Grateful
I'm grateful to all of you who comment here, who challenge me when I let something slip by me (and make me better because of it) and make the comments section here so interesting that when I'm dead-tired at 11 p.m., I'm too compelled to post blog items to go to bed.
I also love that there's a spirit of free speech here. I trust that when somebody's a jerk that people here, who are very smart and unwilling to let stuff just fly, will go after the stuff that doesn't quite make it in their comment.
Thanks so much to all of you.
Thank you for being our lovely and gracious (and very smart!) hostess, Amy!
Cousin Dave at November 29, 2013 6:11 AM
And thanks to you Amy for having a zone where valid free speech can be discussed and debated with very little intervention.
Jim P. at November 29, 2013 6:29 AM
Thank you for enriching our intellectual lives and fostering the spirit of free speech that prevails here!
ValiantBlue@yahoo.com at November 29, 2013 6:31 AM
I really enjoy this board. (Obviously since I've been posting here since '05 or '06). I disagree with you on practically everything, but that's what makes it more interesting than FB.
NicoleK at November 29, 2013 6:39 AM
Thank YOU, Amy!
Best blog on the 'Net, in my not-so-humble-opinion.
Long may you post, Amy. Long may we, as well. Thanks for all of your hard work. I'm glad you think we're worth it!
I hope you had a great Thanksgiving!
Flynne at November 29, 2013 7:47 AM
I love that we can debate here without being slapped by an administrator.
Great Job Amy!
wtf at November 29, 2013 8:27 AM
Wtf, you're not from our country... You're not an American.
Crid at November 29, 2013 10:20 AM
This forum is actually one of the few I truly feel I can speak my mind. Or even speak my mind and have an effect on people that probably disagree with me. And vice versa.
And what I appreciate is that the regulars have pretty diverse backgrounds and views and yet there is a ton less name calling and other forms of crap calling than appears on other forums.
But to echo wtf, there are way too many forums that claim to traffic in free opinion in which taking the wrong position does get you banned and threatened not just by the commenters but by the forum administrator.
So rock on!
jerry at November 29, 2013 11:14 AM
Is that an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato I am seeing? There's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!
jerry at November 29, 2013 11:16 AM
Thanks, Amy, for bringing things to my attention that I probably never would have known about otherwise (for instance, "cisgendered"), leading me on treasure hunts all over the map!
Pricklypear at November 29, 2013 2:09 PM
"Wtf, you're not from our country... You're not an American."
There are several of us that are not from your country. We know that we are not Americans. What's your point?
Steamer at November 29, 2013 4:35 PM
> What's your point?
1. Spank the forum's unruly children.
2. Steer the mood away from mawkish and vapid sentimentality. (I have always admired the spaces between people.)
> We know that we are not Americans.
1. *I* don't know that you're not American. And for most every topic Amy will offer, national heritage will cast your comment offerings in a different, and much clearer, light. In recent years, far too many of her commenters have pretended to be Americans, with skin or money or dignity on the line for the conflicts she discusses; or they (you) will allege that foreign allegiance was mentioned once three years ago, as if we should all have written it down on a three-by-five card next to the computer for review when coming to the web page. This takes advantage of our good and welcoming nature, while affirming the weaker and more cowardly impulses of other cultures. It shouldn't be permitted to pass without comment. (By "comment" I mean "punishing mockery.")
2. If you truly recognized the gulf between America's culture and that of others, you wouldn't take offense at a mild public asservation.
Touchy, touchy....
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at November 29, 2013 5:05 PM
For fuck's sake Crid; do you ALWAYS have to play the ugly American role? Can't you let folks have just ONE Kumbaya moment?
Charles at November 29, 2013 7:40 PM
Depends on who's trying to Kum ba my ya, m'lord.
Did you know that Steamer was not from these parts? Me neither! Good to know, right? Later, I'll go through a bunch of his/her comments with Google and see what it all means.
PS- Not the ugly American, the distinctive one.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at November 29, 2013 7:54 PM
No, you're not distinctive. You are just ignorant.
Jim P. at November 29, 2013 8:47 PM
"do you ALWAYS have to play the ugly American role?"
Please read what Crid said. He has a very valid point. It helps knowing when discussing certain issues where people are from. Gun issues is one that comes to mind. That way we can take that into account and just ignore them.
"as if we should all have written it down on a three-by-five card next to the computer for review when coming to the web page."
I tried that years ago. Ended up with so many cards they became useless.
"You are just ignorant."
He has a lot of knowledge for being ignorant. He is also very entertaining. Do you notice he is missed when absent - by both friend and foe?
