Yes. But then I'm not exactly a small girl. A guy who weighed less than me would be pretty good looking. Haha. Back in my twenties when I weighed 130? Maybe I would have had a different answer. Although skinny goth boys are pretty cute...
julie
at October 16, 2013 1:11 PM
No, because I prefer a man who looks like he could physically defend me if need be, and I wouldn't date a man shorter than about 5'10 (so he's still considerably taller than I am when I'm in heels), and a 5'10 man who weighs less than I do is too skinny for my tastes.
Also, I'm fat, and I know from experience that a slender man's hip bones digging into a fat girl's thighs makes for rather uncomfortable sex.
Beth Cartwright
at October 16, 2013 1:12 PM
I'm Jack Sprat, so this is relevant to my interests. Happily, my wife overlooked the tall/skinny thing for my sparkling personality.
I have never thought about it but I guess to me it wouldn't matter, I tend to be attracted mainly to skinny tall men so I wouldn't mind it. I tend to be attracted to tall skinny men, with that being said, if he is creative and smart and open minded about things,I notice that more than if the man weighs a certain weight.
April Quinn
at October 16, 2013 1:23 PM
For the record, April Quinn is not my wife.
Matt
at October 16, 2013 1:31 PM
Looking back, I would say that most of my boyfriends probably weighed less than me. Or they looked like they did, anyway. The topic never came up.
So, yeah. Why? Because I'm usually looking at eyes and asses. And a good smile.
Pricklypear
at October 16, 2013 1:41 PM
No, but I rarely top 110. Maybe I'd feel differently about it if I were bigger.
ahw
at October 16, 2013 2:30 PM
I can't imagine dating a guy who weighs less than I do, but like several other ladies have said I only weigh 132#. I just can't wrap my mind around being big enough for any guy who isn't a quasi-midget to be smaller than me.
I probably wouldn't be attracted to him. He needn't be taller than I am -- I'm 5'4" and have dated a couple of men around my height, but they've been athletic types with shoulders and some muscle, so they didn't feel small to me, somehow. If he's not bigger in some way, I probably would only love him as a friend. I weigh about 115, so that probably factors into it. Even short men usually weigh more than I do.
Gail
at October 16, 2013 2:50 PM
When I weighed about 180, I dated a woman who weighed about 320. I didn't have a problem with it and never said anything about her weight. She enjoyed being with me at first, but later, she started thinking stuff like, "Can't he see that I'm fat and ugly? That must mean there's something wrong with him." Her thinking I had a problem kept our relationship from lasting very long.
My husband is younger, shorter, lighter. The last wasn't always the case--he lost almost 50lbs in the first year I knew him.
KateC
at October 16, 2013 2:55 PM
No. When I was younger I rarely topped 110lbs at 5'6" so a man with that body type or ratio would end up looking overly delicate to me. Even now at my age, I dont top 120 and much of that is due to several years of lifting to gain some muscle. Although relatively sedentary now, there is just a bit of size that (happily) sticks. Fortunately, my hubbie is thick and strong. It was his deadlift that made me notice him in the first place.
N
at October 16, 2013 3:07 PM
Wouldn't this also depend upon the size of the woman? Would a 260-lb-female really turn down a date with a lean, mean fighting machine?
Doubt it.
Patrick
at October 16, 2013 3:33 PM
If I were single, I'd be uncomfortable outweighing a guy who outweighed me, because I have serious body issues and am currently overweight.
I'd mind it less if he were at least significantly taller than me. I like a guy to feel bigger than me in some way. I'm 5 ft 2 so that should not be hard to find.
But if he were short and skinny, it wouldn't be a dealbreaker. It would help if he particularly had a fetish for stout women with huge boobs. Then I wouldn't have the issue Fayd described. I'd feel validated.
NicoleK
at October 16, 2013 4:22 PM
Nah. I'm 5'5" and weigh between 115 and 120 lbs. That would have to be a tiny, tiny man. I go for the tall, muscular type. Hubby is 6'3", 215 lbs. I'd only leave him for The Rock (Dwayne Johnson, but who'd call him that when you can call him "The Rock"?), so little men are not for me.
I think if I were heavy, I'd have a problem dating a man smaller than myself. My mom had a curvy figure, and my dad was tall and quite skinny. He accidentally put on her jeans once, and they were way too big around. I remember thinking it would be so embarrassing if my husband's waist and butt were smaller than mine.
