Sometimes, You Should Feel Free To Shut The Hell Up
Free speech is an essential right. However...
Another fine quote from "Good Manners For Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck":
Can you think of any remarks some person in your life just had to get out that, really, would have been far better kept in their cage?
A couple (both friends of mine) recently had a baby. While at a party, another friend of ours said to them, out of nowhere and totally umprompted:
"I would never want to be a parent. I just booked flights to Korea! Way better than changing diapers!"
OK fine. I'm not a parent either, because there are certain life changes I'm not ready to make.
But come on. This comment was especially insensitive because this couple were avid travelers and had just confided to me that they're sad they have to take a break from it. Also, reducing raising a kid (an adventure of a different kind) to changing diapers is super insulting.
sofar at October 23, 2014 8:55 AM
People sometimes feel bad for thinking thoughts like that. Believe me, I think thoughts like that. This is normal and human. But it really helps to put a kindness filter in front of your mouth.
As I write in "Good Manners For Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck", at the root of manners is empathy. It really doesn't take much to employ it.
Amy Alkon at October 23, 2014 9:18 AM
It seems like a lot of people make a big deal out of changing the diapers when you have a new baby. Anybody who's an experienced parent will tell you that is the lowest rung on the challenge ladder. Sure, there's a little smell and a little mess, but once you get good at it, it's over and done with in one minute.
Fayd at October 23, 2014 9:19 AM
This is why I love the Fifth Amendment: I have the right to shut the hell up.
Also, as was uttered in "Three Men and a Baby", how can something so small and so cute produce so much of something that smells so bad?
I R A Darth Aggie at October 23, 2014 9:23 AM
Regarding diapers, babies who are breast fed are almost odor free. It doesn't really start to smell until they start with solid food.
Jay R at October 23, 2014 11:32 AM
As Ron White says in one of his comedy riffs," I had the right to remain silent but I didn't have the ability."
Many times we say things we would love to pull back but that damn time machine just don't work.
causticf at October 23, 2014 1:42 PM
Even with the bottle fed it is usually odor free. Smell is usually a sign of gastric distress. And even after solid food smell can be minimized by providing food with few preservatives.
I had a roommate with a 2 year old that lived on prepackaged foods. You know the ones where you unwrap the little bun, then unwrap the little meat, then unwrap ... When that kid went it was time to burn the house down. Or nuke it from orbit. After all, that is the only way to be sure.
Ben at October 23, 2014 3:00 PM
Eh, all these childfree types that obsess about diapers are missing the target. I'm not saying I'd rather change diapers than lounge on a beach in the Caribbean drinking a piña colada or anything, but diapers are not really a big deal once you've been doing them for a short while. Ever had a pet you love? Ever noticed that the bodily fluid cleanup just recedes in importance? Yeah, it's like that with small humans...
...until you have to try to transition them OUT of diapers. Now THAT is the ordeal.
Anyway, in my experience, people who are really happy with and sure in their decisions don't feel the need to denigrate those of others, assuming significant ethical issues aren't involved. I roll my eyes at the childed who talk loudly about just how meaningless their lives were before breeding and at the childfree who talk loudly about how lame life with children must be. Happy people may be blunt, but that's not the same as being rude.
marion at October 23, 2014 7:11 PM
Since someone mentioned the Fifth Amendment. . . one of my favorite TV lines was from a cop (I forget which cop on which show) to a mouthy suspect:
"You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right, I will break your arm."
Rex Little at October 23, 2014 10:45 PM
"Can you think of any remarks some person in your life just had to get out that, really, would have been far better kept in their cage?"
Not someone I knew personally, but... John Rocker was actually a very good baseball pitcher and had a promising career in front of him, if he had been able to keep his mouth shut.
Cousin Dave at October 24, 2014 6:44 AM
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