Here's Some Ugly: It's "Racist" To Be Mad Somebody Hit Your Neighbor's Car
Late last night, some chickie trying to park who couldn't drive or wasn't that interested in doing it all that well hits my neighbor's bumper -- hard enough that it made a sound -- and I hear this and come out. I climb up on my fence and look over.
I then see her hit it again, more lightly, apparently, since I didn't hear it the second time. When she gets out of her car, I tell her, over my fence, that I'm going to take her plate number and give it to my neighbor she hit in case her car turns out to be damaged in daylight.
Well, some guy comes from across the street (where he was apparently waiting for her, probably so they could go to the bar) and starts yelling at me for being "racist."
Racist? Because I was mad somebody hit a car? Is there a race involved in that? What race, the race car bumpers are?
Then this creep refers to me as "white lady!" I couldn't tell what race he was, but I'm assuming from his calling me "racist" and "white lady" that he must have been black...probably light-skinned black, because he just looked like a kind of short asshole in hipsternerd glasses to me. Of indeterminate color. Beige, at best.
Meanwhile, it's this guy who's turning this into anything about race. But calling me "racist" while doing it.
The car-hitting woman was had long brown straight hair and skin that didn't look black but maybe she was a light-skinned black woman. Frankly, until the guy said something, I would have told you she was white -- but only if somebody said, "Do you remember the skin color of the woman?"
What kind of creepy piece of trash turns your being upset at somebody bumping a car into a something about race?
The deal is this: I don't care what color you are if you do damage to cars in my neighborhood. If you damage a car and I can be a conduit to you paying green to the neighbor who owns it, I will.
I still can't tell you what color these people were. Actually, yes I can -- brown -- the color of assholes.
Interesting. Was it very early in the morning or late in the evening when this happened? Or perhaps the light was coming from behind them, so you couldn't see them very well.
It's not that I'm doubting that you had trouble seeing what race they were. And in your place, I'm sure I'd have the same trouble. I'm just wondering about the lighting conditions.
And why should you be yelled at for any reason? You shouldn't even have to take their plate number, because the driver should put a note on the windshield with her name and number because she hit a car.
Remember that really cranky old man who hit your new car who was captured on video. When I read about it on your blog (which you retold for "I See Rude People"), I was both amused and bemused at how he got mad at you because you took him to court to make him pay for it.
"How dare she expect me to pay for her car that I crashed into? Why, any reasonable person would just let it go and pay for it themselves!"
Not!
Apparently, it's okay to damage other people's property and get away with it.
I wonder what this irate gentleman's (and I use the term loosely) expectation would be if someone hit his car. Would he have found it acceptable if a friend of his had said, "I saw someone hit your car just now?"
"Oh, my God! What was the license plate number?"
"Oh, I didn't get that. I didn't want to be racist about it."
Patrick at September 28, 2013 3:15 AM
By the way, Amy. It might be safer if, in the future, you don't announce to someone that you're going to take their plate down if you see them breaking the law. Just go ahead and do it, and don't invite confrontation.
I'm all for taking a stand and confronting people on their bad behavior, but here there was no need to.
Patrick at September 28, 2013 3:17 AM
I will freely admit I am a racist. A full blown racist....
Against the Human Race.
Ppen at September 28, 2013 5:00 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/09/28/heres_some_ugly.html#comment-3941691">comment from PatrickIt was dark -- late at night. And, thanks, I like to tell people that because I'm behind a high fence with a locking, iron-reinforced gate, and I don't like people to think they get away with this.
And hah, PPen!
I'm against people like this.
It was so amazing that the guy said that. Since I couldn't even tell what race the people were, nor did it play into this.
Amy Alkon at September 28, 2013 6:14 AM
Some people treat the race card as a "get out of jail free" card. They expected you to be a white liberal, racked with guilt and the worst thing to ever do to such a person is to accuse them of being a RAAAAAAACCCCCCIIIIIIIISSSSSST!
You were supposed to roll up into a small ball and start crying. They didn't know who they were actually dealing with.
I assume they were going to the local bar?