KimberBlue
at October 16, 2013 6:00 PM
In this era I find it hard to date women who don't outweigh me. I'm 6' tall 220lbs.
Average Guy
at October 16, 2013 6:35 PM
I found that I just wasn't that attracted to the jockey-size guy I dated. He was also a jerk, but his daintiness didn't help. I prefer taller, brawnier guys -- guys who are too heavy for me to pick up and carry and who just look bigger than I am (5'5", 125 lbs).
Sue
at October 16, 2013 7:02 PM
I married him, but he's no Jack Sprat. I'm a big girl and he's an average guy, 5'10" probably 180lbs. I hope to weigh less than him one day!
NikkiG
at October 16, 2013 8:20 PM
the only time this was an issue, in bygone days when I was still athletic, I asked the femme in question how much she THOUGHT I weighed. she was low by 50# ... so I swept her offa her feet, and said: 'problem?'
"um, no."
but, it was never good enough, because she had such a fupped duck view of her own beautiful body. even side by side with a scale.
she ended up w/ the defensive lineman who was 6'4" & 320# and clearly much larger than her... but he also knew how to exploit that insecurity.
I used to wonder how you help that... but you really can't.
SwissArmyD
at October 16, 2013 8:52 PM
"So, yeah. Why? Because I'm usually looking at eyes and asses. And a good smile."
Prickly I like you-a lot.
I too like ass on a man.
You ever see that Lenny Kravitz shower scene where his giant ass takes up the screen.
Yes me likey.
Ppen
at October 17, 2013 1:10 AM
Sure! It makes it easier to pin 'em down!
Arrrrrggghhhhh!
Pirate Jo
at October 17, 2013 5:11 AM
Maybe you can ask a question to female bodybuilders if they would be willing to date guys who are not bodybuilders or athletes or powerlifters and are just normal average guys. Then you might get some interesting responses. And if there are any who are willing to date one, I would jump at the chance.
Redrajesh
at October 17, 2013 5:30 AM
I married him, but he's no Jack Sprat. I'm a big girl and he's an average guy, 5'10" probably 180lbs. I hope to weigh less than him one day!
Same here. And I'm getting there! I'm not too much heavier than he is, and I carry it well, but I want there to be less of me because it'll be easier in the long run. That said, I don't know too many skinny guys my age anyway.
Flynne
at October 17, 2013 5:38 AM
You didn't really ask me, but speaking for myself, I like 'em short. I'm 5'11", but I like 'em in the 5'3" category or below. I enjoy a short guy's typical feistiness. They tend to have this mild napoleonic complex operating, and I absolutely love it. So short and muscular is definitely my type.
Patrick
at October 17, 2013 6:33 AM
By the way, Amy, shame on you! By suggesting Jack Sprat's wife (who could eat no lean) is fatter than he is, you're promoting the idea that eating fat makes you fat. Shame, shame, shame.
What would Dr. Eades say?
Patrick
at October 17, 2013 9:41 AM
Wouldn't this also depend upon the size of the woman? Would a 260-lb-female really turn down a date with a lean, mean fighting machine?
Doubt it.
Posted by: Patrick at October 16, 2013 3:33 PM
______________________________
Exactly. But, even if I were as thin as I'd like to be, I'd have nothing against someone even thinner. Grooming, personality, and being well-read matter a lot more to me.
What's definitely tiresome is distinctly overweight or obese men, since you know they're not going to be very flexible in bed - and they get tired too easily in ANY physical activity. Not fun.
lenona
at October 17, 2013 11:25 AM
Patrick, I just had a mental picture of one of these Napoleonic types getting pissed off at you and you strong-arm holding them off by their forehead as they swing angry little fists at you....kinda like my big brother used do to me.
Juliana
at October 17, 2013 3:50 PM
When I was 14 and my boyfriend was a wrestler who had to drop twenty pounds below our relatively same weight to be competitive, I worried a little about this shit, but when I grew up, as long as I knew I wasn't fat, I started ignoring it.
Isab
at October 18, 2013 2:48 PM
It's not the weight of the man.
It's the weight of the wallet on the man.
— Anonymous Woman
Some Guy
at October 18, 2013 8:18 PM
It's not the weight of the man.
It's the weight of the wallet on the man.
— Anonymous Woman
I admire the cander of the person who originally said this.
Abelard Lindsey
at October 18, 2013 8:46 PM
It's pretty difficult to find a man who weighs less than me. Regardless, I like to feel protected. Sexist, I know.
at least we can stop the nonsense now about those "awful men" choosing women based on breasts, hair color and other physical trait.
