Cargo Cult Science, by Richard Feynman:

http://bit.ly/1vXJeAb

No, don't know why it came to mind. Last night was Saturday, which is like Friday for me only more so, because I work until nearly midnight and then the work week ends. And I go to the favorite dive bar for a glass of cheap cab and ask where's the pretty bartender? And they said relax, she went home to Pennsylvania for a wedding... She'll be back next week. (Phew… Girl's so pretty I even like her boyfriend, and he's less fun to look at.)

That's the only connection I can think of... And that's stoopit, because she's from Pittsburgh.

But for some damn reason I woke up thinking about Philadephia Freedom, which…

…Which is weird, because Elton John is not someone I ever liked very much. All his shitty stuff got pounded into our brains back in the day, when there were only a couple of rock radio stations, so it was easy to hate him for taking up space from better talents.

But the guy's been famous since I was 11... He is frick-ing beloved. Now, eventually, the abyss looks into you etc., and you ought to have some understanding of why certain talents have moved your generation so deeply. If you can't spare the heartbeats to do that, then your soul is granite... You don't have to think the most popular thing is the best, you just ought to understand why it happened.

Therefore, as a gesture of good faith, I will list for you now the three best Elton John songs of all time. Sadly, these entries are not subject to negotiation... You must agree with this list, otherwise you're wrong. Of course, you can compose your own list, but people will probably laugh at you, and you'll deserve it.



The List

The 3 Best Elton John Songs are:

1. Blue Eyes

2. Philadephia Freedom

3. Nikita

Discussion

First, we note that these are the three Elton John songs with the best, funnest, I-wish-I-could-do-that bass lines… Each has moments where the guy is just poppin' that thang, and the songs all come from the (larger) period of John's career when he could afford skilled players who'd give him their best.

Secondly, these are three of his best vocal performances. This guy is not a blessed singer... And Brits of his generation often poisoned their catalogs by doing the fake Southern Rural United States Negro thing— Trimming the G's off words like "Trimmin'," and always swapping "ah" for "eye." It's embarrassing to hear that... But in these songs, he keeps that stuff in check, and he makes a sincere effort to hit the notes. That was important in the times before autotune.

One last point— Whether he was a great singer or not, I can't think of a performer in Sinatra's generation who wrote as many memorable, or even just popular, songs. That's a big score for the rock 'n roll era. (See also Big Mac, Wonder, Gibb, maybe others.)

OK, so it's not free… But you can send it anywhere in the world, that's what I meant. I won't forbid you from sharing it with Muslims or the Burmese or anything. Just don't forget my dollar.

1.) Madman across the water
2.) Funeral for a friend \ Love lies bleeding
3.) Sixty years on

How dare you.

1. Cold
2. I Want Love
3. Shine On Through - from the 'A Single Man' album

"Levon"

What the hell's the matter with you?

Given the wide range of the emotions his song provoke, I'd say his 'best' songs say more about the person making the list

How was your Saturday night?

The part that hurts is that the list of hacked internet beauties is long, but I'd only heard of two of 'em.

Starting to wonder if people should think twice about taking Nakey™ pictures of their sweethearts.