Dave B at November 29, 2013 9:20 PM
Here are just a few of Amy's topics concerning events in the United States (elsewhere as indicated) for which any thoughtful reader would want to have known that Steamer's comments were originating from outside our borders, but for which no such notation was provided:
The licensing of bicycles in New York City; the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (comment included notation of votes in our House of Representatives); legal consequences of a rape in Tampa, Florida; racial discrimination of firefighters in New York City; Obama's approach to bank bailouts; the wearing of patriotic & pro-military jewelry in business contexts; diets in the (United States) Civil War; parking in New York City; the complications of the United States tax code; credit reports and hiring practices in the United States; the wearing of Islamic clothing in American schools; the State Department's response to Islam in the United States; the Transportation Safety Administration; female executive performance in the United States; bicyclists (in the United States [again]); the length of the work week; sharia and immigration to the United States; the United States Drug Enforcement Administration; T-shirt jokes about Obama; (United States) insurance companies and drunk driver detection; Obama's economic advisers and the "morality" of "reforming the system"; driverless cars in California; representation of divorce in New York City courts; Obama's signature of the Fair Pay Act; diet guidelines from the United States federal government; the Transportation Safety Administration [again]; Islamic immigration to Great Britain; United States policy regarding student loan debt.
It took a few minutes. I'll find a few hundred more after work if you want.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at November 29, 2013 10:05 PM
M'kay! Home now... Everybody good? Anyone need more cites, or has the point been made?
Y'know, I'm grateful to Amy too. Of course I am. During the recent interregnum (☺), I went back and read every comment of mine to be found here between 2003 & 2010. There were thousands. (This woman's trying to earn a living giving alt-weekly newspaper advice in a crumbling market, and I'm shitting all over her website with middle-aged angst.) In that period, which included some personal times which were not pleasant, this blog was great place to write things down and see what they looked like.
And (even) upon distant reflection, they all look pretty fuckin' good. The errors were of optimism about human nature, the kind easiest to forgive. (And I've not caught up to the present day... There are harangues and resentments yet to be reanimated.)
So here we are in 2013, trying desperately to understand what we owe our fellows —locally and around the world— as the well runs dry.
It has…
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at November 30, 2013 3:56 AM
…It has been conclusively demonstrated —by American public servants of each stripe, and on this blog as on the globe itself— that chatter of the kind 'The United States shouldn't be the world's policeman!' has zero merit... None as moral position, and none as practical posture. When it comes to making the planet go, to teaching girls how to read, to teaching anyone how to farm, fish, build or plan in pursuit of wealth, the United States of America stands alone.
From weather nightmares 50 years ago to typhoon Haiyan in this very month, there is ONE NATION to which the world's turned for relief and constabulary authority in a crisis: From each continent of the planet, the world has turned to the United States of America and screamed Do something!
And we've done something. We've done fantastic things, lifesaving things, often with nuclear-powered craft not launched elsewhere, while other nations have pretended to take part.
I've made (fairly gentle) fun of Amy's foreign visitors for quite awhile. But it's starting to look like this blog, for whatever it's liberal or feminine characteristics, is the place where wanna-be Americans across the planet come to log in after dinner, unzip their pants, and stroke themselves as they pretend to be Americans... As if they have all the insights required to get the job done just by, y'know, meaning well and reading all about us.
Well, Bitches, I doubt it. I strongly doubt it, and look forward to demonstrating this certitude in statistical contexts in the times ahead.
Meanwhile, yeah, you're "grateful" to the businesswoman on the beach whose health insurance is at risk as your borders are defended by the United States.
You fucking well oughta be.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at November 30, 2013 3:58 AM
Where is WTF from? And Steamer?
And where do binational ex-pats like myself fit in?
NicoleK at November 30, 2013 5:55 AM
I know, right?
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at November 30, 2013 8:22 AM
Good, I'm thankful that you took some time off – and I am hopeful that you used part of that time to write a book. I'd buy it. Really.
Radwaste at November 30, 2013 8:41 AM
No, but read a few, which is better for us all.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at November 30, 2013 9:21 AM
as if we should all have written it down on a three-by-five card next to the computer for review when coming to the web page
You expect the same of us when discussing YOUR past bullshit.
lujlp at November 30, 2013 10:52 AM
You are a goddess, Goddess!
kg at November 30, 2013 3:51 PM
"He has a lot of knowledge for being ignorant. He is also very entertaining. Do you notice he is missed when absent - by both friend and foe?"
And you can be both friend and foe with Crid in the same thread. Seriously, he is missed when gone because he is interesting.
I thank Amy for THAT as well. She is interesting. I agree with her more often than not but I usually only comment when I disagree. Why? because that is more interesting for me.
causticf at November 30, 2013 4:13 PM
Really? Then why have I been banned twice? I am much nicer to you and your commenters than some of your regulars.
justme at November 30, 2013 5:14 PM
> why have I been banned
Mabye Amy can't make peace with anyone who nicknames himself as the objective case of the first person pronoun. It's too much of a linguistic land-grab.
