I've had a couple of guys ask me to not wear a certain dress or blouse, but I've never been told to "dress sexier". If anything, I was told to "dial it back a little"!

(I've got some serious cleavage.)

I've always had the opposite problem. I never dressed skank, but I had a good body and showed it. Eventually I got tired of DH acting the ass, like I was out prowling for his replacement with him next to me, so I stopped.

Maybe she's had an issue with one of his friends coming on to her?

Momof4 might have nailed it. I had a friend who did that and when I asked her why, she said she didn't want to put up with her BF's jealousy; she said he was easier to deal with, when they were out and about, if his friends weren't hitting on her. She liked to dress to the nines but felt it was disrespecting him, what with his buddies hanging all over her. I told her it was his buddies who were doing the disrespecting, but she decided to dress down so he wouldn't get all pissy. Go figure.

I think women don't understand how competitive men are and how much it means to them to feel like they're the envy of other guys, if just a little.

That might be true for most guys, but it's not for me. It's not that I've disliked other guys (apparently) envying me, when I've been with women who were very attractive and sexy. In fact, I kinda enjoyed the what's-he-got-in-order-to-be-with-a-woman-like-that looks. But it's not something that's important to me, and I've never asked a woman to dress sexier so I could get off on that envy.

I think this particular girl overcorrected before there was a problem.

Maybe she had a problem with a previous guy. Maybe Mr. Preeve got jealous when she dressed sexy and other guys paid attention to her so she's assuming this new guy will act the same way.

Is the girl super-frumped out, or just not quite as sexy as he would like? I knew a guy who felt uncomfortable because his wife would go out with him to visit friends wearing over-sized holey sweats and t-shirts.

If she needs just a little help and isn't actually going out in a potato sack, he could pick her up a few things that he likes in her size, and mention that he thinks they would look great on her.

I got my ex-GF to upgrade from frumpy to hottie with very little argument.

She wasn't bad to start with, but started from a position that she went from her junior year of high school to pregnant graduate (AP classes) at 18 years old and married to divorced mother of three all in eight or so years.

There was no going out and partying or going through the adult dating process.

When we got together her business attire was very conservative; kitten heels or clunky shoes; mid-calf skirts and mostly pants; shirts were always up by her neck, underwear was granny panties and foam bras (usually mismatched).

I got her to 3-4 inch stilettos, about knee length or shorter skirts, some shirts that displayed more of her assets and some very sexy and lacy matching underwear.

I got her to upgrade with some direct suggestion, judicious gift giving, and numerous shopping trips. ;-)

She is now happily married to someone else, and I am happy for her.

BF might want to ask if any of his friends put her in an awkward position. As someone pointed out above, even a quiet leer can be enough to send a woman reaching for cover depending on her past experiences.

At the very least, asking gently gives BF a constructive and caring way to broach the subject.

It's not easy to get the right balance. I was raised to dress slightly frumpy - no tight shirts or belts. I think my mom wanted to hide my figure. At 5'6 inches, I wore a 30DD bra and had a 21 1/2 inch waist with fuller hips. Of course, she may have been trying to hide my (huge, embarrassing - to her - and thus me at the time) rear end.

Now I'm quite a bit bigger all over. I wear a 34 DDD. My husband always wants me to go braless. I often do for him, but it kind of freaks me out.

This is going to depend on the individuals and their friends.

I have distinct memory of a co-worker/friend and his wife. His wife was this chubby little Korean woman with really huge breasts and she wore extremely revealing tops when we all went out. This guy wanted the rest of to notice when you first met her...but then never look again and would get really annoyed with anyone he thought was.

I think it also depends on where you are at -- where I used to live Tee and jeans where fine for just about everything. Where I am at now is much more appearance orientated.

Weird my husband wants me LESS sexy in public. Cleavage is for home

I dress fairly well, but I am a bit of a pushover for comfort and practicality. It comes from my upbringing. My mother has always been a tomboy. She has NEVER worn makeup in her life, unless you count her aghast best friend hastily applying her own lipstick to my mom's face shortly before she walked down the aisle to marry my dad. And she was pretty controlling. She didn't realize for a long time that I, unlike her, might like to look feminine, and that that was okay. It took me ages to find my own look, and I still like to be relatively comfortable. I was not trained early to make those little sacrifices of comfort and ease for the sake of beauty, and a lot of things still seem like too much trouble to me, like super high heels. But I do manage to look sexy much of the time now. It's fun!

In my boyfriend's family, all the women dressed very feminine, and he himself modeled professionally for a few years. So he has been used to this whole other level of dressing for a long time. He often compliments my looks, and at times has encouraged me in a kind way to dress up a little more. Like when he suggested we take a shopping trip for some super sexy jeans for me. Believe me, I already had tight jeans, but he said while they were nice, he thought I should show off my lovely ass even more. So he made that tiny bit of criticism mostly flattering. I can't say I enjoyed all the looking and trying on, but I love the jeans we found and think of him whenever I wear them. And at one big event we went to, he simply told me he wanted me to look beautiful. I did my best, and his pleasure at the result made me feel so good! At a similar event a couple months later, he didn't even have to ask me. And he thanked me then for looking so beautiful, and I glowed again.

I guess it's worth noting that he LOVES when other men notice me, even flirt with me. And I love making him feel good. There's a way to make every little suggestion into a compliment, and to show true pleasure and appreciation at the result. I think that's the key.

I love my wife. But sometimes the phrase "but I'm comfortable" makes me want to check out the dating market for pudgy men over 50. It's like she doesn't care if I think she's attractive or not.

And if I ever get my time machine running, I'm going to go back in time and give free birth control for life to the parents of the guy who invented the dumpy sports bra.

ew, no, this is a landmine...

you can never tell how the reaction will be, nor what things will be in the longrun...

did she dress well enough to get YOU interested? Are you interested when you get to take it off? Then who cares in public.

The competition stuff is purely situational, and because of that, has too many variables, what works one time may not work the next.

And? Whatcha gonna do, when she decides to make over YOUR wardrobe, with stuff you wouldn't normally wear?

I have never been asked this by my husband or any previous boyfriends. I tend to dress up already and compared to my peer group (scientists) I'm practically wearing haute couture.

Speaking of a landmine, though: I had a colleague ask if I could give advice to pass on to his wife about how to dress more attractively. Let me see--your wife is the jealous type, you and I work together and travel to exotic locations for said work all the time, and you want me to tell her how she can improve her look based on my experience. I think I'll pass.

Some men like to show off their girl, but most of us don't care nearly as much as women want to think we do. IMO the competition is all girl-on-girl action. Van Morrison says it well: "All the girls walk by/Dressed up for each other."

I love my wife. But sometimes the phrase "but I'm comfortable" makes me want to check out the dating market for pudgy men over 50. It's like she doesn't care if I think she's attractive or not.

This. She is beautiful, but she doesn't really care if she shows it or not - not even to me. I'm pretty visual.