is about sheeple or bubble-wrapping our kids as much as fear of lawsuits.
wtf at March 14, 2013 11:50 AM
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