Heartbreaking: Boy Put In Storage Closet For Behavior Problems
Those in charge at this Christian school -- now out of business, according to a writeup at YouTube -- responded to this boy's behavioral problems by sticking him in a storage closet and coming to check on him every few hours.
The description at YouTube:
A family sues for the return of tuition money from Cornerstone Christian School (Clearlake, California) after there are allegations of abuse. Cornerstone Christian uses the ACE (Accelerated Christian Education) curriculum which is infamous for teaching that the Lochness monster disproves evolution. Update: the school appears to have (gone) out of business.
Absolutely hideous way to treat this boy. Yale Parenting Center's Dr. Alan Kazdin has humane and useful (as in, successful) tactics for improving difficult children's behavior and helping them fit in in mainstream classes. He has an excellent book out on this and points out that cruelties like this are not ways to help children but are actually damaging to them and counterproductive. Yay, Judge Judy.
A bit from Kazdin here from Slate:
You begin by deciding what you want the child to do, the positive opposite of whatever behavior you want to stop. The best way to get rid of unwanted behavior is to train a desirable one to replace it. So turn "I want him to stop having tantrums" into "I want him to stay calm and not to raise his voice when I say no to him."Then you tell the child exactly what you would like him to do. Don't confuse improving his behavior with improving his moral understanding; just make clear what behavior you're looking for and when it's appropriate, and don't muddy the waters by getting into why he should do it. "When you get mad at your sister, I want you to use words or come tell me about it or just get away from her. No matter what, I want you to keep your hands to yourself."
Whenever you see the child do what you would like, or even do something that's a step in the right direction, you not only pay attention to that behavior, but you praise it in specific, effusive terms. "You were angry at me, but you just used words. You didn't hit or kick, and that's great!" Add a smile or a touch--a hug, a kiss, a pat on the shoulder. Verbal praise grows more effective when augmented via another sense.
If you don't see enough of the desirable behavior, then you can work on it using simulation play. Wait for a peaceful moment and then propose an exercise. "Let's see whether you can stay calm and just use words when I say no to you. I'm going to say no--remember, this is just pretend--and you stay calm, OK?" You can even switch roles as part of the game. Most kids delight in playing the parent and saying no to the parent playing the child.
Your objective is to arrange for as much reinforced practice as possible, which means you want your child to have many opportunities to practice doing the right thing and then be reinforced in the habit by receiving rewards. Your praise is the most important reward, but you can also add little age-appropriate privileges (staying up for 15 more minutes before bedtime, choosing the menu for dinner), goodies (little five-and-dime gadgets for younger children, downloads or cell-phone minutes for older ones), or treats. And, yes, you reward successful let's-pretend simulation sessions, too. This won't go on forever. A brief but intensive period featuring lots of reinforced practice, often somewhere between a couple of weeks and a month, can make long-lasting or even permanent changes in a child's behavior.
Never had a problem getting a child to obey me. Don't have my own kids, but I've babysat nephews and nieces and friends' kids. Children always respected me because I respected them. When they pushed the limits, I let them know in a kind way that they shouldn't, and they stopped.
The worst parents I've seen are those who beat the hell out of the kids and those who jabber endlessly in an effort to spare the kids fatal ruination of their self-esteem.
I've known two people since birth. Both are in their twenties now. One was subjected to massive physical "discipline," and the other was allowed to run the entire house.
Both kids are identically disastrous. It's really amazing. One family is mega-conservative and the other mega-liberal, and their kids may as well have been raised by the same two chimps.
Thomas Wictor at November 29, 2013 11:51 PM
Same goes for me, Thomas. As Kazdin points out, neither approach works -- total freedom or authoritarian rule.
I recently had Edward Deci on my show about motivation and he talks similarly to Kazdin, and I don't recall, but I would bet some of Kazdin's work is based on Deci's research (about moving people to be intrinsically motivated while setting limits).
Amy Alkon at November 30, 2013 5:23 AM
When Jesus said to suffer the little children, he obviously meant 'punch them in the face'.
I see nothing wrong with this behavior. These adults own Bibbles, after all.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at November 30, 2013 9:15 AM
In most other settings this kind of action would warrant a visit from CPS and criminal charges being laid.
They were lucky.
Jim P. at November 30, 2013 12:45 PM
So why the hell would they take the case to Judge Judy instead of going to actual court?
Color me skeptical.
Elle at November 30, 2013 2:05 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/11/30/heartbreaking_b.html#comment-4086955">comment from ElleA lot of people aren't that savvy about the law or lawyers or how the process works. I see it pretty often -- usually the other way around, where people think some lawyer is going to get them big bucks when it seems pretty clear (to someone with me with a slightly more than passing knowledge of the law) that they have little or no case.
Amy Alkon
at November 30, 2013 2:10 PM
I LOVE Judge Judy. She is such a B****, but she is so right 99% of the time!
Susan at November 30, 2013 7:35 PM
I knew a lot of those organizations don't want kids to come out of the closet but...
I have seen parents of all strategies fail and succeed (OK, I am not familiar with any lock the kid in the closet). I think it is about 100% failure when parents don't agree. My childhood friend had that problem once his parents divorced. His mother was quite strict while his father was very permissive for the most part (back talk/sass was absolutely not allowed by either).
The Former Banker at November 30, 2013 9:36 PM
I like JJ and support her decision, but she was veering into Ad Hominem territory against the defendants, linking their education to their transgression. They could have had PhDs and still been ethical midgets.
DaveG at December 1, 2013 12:54 PM
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