Speaking of Viagra, that reminds me – I have to go donate blood so Pfizer can make more of that stuff...

Yea, well, if a guy curls his "hose" up like that he'll need more than Viagra to uncurl it. ouch!

This couple decides to get married and not have sex before the wedding night.

The guy says to the girl, "I have to tell you something so it doesn't shock you on our wedding night, I'm hung like a baby."

The girls says, "That's alright, I've been with some other guys who were small and I can live with it. She says back, "I have to tell you something as well, I've been stuffing my bra since I was a teenager."

The guys says that's fine because he's doesn't really care how large her chest is.

On their wedding night they are getting undressed and when the bride takes off her top all the tissues fall out because she was not lying about stuffing her bra.

She looks over at her husband and her eyes roll back into her head and she passes out.

When she wakes up her husband is there and the first thing she says is, "You lied to me. You said you were hung like a baby!"

He says "I am, 8 pounds 21 inches."

When I bought the pocket hose I told my wife, do you want to see a hose that gets an erection?