Way back when my co-worker friend had a wife that was on the bipolar side. She'd give him hell for random things all the time.

I would hear the stories from him. That would inspire me to stop by the grocery store on the way home and pick up flowers or some other treat for my lady.

This would occur throughout the year.

My honey is doing an errand that takes a huge load off of my stress level, this afternoon.

My ex would (I can hear it in my head) say, "why do you need to do that? It's stupid." (It is, kinda, but there are reasons for the whole thing and I gave my word I'd help.) And he'd blow off the errand. He'd bring me flowers, though, and then get bent out of shape that I wouldn't slow down and be grateful for the attention. (Flowers? 5-10 minutes max. Errand? Easily an hour at quitting time / rush hour)

V-Day was specially-designed for lazy people. Just buy the card and the flowers (right in the front of every store), and you get to check off the "thoughtful" box.

From what I can see of it, playing the Valentine's Day game right is a matter of attitude. If you treat it as a chance to have a little goofy, romantic fun, you're probably on the right track, whether you buy diamonds, roses, candy, or a funny stuffed animal. If you treat Valentine's Day as a moral crusade, you're probably overdoing it, and as Miss Alkon says, you might want to pay a little more attention to how romantic you are the rest of the year.

For her part, Old RPM Mama doesn't much like flowers, and would rather buy the candy on clearance on the 15th. She's practical that way.

Whenever you share those stories about Greg's little surprises, it makes my heart melt. So sweet.

If you treat it as a chance to have a little goofy, romantic fun, you're probably on the right track

Yes, it can be a fun holiday. My boyfriend and I treat Valentine's Day as an excuse for a "stay"cation, shut out the world, and do what WE want to do. We put our phones on silent, say "no" to all other invitations, and do whatever we find most relaxing.

Tonight, we're stopping by the cafe our friend just opened up to have tea and cupcakes. Then, we're getting carryout, heading home and having an anime marathon.

We're not into Valentine's Day, but it is a good excuse to go buy a dry-aged steak at the store and indulge for dinner. Yum!

Like with anything, there are people who go off the rails with it. But my husband and I like to buy each other silly cards and go out to dinner. We don't go out much without the baby because sitters are expensive, but it's nice to have an excuse to splurge on some time away.

I like flowers, too. Sometimes he gets them, sometimes he doesn't. Supermarket flowers are pretty cheap and do just fine.

Tonight, I'm going out to dinner like I always do on Fridays, followed by a side trip to the bar for some beers.

I hope I don't retch over any saccharinely sweet romanticism.

Amy,

Nancy (wife) had to change health policy and I had to look at a gazillion policies and went blind. Stopped.

A friend of hers fell and broke her hip (common theme at our age) and (picture Tweety Bird) a light bulb appeared over my head.

Using her experience I narrowed down the coverage/deductibles/out-of-pocket costs fairly quickly by looking at:

1. Ambulance cost
2. Emergency Room cost
3. Hospital cost for 2 nights
4. X-Ray cost
5. Cost to review X-Ray
6. Rehabilitation cost for 14 days
7. OUR doctors being in the plan and cost/visit
8. Her prescriptions being the plan and annual cost.

Once I did the above on 2 plans it became real easy to jump around the different plans comparing things. Narrowed it down to 3 and slept on it. Went with a more expensive plan than what we have but w/no/little out-of-pocket costs (taking into account our age/clumsyiness).

Good luck.

Gregg, who is a literary researcher, said to me about three weeks ago, "I love data." He loves me, too == Amy Alkon at February 14, 2014 11:12 AM

So does he see you as a superior data point? :-p :-D

I love the little simple surprises like this

Nice going by Gregg with the ice cream surprise, and it's cool that you love little gestures like this, Amy.

...are either those whose partner buys into it

A lot of money rides on convincing people, especially female people, to buy into it. DeBeers has been tremendously successful at doing this with diamonds.

Marketing Diamonds:

The secret to De Beers' success is a marketing campaign that has permeated our culture --­convincing every woman that she should r­eceive a diamond ring from her fiancé and c­onvincing each groom-to-be to pay "two-months salary" for that ring to show how much his love is worth.

This idea of connecting diamonds to romance was captured in a brilliant ad campaign begun in the 1940s, causing demand for diamonds to increase. Surely you've heard the De Beers advertisement that "A Diamond is Forever." This ad campaign, which was created by the N.W. Ayer advertising agency in 1947, transformed the diamond market. In 2000, Advertising Age magazine named the ad campaign the slogan of the 20th century.

I've heard a lot of people complain about how over the top women's expectations are for Valentine's Day, but I don't actually know any women who want expensive gifts and are willing to break off a relationship if they don't get them. I wonder whether this is the behavior of a subset of very young women, or whether it might be an overblown complaint. I'm 35, and most of my friends either hate V-Day or like to do something low-key.

As for diamonds: The engagement ring for my second marriage consists of my birthstone, my husband's birthstone, and several small diamond chips to represent April, the month in which we got married. I wear it with my husband'd birthstone closest to my heart. It has meaning to me, but no one would guess it's an engagement ring. When I pass it on to my daughter, if she chooses to, she can wear it like any cocktail ring.

So I'm sitting at a traffic light on a big boulevard one summer's day, and five lanes away a young woman in a convertible BMW is screaming into her cellphone "I want a boyfriend who BUYS ME THINGS and TAKES ME PLACES - not just to MAUI!!!".

And triumphantly throws the phone to the car floor.

Yes, I've told this story many times, but it occurs to me: she's the person for whom Valentine's Day was invented. Also Sweetest Day. Buy Me Stuff Day. Do It Or Lose Me Day.

All of 'em.

Amy, that is a great ice cream love story. Thanks for sharing.

As far as my family goes, none of us are into Valentine's day. Most of the would be receivers would be like why did you waste so much money on trivial stuff when that money would have been better spent on the kids' clothes, food, etc.

I made the mistake of going to the farmer's market for produce yesterday, the place was mobbed by guys picking up flowers for Valentine's day.

Two thoughts were in my head as I waited in the checkout; Man, what a waste of money for so many flowers that will be dead in a week and wow, this market is really raking in the dough.

It's the advertising that's so annoying, and I have yet to see ONE ad about what a woman should get a man for Valentine's Day. But, this latest one I heard on the radio took the cake: "she says she doesn't want anything for Valentine's Day, but come on" or something to that effect, said in that wink wink nudge nudge way. As if a woman can't know her own mind and articulate what she does and doesn't want. That's insulting.