Table Manners 101: I Did Include Just A Few
My book, "Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck," is largely science-based (but readable and funny) tips on human behavior. I did give about 10 basic table manners tips for anyone raised in a cave by wild animals. For example:
What really matters, once you've mastered the basic basics, is how you treat other people while you're at the table.
AMY ALKON, APPLIED BEHAVIORAL SCIENCE AUTHOR, SPEAKER, NATIONALLY SYNDICATED COLUMNIST
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4.37
To avoid awkward moments around my dinner table, I only put out sporks.
jerry at July 2, 2014 9:07 AM
Dating Behavior
There is a utensil on the table. You don't know what it is for.
Good: (Amy's advice)
Bad: (loud voice, wave utensil in the air) Oh waiter! Waiter! What the hell is this thing for?
Bad: (to companion) I think this is a torture device from the movie Hannibal.
Bad: (to waiter) I have no use for this. I expect the food to be killed in the kitchen.
Bad: Attempt to use it to attach the napkin to your shirt.
Ugh: (to companion, joking) Is this for some female thing?
Ugh: (make twisted face, hold utensil near stomach) Say "euh, euh" enacting the torture scene from Braveheart.
Andrew_M_Garland at July 2, 2014 3:40 PM
Sometimes the training simply does not 'take'.
And this is why we keep the cork on the fork.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at July 2, 2014 7:51 PM
I inherited a bunch of silverware and there are some weird pieces I have no idea what to do with.
NicoleK at July 3, 2014 12:05 AM
http://www.silverqueen.com/Sterling-Silver-Flatware/individual.asp
Here ya go NicoleK.
Isab at July 3, 2014 5:31 AM
Thanks, Isab, now I'm wondering if there's a utensil for larks' tongues in aspic ...
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at July 3, 2014 9:47 AM
To Isab,
The Asparagus Tongs win "Most Specific". The Butter/Nut Pick wins the Hannibal Lecter prize.
Andrew_M_Garland at July 3, 2014 10:28 AM
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