The Other Double Standard
Smart Cathy Young piece in reason,"Obama's Sexist Double Standard: What the Kamala Harris controversy reveals about about sexism and the left":
This looks like startlingly neo-Victorian paternalism: mild suggestive remarks, not directed at an individual woman or at women in general, are presumed so offensive to women as to warrant swift retribution. Of course, no one who has worked in a mixed-sex environment seriously believes that women don't make sexual jokes or comments in work settings. But that's where the double standard comes in: unlike the Victorian lady, the modern feminist who demands such protections needn't shun bawdy humor herself. Richards has made male anatomy jokes on her Twitter feed, which she uses professionally. When men make them, though, it's apparently a female-excluding assertion of male privilege.The logic here is similar to that of the outcry over Obama's "gaffe": since our culture has a history of demeaning women by reducing them to sex objects, the slightest whiff of sexuality or sexual speech in the workplace disempowers women and creates a hostile environment. But this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of female fragility: women cannot be accepted as equals if their special sensitivities require constant protection--whether those sensitivities are seen as the product of nature or culture. What's more, taboos and double standards inevitably invite backlash.
Both of these much-ados-about-nothing also reinforce the worst stereotypes of feminists: as humorless, speech-policing puritans intent on keeping men on a tight leash. Feminists may sneer at men who think it's their sacred right to tell penis jokes in a professional environment; but how many women would be pleased to find themselves pilloried for "inappropriate" banter within the earshot of an offended male? When did stripping the workplace of all personal, friendly, even frivolous interaction--particularly in an age of increasing work-life overlap--become progressive?
A hundred years ago, anarchist feminist Emma Goldman famously said that she did not want to be part of any revolution that would not allow dancing. Likewise, not only men but quite a few women women want no part of a feminist revolution if it bans innocent compliments and silly off-color jokes.
Men give each other shit. If you can't fit in -- if you're too uncomfortable in a world where that happens, there are professions where teasing and questionable language are off-limits: the old familiar ladies' ghetto of schoolteaching, for example.
More and more, I see what Young describes -- women with foul mouths (and Twitter feeds) who turn into The Language Police over the slightest, maybe-questionable remark made by a man.
Can't we all find our funny bone about these things?
You really aren't equal if you need humor cops.
...but, but, I have a right to never be offended! whine...
At least Richards got what she deserved: her employer had the guts to stand up and say "that's not the image we want to project; you're fired". That really was courageous: She both female and black, meaning they have to expect an EEO lawsuit no matter how egregious her behavior was.
a_random_guy at April 14, 2013 10:58 PM
The only place I've seen mention of the Obama compliment gaffe is here.
NicoleK at April 14, 2013 11:04 PM
it is for this reason that you also cannot comment on a woman's appearance, positively or elsewise. How she reacts defines if you are right or wrong, and EVEN IF she takes it the right way, OTHER women can be annoyed or upset on her behalf, and get you in trouble...
tho noticing new shoes, seems to be safe, and a way to compliment overall without anyone getting wrapped around an axle.
being able to compliment team-mates helps with the cohesion of your team, even if it's wondering if the new kid is walking yet, or how the BBQ over the weekend went... sometimes that kind of thing isn't as easy unless you know a woman quite well. But notice interesting shoes? Seems to work.
SwissArmyD at April 15, 2013 12:01 AM
You really aren't equal if you need humor cops.
You're superior if humor cops do your bidding.
dee nile at April 15, 2013 4:10 AM
A young male colleague filed a sexual harassment complaint against my MIL because he happened to overhear her joke about menopause with another woman. I can't tell whether this is a feminist victory or not.
Sosij at April 15, 2013 5:29 AM
Actually, I've often wondered about thoses that get "upset" about such oomments . . .
Is it jealousy on their part? The comments weren't made about them? "It is always the pretty bitches that get the guys' attention!" they would say.
Charles at April 15, 2013 5:45 AM
Soslj, good for your colleague! I am all for hoisting as many feminists as possible on their own petard. Maybe after a few thousand of them get fired for genitalia-related jokes, they'll decide they don't much care for having a Language Stasi at every company.
Hiram J Goldstein II (@HiramJGoldstein) at April 15, 2013 7:19 AM
Sosij with your MIL, sounds like ti might be a blacknight at work.
http://alphagameplan.blogspot.kr/2013/03/black-knights.html
Hope it works!
John Paulson at April 15, 2013 7:39 AM
Women are so programmed to believe that they have it bad that they are almost blind to all the freedoms and passes they get. That's how a woman can happily nickname herself "Bobbitt" and keep a position where she can hurt men, whereas no man would ever get away with nicknaming himself "ripper" and keep his job in the family court system.
It's like a star player in the Lakers who expects to manhandles the other team on the defensive end yet shoot free throws every time he misses on the offense end... while saying the rules are applied fairly.
Trust at April 15, 2013 8:14 AM
The Aussies are now boycotting Tracy Morgan. According to one Melinda Tankard Reist, who runs women's rights group Collective Shout, his performance included "... Morgan's misogynist hate speech."
And for the record, while I was very big on trying to break the "glass ceiling" (in Pop Warner football, among other places), I am well aware of just how good I do have it, and it makes me ill that so-called "enlightened" women are still so hell-bent on finding men so unworthy and unacceptable. Boggles my mind, it does.
Flynne at April 15, 2013 8:35 AM
Adira Richards got her ass handed to her..Im a woman and I absolutely delighted in seeing that. Its about time.
Im tired of ugly, angry man hating women not being able to deal with the fact that men are men. And women are women. I worked in sales mny years ago with all men and LOTS of off color, and downright dirty jokes were made. I was told in no uncertain terms- deal with it, or take your ball and bat and go home. I dealt with it, and in turn earned the respect of my male peers, to the point that they stopped making those types of jokes because they had so much respect for me. Even if they didnt, I ignored them, and went about my business, and didnt threaten to expose their private conversations a la Richards.
What these feminazis know, deep down- is that 40 years of b.s. privilege at the expense of men, is going to end. SOON. They wont be so high and mighty when they really NEED a man for something, which seems to be the only thing they give a damn about anyway.
jandy at April 15, 2013 9:58 AM
They wont be so high and mighty when they really NEED a man for something
Yeah, and those fish better be grateful for the bicycles too.
dee nile at April 15, 2013 11:09 AM
I lead the HR function for a small company in a turnaround situation. Just last week I counseled my boss (president) on not excusing the two women on the leadership team from the room when he needs to have a difficult conversation and will be using profanity.
His early teaching on courtesy is in competition with his (professional) need not to protect the women on his leadership team from harsh words. He can't make this turnaround happen if he's hesitant to hold everyone to the standard and deliver a deserved ass-chewing for a missed target.
Women who work in a challenging business situation have to deal with the tough part of it as well as the financial rewards, just as men have been taught to do for decades. It's not easy and it's not always pleasant.
Tasha at April 16, 2013 6:15 PM
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