Or
at October 19, 2013 3:05 AM
In parts of midwest, I commonly see this; maybe 300 (woman), 175 (man). It used to be lower weight numbers, but the same ratio.
egoist
at October 19, 2013 3:10 AM
I could weigh 300 lbs and still be lighter than Roseanne Barr...and sing the National anthem 400 times better.
Puddin
at October 19, 2013 4:08 AM
Interesting question and answers. I read somewhere that marriages are happier when the wife is skinny and the husband heavy (not saying obese here, mind you).
TRO
at October 19, 2013 4:17 AM
In high school I weighed 145 lbs. My boyfriend at the time, now my husband, weighed 115. He didn't gain any significant weight until he was 25. I have never gave it any thought because he never gave it any thought.
Ripleigh
at October 19, 2013 6:46 AM
"No, because I prefer a man who looks like he could physically defend me if need be,"
Not that there's anything wrong with a lady's preference, or that anyone should have to rationalize what attracts them, but I found this wonderfully ironic. I'm much stronger now, as a practical matter, than I was when I was 130 pounds heavier.
Eric
at October 19, 2013 7:13 AM
Since I divorced my evil X (she we 5'3" 100 lbs) I have always dated curvy women. I prefer a woman who weighs between 150-250 lbs. I'm 5'9" 190...
...and yes, I married her 12 years ago she's 5'5" 225!...and as beautiful today as the day we met.
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/10/16/the_jack_sprat.html#comment-3989641">comment from Eric
I'm much stronger now, as a practical matter, than I was when I was 130 pounds heavier.
Eric, it's an evolutionary thing -- the perception of strength via body mass/possible muscle mass.
Evolution is exceptionally slow. Even minor adaptations (like lactose tolerance in some) take thousands of years. Humans had a long stable period (the Pleistocene -- and in cases of some adaptations, eras before that) in which their world didn't change much. It's a complex cognitive adaptation that causes women to want men who appear strong. Guns -- a great equalizer of strength -- are a very, very recent invention.
Yes. But then I'm not exactly a small girl. A guy who weighed less than me would be pretty good looking. Haha. Back in my twenties when I weighed 130? Maybe I would have had a different answer. Although skinny goth boys are pretty cute...
julie at October 16, 2013 1:11 PM
No, because I prefer a man who looks like he could physically defend me if need be, and I wouldn't date a man shorter than about 5'10 (so he's still considerably taller than I am when I'm in heels), and a 5'10 man who weighs less than I do is too skinny for my tastes.
Also, I'm fat, and I know from experience that a slender man's hip bones digging into a fat girl's thighs makes for rather uncomfortable sex.
Beth Cartwright at October 16, 2013 1:12 PM
I'm Jack Sprat, so this is relevant to my interests. Happily, my wife overlooked the tall/skinny thing for my sparkling personality.
Matt at October 16, 2013 1:17 PM
I have never thought about it but I guess to me it wouldn't matter, I tend to be attracted mainly to skinny tall men so I wouldn't mind it. I tend to be attracted to tall skinny men, with that being said, if he is creative and smart and open minded about things,I notice that more than if the man weighs a certain weight.
April Quinn at October 16, 2013 1:23 PM
For the record, April Quinn is not my wife.
Matt at October 16, 2013 1:31 PM
Looking back, I would say that most of my boyfriends probably weighed less than me. Or they looked like they did, anyway. The topic never came up.
So, yeah. Why? Because I'm usually looking at eyes and asses. And a good smile.
Pricklypear at October 16, 2013 1:41 PM
No, but I rarely top 110. Maybe I'd feel differently about it if I were bigger.
ahw at October 16, 2013 2:30 PM
I can't imagine dating a guy who weighs less than I do, but like several other ladies have said I only weigh 132#. I just can't wrap my mind around being big enough for any guy who isn't a quasi-midget to be smaller than me.
Maggie McNeill at October 16, 2013 2:37 PM
I probably wouldn't be attracted to him. He needn't be taller than I am -- I'm 5'4" and have dated a couple of men around my height, but they've been athletic types with shoulders and some muscle, so they didn't feel small to me, somehow. If he's not bigger in some way, I probably would only love him as a friend. I weigh about 115, so that probably factors into it. Even short men usually weigh more than I do.