I R A Darth Aggie at September 28, 2013 6:26 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/09/28/heres_some_ugly.html#comment-3941715">comment from I R A Darth AggieYep, I R A - going to the local bar.
And I was completely shocked and told the guy HE was racist one for making this about race; that I couldn't see what race they were, and that didn't cross my mind; that this was about my not being willing to get cars on my block get damaged.
Amy Alkon at September 28, 2013 6:32 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/09/28/heres_some_ugly.html#comment-3941741">comment from Amy AlkonAdded "Late last night" to the beginning of the post to make it clear it was dark.
And Patrick, when I tracked down the guy who did a hit-and-run on my car, it was amazing how mad he was that I would have him prosecuted for it. As if I'd done something terrible to him!
Amy Alkon at September 28, 2013 6:49 AM
I am so tired of people playing the race card. When I hear "racism" now, I gloss over like in the story, " The Boy who Cried Wolf." The term is so overused that people will soon ignore an allegation of racism even when the charge may be valid.
Nick at September 28, 2013 7:44 AM
I'm starting to think I'm racist. I don't like races at all. They make me sweaty... even just watching.
Shannon M. Howell at September 28, 2013 7:52 AM
Well you are kinda racist Amy, you forgot that some assholes are dark pink!
As for Patrick, seconded. Even if you are behind a fence, that't not all that much protection against a a really determined lawbreaker. Thinking like a criminal, if I were really pissed off at you and determined to get at you, I'd just wait for you to leave the house.
wtf at September 28, 2013 8:37 AM
I think I know their kid!
Cute li'l feller.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimer at September 28, 2013 9:16 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/09/28/heres_some_ugly.html#comment-3942034">comment from wtfif I were really pissed off at you and determined to get at you, I'd just wait for you to leave the house.
Rarely happens, lately. Book correx due October 10.
Left only once this week, to go to vet for shots for Aida.
Amy Alkon at September 28, 2013 9:32 AM
Saying that you're going to report them isn't racist, but saying brown is the color of assholes is.
NicoleK at September 28, 2013 11:25 AM
The big question is was your neighbor's car damaged?
This sounds to me like what I know as "San Francisco Parking" - tap the car to the back, tap the one to the front, then the back again - then center. I was told that because parking was so tight it was often necessary. And yes that sometimes makes noise...I have no idea what you heard...suspension squeaking is a lot different than metal crumpling or glass breaking.
Racism as gotten weird. At the grocery store the other day the checker was blabbing on as usual and was she wanted to ask the customer who had just gone by if he was a basketball player but didn't him to think she is a racist. The customer in front of me and I both said that given he was like 7'4" we were sure he would attribute the thought to that and not his race...though he did probably get asked that a lot and might be annoyed by the question.
The Former Banker at September 28, 2013 11:31 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/09/28/heres_some_ugly.html#comment-3942294">comment from NicoleKSaying that you're going to report them isn't racist, but saying brown is the color of assholes is.
NicoleK, do you understand that I'm talking -- sorry for being gross -- specifically about the hole on people's butts and the color of the stuff that comes out?
Do I really need to explain this?
Also, the guy, best I could see, was maybe beige. My street is not lit like the emergency room.
And I do not "tap" people's cars when parking -- or scrape them, as has been done numerous times to mine. I am not great at parallel parking, so rather than hit somebody's car, I do many little turns to get out of a spot.
And yeah, I see other people tap people's cars. When I hear your "tap" from inside the house with my TV on, this is not a "tap." This is your thinking you can get away with hitting somebody's car to the point where you may do damage to it because you don't see anybody watching you.
Amy Alkon at September 28, 2013 11:38 AM
Tangential question that I think came up here recently. I didn't like what I read so I'll "ask" again. I admit I'll confirmation-bias the crap out of this, but please respond anyway.
When I'm out and about and engage or am adjacent to someone who looks or sounds exotic, I'll say something like "You're not from around here, are you?" and sometimes I'm more direct: "Are you from ---?" Recently asked a bank teller if she was Jamaican and she said Trinidad & Tobago. As I'm aware of boundaries even as I step on them, my mind got a little mushy and I said, even tho I knew better, "Rihanna!" The woman kindly corrected me - R is from Barbados.