Never let it be said that I meant to imply that government has carried the load for Amy's health care: She's been a responsibly capitalist insurance buyer her whole life. (So she says, and who'd doubt it?) But just as other nations think there's no limit to what can be asked of the United States taxpayer in the defense of second- or even third-party nations, many in the United States have come to assume that there's no limit to what can be asked of the diminishing percentage of citizens who actually generate wealth and pay federal taxes. This insanity is contagious.
Again, the well runs dry....
Crid [CridComment at Gmail] at November 30, 2013 5:43 PM
And just like that, PJ appears with a column about the respect these pronouns deserve but too infrequently receive:
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at November 30, 2013 5:52 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/11/29/grateful.html#comment-4087222">comment from justmeReally? Then why have I been banned twice? I am much nicer to you and your commenters than some of your regulars.
No record of your current email address in my software, or your current IP.
I'm not concerned with "nice." I'm concerned with interesting. I love interesting, even from assholes. This is a very asshole-friendly site. In fact, I welcome assholes and the debate they encourage. Debate is good. It advances our thinking.
Also, your commenting name, "justme"…well, Crid got that right.
And I looked you up with "justme" -- and there's no reason you would have been banned. It is the very, very, very rare person who is. It is possible that Akismet, my anti-spam software, has found you (on some other site) to be a spammer.
And really, I just looked through your comments. There isn't a thing in them that I find the least bit offensive. In fact, we kind of agree on things.
Furthermore, if you were banned, how are you able to comment now?
Amy Alkon at November 30, 2013 6:10 PM
Justme was just off the top of my head. I'm also using a different email and IP. I was banned under my OLD info at two different residences.
Amy, how can you have looked through my comments if this was my first post under justme?
justme at November 30, 2013 6:47 PM
At this hour there are seven comments by that name in the Google cache. (In a couple hours, after Larry & Sergey have completed their next sweep, there will be more.)
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at November 30, 2013 7:05 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/11/29/grateful.html#comment-4087286">comment from justmeWell, there are a number of others posting as "justme."
What was the name you used before?
Come on, out with it.
The email address you used today was not used before here.
If you're going to claim to be banned, tell us who you are.
PS It's damn hard to get banned here. What did you supposedly do or say?
Amy Alkon at November 30, 2013 7:22 PM
I bet he is one of the assholes that you banned. We were all glad you did. I can remember one and he was really a sad case.
Dave B at November 30, 2013 11:01 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/11/29/grateful.html#comment-4087573">comment from Dave BProbably 10 people begged me to ban that person. He took every discussion off topic and -- the real offense -- made it about his supposed greatness.
Amy Alkon at December 1, 2013 12:25 AM
Test
deathbysnoosnoo at December 1, 2013 9:31 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/11/29/grateful.html#comment-4088056">comment from deathbysnoosnooNope, you're banned. I don't have time for your bullshit. It became clear to me that have some grudge against me and it started to come out in every comment. I don't have time to monitor this board for grudges and respond to every grudgy attack on me. People who merely think I'm wrong on a particular issue are welcome here.
I wrote you to tell you why you were banned, I believe, or that you were banned, quite some time ago. Rather rude of you to come back. I buy the bandwidth here. Garden-variety assholes are welcome. Assholes who suck my time and make me monitor the board in a way that takes me away from my writing (to defend myself against the grudgery) are not.
PS Again, it's really hard to get banned here but you managed. Interesting that you got sneaky in coming back -- came here under some nondescript name and claimed to be banned. Sneaky shit. Bye!
Amy Alkon at December 1, 2013 9:39 AM
Yes.
Jeff Guinn at December 2, 2013 4:04 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/11/29/grateful.html#comment-4089235">comment from Jeff GuinnMaybe Amy can't make peace with anyone who nicknames himself as the objective case of the first person pronoun. It's too much of a linguistic land-grab.
That's why.
I actually don't care whether you call yourself "Up Your Butt With A Coconut." You just need to not suck my time, as those who repeatedly post about something personal -- something other than the topic -- do. If you are posting repeatedly about yourself (as Chuckles used to), turning every post into a referendum on your greatness, or if every post of yours is about some weird grudge you have against me, it sucks the air out of the comments section and causes me too much work in monitoring and responding.
I generally like to let assholes stand and be chopped up into small pieces by comments that follow. It usually happens and free speech is good. Letting people call me an idiot is especially important, when it's tied to a post and not a grudge. It helps keep me from getting sloppy in my thinking, etc.
Amy Alkon at December 2, 2013 5:34 AM
I did not know that Chuckles got banned. No loss. I sometimes wish other sites would do the same. I've learned a lot from so many, Chuck not included.
Dave B at December 2, 2013 1:18 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/11/29/grateful.html#comment-4089854">comment from Dave BI rejoiced when I put his IP in the ban form.
Amy Alkon at December 2, 2013 1:53 PM
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