Gail at October 16, 2013 2:50 PM
When I weighed about 180, I dated a woman who weighed about 320. I didn't have a problem with it and never said anything about her weight. She enjoyed being with me at first, but later, she started thinking stuff like, "Can't he see that I'm fat and ugly? That must mean there's something wrong with him." Her thinking I had a problem kept our relationship from lasting very long.
Fayd at October 16, 2013 2:51 PM
My husband is younger, shorter, lighter. The last wasn't always the case--he lost almost 50lbs in the first year I knew him.
KateC at October 16, 2013 2:55 PM
No. When I was younger I rarely topped 110lbs at 5'6" so a man with that body type or ratio would end up looking overly delicate to me. Even now at my age, I dont top 120 and much of that is due to several years of lifting to gain some muscle. Although relatively sedentary now, there is just a bit of size that (happily) sticks. Fortunately, my hubbie is thick and strong. It was his deadlift that made me notice him in the first place.
N at October 16, 2013 3:07 PM
Wouldn't this also depend upon the size of the woman? Would a 260-lb-female really turn down a date with a lean, mean fighting machine?
Doubt it.
Patrick at October 16, 2013 3:33 PM
If I were single, I'd be uncomfortable outweighing a guy who outweighed me, because I have serious body issues and am currently overweight.
I'd mind it less if he were at least significantly taller than me. I like a guy to feel bigger than me in some way. I'm 5 ft 2 so that should not be hard to find.
But if he were short and skinny, it wouldn't be a dealbreaker. It would help if he particularly had a fetish for stout women with huge boobs. Then I wouldn't have the issue Fayd described. I'd feel validated.
NicoleK at October 16, 2013 4:22 PM
Nah. I'm 5'5" and weigh between 115 and 120 lbs. That would have to be a tiny, tiny man. I go for the tall, muscular type. Hubby is 6'3", 215 lbs. I'd only leave him for The Rock (Dwayne Johnson, but who'd call him that when you can call him "The Rock"?), so little men are not for me.
I think if I were heavy, I'd have a problem dating a man smaller than myself. My mom had a curvy figure, and my dad was tall and quite skinny. He accidentally put on her jeans once, and they were way too big around. I remember thinking it would be so embarrassing if my husband's waist and butt were smaller than mine.
KimberBlue at October 16, 2013 6:00 PM
In this era I find it hard to date women who don't outweigh me. I'm 6' tall 220lbs.
Average Guy at October 16, 2013 6:35 PM
I found that I just wasn't that attracted to the jockey-size guy I dated. He was also a jerk, but his daintiness didn't help. I prefer taller, brawnier guys -- guys who are too heavy for me to pick up and carry and who just look bigger than I am (5'5", 125 lbs).
Sue at October 16, 2013 7:02 PM
I married him, but he's no Jack Sprat. I'm a big girl and he's an average guy, 5'10" probably 180lbs. I hope to weigh less than him one day!
NikkiG at October 16, 2013 8:20 PM
the only time this was an issue, in bygone days when I was still athletic, I asked the femme in question how much she THOUGHT I weighed. she was low by 50# ... so I swept her offa her feet, and said: 'problem?'
"um, no."
but, it was never good enough, because she had such a fupped duck view of her own beautiful body. even side by side with a scale.
she ended up w/ the defensive lineman who was 6'4" & 320# and clearly much larger than her... but he also knew how to exploit that insecurity.
I used to wonder how you help that... but you really can't.
SwissArmyD at October 16, 2013 8:52 PM
"So, yeah. Why? Because I'm usually looking at eyes and asses. And a good smile."
Prickly I like you-a lot.
I too like ass on a man.
You ever see that Lenny Kravitz shower scene where his giant ass takes up the screen.
Yes me likey.
Ppen at October 17, 2013 1:10 AM
Sure! It makes it easier to pin 'em down!
Arrrrrggghhhhh!
Pirate Jo at October 17, 2013 5:11 AM
Maybe you can ask a question to female bodybuilders if they would be willing to date guys who are not bodybuilders or athletes or powerlifters and are just normal average guys. Then you might get some interesting responses. And if there are any who are willing to date one, I would jump at the chance.
Redrajesh at October 17, 2013 5:30 AM
I married him, but he's no Jack Sprat. I'm a big girl and he's an average guy, 5'10" probably 180lbs. I hope to weigh less than him one day!
Same here. And I'm getting there! I'm not too much heavier than he is, and I carry it well, but I want there to be less of me because it'll be easier in the long run. That said, I don't know too many skinny guys my age anyway.