Am I being rude?
Caveat at September 28, 2013 12:02 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/09/28/heres_some_ugly.html#comment-3942360">comment from CaveatExpressing interest in someone, if you are not interested in a way like, "Eeuw, where are you from?" is nice -- it's a way to connect with someone.
People all my life have asked me whether I'm Irish/of Irish ancestry. Why would I be offended by this?
Amy Alkon at September 28, 2013 12:11 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/09/28/heres_some_ugly.html#comment-3942362">comment from Amy AlkonRelated -- see my comments, too:
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/07/21/miami_tsa_worke.html
Amy Alkon at September 28, 2013 12:11 PM
Amy,
Thanks. I don't see why anyone would be offended, but I like perspectives. I think I've flattered a number of people, potentially made new friends, and never gotten a bad response.
I'm aware that calling a Chinese person Japanese or vice versa can be tricky. Greek / Turkish etc. I'm not current on who hates whom.
Anonymous at September 28, 2013 12:29 PM
"I'm not current on who hates whom."
Unfortunately, these days everyone seems to hate everyone else.
Eg-North and South Koreans, Egypt and Iran, the list goes on.
To be safe, I just don't ask. They usually work it into the conversation anyway, without any problems.
PC gone loco.
wtf at September 28, 2013 12:45 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/09/28/heres_some_ugly.html#comment-3942436">comment from AnonymousI think that people realize that it's easy for people who aren't around a lot of, say, Chinese and Japanese people to not be able to differentiate between, say, someone Korean, Chinese, or Japanese. It's not a hate-centered thing when you're just curious and interested. Interest is nice, providing a person isn't putting out a vibe of someone who doesn't want to talk to anyone.
Amy Alkon at September 28, 2013 12:56 PM
Hank Hill: So are you Chinese or Japanese?
Kahn Souphanousinphone: I live in California last twenty year, but, ah... first come from Laos.
Hank Hill: Huh?
Kahn Souphanousinphone: Laos. We Laotian.
Bill Dauterive: The ocean? What ocean?
Kahn Souphanousinphone: We are Laotian--from Laos, stupid! It's a landlocked country in southeast Asia. It's between Vietnam and Thailand, OK? Population 4.7 million.
Hank Hill: So are you Chinese or Japanese?
Kahn Souphanousinphone: [groans]
lujlp at September 28, 2013 3:30 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/09/28/heres_some_ugly.html#comment-3942857">comment from lujlpWhen you ask people where they're from, you sometimes hear very interesting stories. The guy who cuts my hair, Mr. Young, escaped Vietnam to Toronto and then emigrated to the USA. He's hilarious. Laughs at how I said, "Nasty ends." Mimics me: "Nasty ends! Nasty ends! Hah, hah, hah." I just love that. He's adorable in how he laughs at me.
Amy Alkon at September 28, 2013 4:49 PM
Ha! What were Michelle and Barack Obama doing in your neighborhood parking their own car? Visting one of the 57 states?
Charles at September 28, 2013 5:21 PM
Now that I live in Hawaii (instead of rural Washington, the south, or the midwest), there are many, many more other Asian people around. I've noticed that a lot of the time, upon first meeting, we exchange the necessary pleasantries and then get right into "what kind of Asian are you." Like dogs sniffing each other's butts.
Sosij at September 28, 2013 9:21 PM
Amy writes: And Patrick, when I tracked down the guy who did a hit-and-run on my car, it was amazing how mad he was that I would have him prosecuted for it. As if I'd done something terrible to him!
I know, and I thought that was hilarious. Wasn't he the one who threatened to sue you for suing him, and claiming that your lawyer will tell you all about it?
Patrick at September 29, 2013 12:40 AM
The race was human. The type was jerk. It's all one race when you get down to it, imho, but there are jerk humans everywhere as well as nice humans.
Michael at September 29, 2013 1:46 PM
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