I once read a book that had a title along the lines of, "Let them call you a bitch; No one will try to take advantage of you."

Sometimes people are called bitches or pricks because they are actually being bitches or pricks.

Yes. I try to only be a bitch to the deserving.

I generally ask nicely first.

If I'm met with politeness and compliance or at least a civil explanation of why some behavior must continue, I'm polite. Even if I don't agree with the explanation.

If I get rudeness, I board my broom.

Along the lines of causticf's remark: if the first three people you meet in the morning are assholes, maybe it's not them.

On the other hand, saying "no" doesn't make you a bitch, prick or asshole.

I've been called a bitch more times than I can count. I work in industries where it’s important to have a thick skin so it doesn’t really phase me. Mostly, it’s because I refused to cow tow to someone who is treating me poorly or trying to take advantage of me and almost always by men who apparently expected me to wilt like a flower at the mere thought of a possible conflict. But, every now and then, it’s by another woman. I find it more hurtful when it’s another woman for some reason… I guess because I very much love and support my fellow ladies and it hurts me to see them cutting each other down. More than once, I’ve had to put a jerk in their place, publicly, when they were mistreating me or someone else and I’ve never regretted it. I have no tolerance for assholes and I certainly have no problems making a scene if necessary. When this happens around my husband he usually says “I didn’t marry a damsel, I married a fucking Warrior.”

A few times, however, I genuinely deserved to be called a bitch because I was having a bad day and taking it out on whomever was around. But that’s when its from friends who I trust to call me on my shit. We have a rule in our group: NO ASSHOLES. If someone is being an asshole, we call them out, they own it, apologize and we all move on. It really does keep things quite simple in our dealings with each other.

I've discovered something in the last year about myself in regards to being more of a "bitch" as well. Hubby and I have had a pretty craptastic couple of years recently. We are just starting to figure out our next steps and get back on our feet. If I walked away with anything positive, it was that my time, talent and recourses are precious and no one has a right to steal them from me. I rediscovered my spine in a big way this year and I gotta admit, it feels great. I’ve said “no” more this year than I think I have in quite a long time and I am not even the slightest bit sorry about it.

"If I walked away with anything positive, it was that my time, talent and recourses are precious and no one has a right to steal them from me. "

Indeed. Life is too short to have to spend very much of it dealing with stupid people.

I'm sure that sometimes women get called a "bitch" just because they fail to act like a doormat.

But other times, what causticf said.

I speak from experience. There were times I was a complete prick but would have said that I was responding to a situation and not being a doormat. My response was a hydrogen bomb when I simply could have defused the entire thing with some courtesy from my end. I could have just decided to let it go. Escalation does not always make it better.

I've found that trying to 'as a rule'

Not really familiar with Rebecca West, but I wonder if she'd be proud to associate with feminism if she saw what passes as a "feminist" today, e.g.:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XWjkqh85pw

Oops, left something out there. When I got married, I had a sort of strict 'rule' for myself 'never let myself be a doormat', but I found that I've had to ease up on that 'principle' sometimes and let some things go just to help keep the relationship functioning smoothly. Likewise with family. I don't know if it's good or bad. I guess the topic wasn't really about personal relationships.