Flynne at October 17, 2013 5:38 AM
You didn't really ask me, but speaking for myself, I like 'em short. I'm 5'11", but I like 'em in the 5'3" category or below. I enjoy a short guy's typical feistiness. They tend to have this mild napoleonic complex operating, and I absolutely love it. So short and muscular is definitely my type.
Patrick at October 17, 2013 6:33 AM
By the way, Amy, shame on you! By suggesting Jack Sprat's wife (who could eat no lean) is fatter than he is, you're promoting the idea that eating fat makes you fat. Shame, shame, shame.
What would Dr. Eades say?
Patrick at October 17, 2013 9:41 AM
Wouldn't this also depend upon the size of the woman? Would a 260-lb-female really turn down a date with a lean, mean fighting machine?
Doubt it.
Posted by: Patrick at October 16, 2013 3:33 PM
______________________________
Exactly. But, even if I were as thin as I'd like to be, I'd have nothing against someone even thinner. Grooming, personality, and being well-read matter a lot more to me.
What's definitely tiresome is distinctly overweight or obese men, since you know they're not going to be very flexible in bed - and they get tired too easily in ANY physical activity. Not fun.
lenona at October 17, 2013 11:25 AM
Patrick, I just had a mental picture of one of these Napoleonic types getting pissed off at you and you strong-arm holding them off by their forehead as they swing angry little fists at you....kinda like my big brother used do to me.
Juliana at October 17, 2013 3:50 PM
When I was 14 and my boyfriend was a wrestler who had to drop twenty pounds below our relatively same weight to be competitive, I worried a little about this shit, but when I grew up, as long as I knew I wasn't fat, I started ignoring it.
Isab at October 18, 2013 2:48 PM
It's not the weight of the man.
It's the weight of the wallet on the man.
— Anonymous Woman
Some Guy at October 18, 2013 8:18 PM
It's not the weight of the man.
It's the weight of the wallet on the man.
— Anonymous Woman
I admire the cander of the person who originally said this.
Abelard Lindsey at October 18, 2013 8:46 PM
It's pretty difficult to find a man who weighs less than me. Regardless, I like to feel protected. Sexist, I know.
edge of the sandbox at October 18, 2013 8:59 PM
at least we can stop the nonsense now about those "awful men" choosing women based on breasts, hair color and other physical trait.
Or at October 19, 2013 3:05 AM
In parts of midwest, I commonly see this; maybe 300 (woman), 175 (man). It used to be lower weight numbers, but the same ratio.
egoist at October 19, 2013 3:10 AM
I could weigh 300 lbs and still be lighter than Roseanne Barr...and sing the National anthem 400 times better.
Puddin at October 19, 2013 4:08 AM
Interesting question and answers. I read somewhere that marriages are happier when the wife is skinny and the husband heavy (not saying obese here, mind you).
TRO at October 19, 2013 4:17 AM
In high school I weighed 145 lbs. My boyfriend at the time, now my husband, weighed 115. He didn't gain any significant weight until he was 25. I have never gave it any thought because he never gave it any thought.
Ripleigh at October 19, 2013 6:46 AM
"No, because I prefer a man who looks like he could physically defend me if need be,"
Not that there's anything wrong with a lady's preference, or that anyone should have to rationalize what attracts them, but I found this wonderfully ironic. I'm much stronger now, as a practical matter, than I was when I was 130 pounds heavier.
Eric at October 19, 2013 7:13 AM
Since I divorced my evil X (she we 5'3" 100 lbs) I have always dated curvy women. I prefer a woman who weighs between 150-250 lbs. I'm 5'9" 190...
...and yes, I married her 12 years ago she's 5'5" 225!...and as beautiful today as the day we met.
Rich Vail at October 19, 2013 7:33 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/10/16/the_jack_sprat.html#comment-3989641">comment from EricI'm much stronger now, as a practical matter, than I was when I was 130 pounds heavier.
Eric, it's an evolutionary thing -- the perception of strength via body mass/possible muscle mass.
Evolution is exceptionally slow. Even minor adaptations (like lactose tolerance in some) take thousands of years. Humans had a long stable period (the Pleistocene -- and in cases of some adaptations, eras before that) in which their world didn't change much. It's a complex cognitive adaptation that causes women to want men who appear strong. Guns -- a great equalizer of strength -- are a very, very recent invention.
Amy Alkon at October 19, 2013 8:17 AM
Alex's first rule of dating for men, "Never date a woman you can't bench press!"
So what's the women's equivalent?
OneDay at October 19, 2013 9:05 AM
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