So, should a sperm donor have a legal or ethical obligation to his biological children?

And should people who raise children who are not biologically theirs, have no expectation of attention to their welfare at all after a lifetime of doing the expensive job of feeding clothing and educating a child?

I guess we should just warehouse children in a big government facility from birth so they get used to the idea of the only important relationship being the one between themselves, and the state.

Of course, I owe my parents. I can't speak to your feelings though I gather from your writing that you love your parents and believe that they raised you responsibly.

I owe mine for raising me and being there whenever I have needed them. Which, thankfully, has been very little since I left for the military over 30 years ago. I won't claim that everyone owes their parents because it is obvious that there are some horrific parents in the world. However for the majority, there is a debt that can't or won't ever be repaid but is owed.

I am having trouble distinguishing between the concept of "owing a debt" monetary or ethical, and a moral obligation.

Maybe you could enlighten me, as to what the precise difference is?

In my experience, obligations that are not somewhat reciprocal seldom work out well. The giver usually feels "exploited" and the recipient usually becomes an ungrateful bastard who thinks that the world in general owes him something because of his obvious " specialness "

To those who think that kids "owe" their parents, what if your parents were really terrible people who shouldn't have had kids in the first place?

I'm with Amy on this. Your kids did not ask for you to have them. You took it upon yourself. To suggest they owe is to suggest that you made children and thereby obligated them to you. I don't agree with this. You made the kids, therefore, you are obligated to them, and they don't owe you for fulfilling your obligation.

"I guess we should just warehouse children in a big government facility from birth so they get used to the idea of the only important relationship being the one between themselves, and the state."

You went off on a weird tangent here.......

"However for the majority, there is a debt that can't or won't ever be repaid but is owed."

There is no debt, but perhaps there is a PERSONAL moral obligation of your choosing. I think this is what is seriously wrong with the world, we fell we "owe" our parents part of our lives and many people, can't move culturally forward. I.E. "I can't be gay because it would shame my parents." Fortunately the U.S. seems to be the exception to the whole worship your parents thing, which is why it's such a great country.

"I am having trouble distinguishing between the concept of "owing a debt" monetary or ethical, and a moral obligation."

Look I had REALLY bad parents and it took alot of talks with Amy (thank you btw) and my therapist to come to terms with the fact.
I owe them no debt, and if I had a child and despite the fact that I was a good parent I dont want my children to feel they owe me anything. They dont.

Did you pick your parents out, in your most vulnerable of times (childhood) or was it the luck of the dice? Did you choose to be born in the same manner your parents choose to have children?

My therapist told me that if I ever want to take care of my parents when they are elderly I should not feel I owe them a debt, but instead decide whether for me it is a personal moral obligation. I can ignore them without feeling guilty, and I can take care of them without feeling I'm repaying anything.

Think of it like this, do you and your friend owe each other debts when you come through, or do you simply acting positively & caring because that is how you "ARE".

If your parents were good parents and their demands are unreasonable, but you owe them a "debt", when you do draw the line? You shouldn't carry the notion in relationships you owe debts, because there are things that can never be looked at in such terms, or can be ever repaid. Instead you should look at your own morality and decide the best course of action for things that can never be put in "I owe you" "You owe me".

I think I owe my parents. I owe it to them to be a good and productive person and not squander the resources they spent on raising me. I also owe it to them to make sure their old age is as comfortable as it can be without sacrificing their grandchildrens' future. They were good parents and regardless of that, I'm quite happy with the life I have.

I owe my parents, they can expect my love and help and in fact they should feel free to take it for granted.

I owe my mother, my father not so much. To this day I dont think he understands how close I came to killing him and his wife while they slept.

"So, should a sperm donor have a legal or ethical obligation to his biological children?"

Yes. And the same is true for egg donors and people who donate fertilized eggs so that they can be implanted and brought to term as other people's children.

NicoleK: "...[my parents] can expect my love and help and in fact they should feel free to take it for granted.

I know a lot of people (including myself) whose parents could have done a whole lot less for them and still be considered wonderful parents. Almost all of them would say the same thing NicoleK said.

Through my work I've met a lot of kids whose parents I would kill with my own hands if I thought I could get away with it:

... like a boy whose mother started feeding him whiskey when he was an infant, and now at 17 he's an alcoholic;
... a 16 year old heroin addict whose mother is his drug dealer, whom he pays with money he gets by stealing and hooking;
... a 15 year old girl who was 12 when her heroin addict mother committed suicide at a place and time when she had to know her little girl would be the one to find her dead;
... a little girl who was her father's sex toy until she was 8 years old and another drug dealer beat him to death, unfortunately in front of her; then her mother started pimping her out for drugs until she ran away at age 11; this little girl committed suicide when she was 14.

Many parents are truly worthy of their children's love and gratitude; and some deserve something a lot worse than I'm able to think up.

Why not make the same argument most of us use for respect. It's something that is earned, not an automatic privelege.
Some people think their position commands respect, and I would argue that you earn respect by your actions and how you treat those around you.
In this case one might say being a parent earns you the concerns of your children, but I would posit that those concerns and respect need to be earned.

So there is really no one-size-fits-all rule either way.

Some people think their position commands respect, and I would argue that you earn respect by your actions and how you treat those around you.

Absolutely agree, and yes, I think this applies to the parent/child relationship as well. In the examples KenR cited, there was no respect given or taught to those unfortunate children, and it would seem their parents never learned any either.

Many parents are truly worthy of their children's love and gratitude;

Mine are, and they will have that until they day they die. I only hope I can say the same for my girls; but I think I'm good there, too.

Lujlp: check out "Sex, Murder, and the Meaning of Life" by Douglas T. Kenrick. Think you'll like it.

"There is no debt, but perhaps there is a PERSONAL moral obligation of your choosing. "

That's a great way of putting it. I hate this whole current idea that a person "deserves" respect simply for passing a milestone that was inevitable, or almost so -- for instance, a birthday. For most people, it takes no particular skill to reproduce. It's what they do afterwards that makes the difference, and determines whether there is a moral obligation. People who had awful parents do not owe their parents anything.