The Catcalling Gap: In NYC, It's A Race And Class Thing
In TIME, Kay Hymowitz gets into what some have touched on -- how "street harassment is largely a class thing. In New York ... that means it's also a race thing":
Young women who tense up as they approach a construction site know full well that walking past the guys who drive the fork lift will almost surely result in some unwanted attention; walking past the architects who are pouring over the blueprints probably won't.The catcalling gap will make sense to anyone who has noticed that middle class men and women tend to have a different physical and sexual presentation than their less privileged peers. Psychologists have long known that there are marked class differences in child rearing that can explain this. Preparing their children for office and stable domestic life, middle class parents have always nudged their children to display what was once known as "bourgeois propriety." The term doesn't seem to fit an America where, as the "Advice Goddess" Amy Alkon has said, even "nice people say f-k." But middle class homes continue to encourage their children to use their "inside voices," to demonstrate bodily self-discipline (one reason obesity has become a class marker), to play nice, and to soften the rough edges of male physicality. They ban toy guns from their homes and petition schools to prohibit dodgeball and other "human target" games.
Lower income parents tend to be less "proper" in their childrearing, dispensing more physical punishment and shrugging off rough and tumble play. The difference shows up in school where lower income kids, particularly boys, have more trouble sitting still, paying attention, and keeping quiet; educators consistently report they have more behavior problems. It should come as no surprise that these same boys grow up to become men who are more blatantly, and for middle class women especially, more obnoxiously, interested in every passing young thing. In rare but important instances this goes well beyond obnoxious; lower income men (and women) are also more likely than middle class to be involved in domestic violence disputes.
The catcalling gap creates some cognitive dissonance for promoters of the idea of "white male privilege." If men of color and working class dudes are the biggest offenders, then middle class (mostly white) are the good -- or at least the less bad -- guys. Middle class men may no longer open doors for women or help them carry heavy suitcases, but most of them would be mortified to hear a friend shout "Hey baby; shake that thing!" to passing strangers as they rush to take their poli-sci class or make their 10 a.m. project meeting.
...When [middle-class white women] move to a chaotic, multicultural city ... especially if they venture into Harlem and Times Square, they find themselves bumping up against all types -- blue collar and poor men, immigrants and children of immigrants, men whose parents may not have raised them to treat women with the sort of restraint their own brothers and fathers do. And they don't like it one bit.
Because Kay has a sense of humor, she heads-upped me about this in a way I loved:
@KayHymowitz
Hey baby, make sure you read my piece on catcalling-gate.
I of course tweeted those kissing noises back -- the ones construction workers in New York City make to you as you're walking down the sidewalk. (I know, I know...amazing how I managed to survive so many years of such terrible spoken-word sidewalk trauma without ending up in a psychiatric hospital!)
Sadly, however, America gone weenie -- weeniemen, weeniewomen, probably even weeniedogs, and I don't just mean the dachshunds.
Oh, wait -- not all men and women. PPen -- like Kay Hymowitz -- gets it, commenting in my previous post on the catcalling video:
One thing to admire about black and Hispanic culture is the men don't sit around and ponder whether a man should be asking a woman out. They just do it.Black and Hispanic women on the other hand don't sit around and ponder whether they are being harassed by men hustling dates. If they're annoyed they'll just tell a dude to fuck the hell off.
Likewise, if some guy had been walking in tandem with me down the street, like in that video, I would have screamed at him in a way that would have shriveled a number of his organs.
Where all of these people looking to criminalize speech -- catcalls, even! -- go wrong (besides in having a very short memory of the contents of the First Amendment) is in acting like the "victims" of catcalls must be protected by some force outside themselves. (Protected from life getting too "lifey" -- to borrow from one of Andrew Sullivan's blog commenters I quoted in my post from yesterday.)
As I've been noting recently, women, increasingly, demand to be treated as eggshells instead of equals.
The way to empower women, on the other hand, is to tell them they're powerful and to act like it, damn it...which is the antithesis of what so many women, especially white, middle-class women, are being told these days.
"Likewise, if some guy had been walking in tandem with me down the street, like in that video, I would have screamed at him in a way that would have shriveled a number of his organs."
Exactly this. While the catcalls are low class; and I mean that in both meanings of the phrase; the walking alongside someone for several minutes is very creepy. And calling out the creep would have been more of a "hollerback" than posting a video claiming "look at poor me."
Charles at November 5, 2014 2:20 AM
WTF?? They day men stop cat-calling at me is the day I have to admit I'm no longer attractive to the opposite sex! And I hope that day never comes...
Even when I worked in construction myself (I was an electrical apprentice for a few years, and I can still wire in series and in parallel), if I got unwanted attention from someone, I just told 'em to fuck off. Of course, it was easy for me because my crew backed me up. I could bend pipe with the best of 'em!
Flynne at November 5, 2014 4:51 AM
That's what my dad said to me -- worry when they stop thinking you're attractive.
The pathetic thing about this is how pathetic they're encouraging women to be. No, "Seize power!" It's "Let's get laws passed to stop free speech so a police officer can act on your behalf."
Amy Alkon at November 5, 2014 5:40 AM
The catcall experiment redone in New Zealand:
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/life-style/news/video.cfm?c_id=1503081&gal_cid=1503081&gallery_id=146448
Amy Alkon at November 5, 2014 5:43 AM
I suspect this is also a NY vs. LA/walking town vs. driving town thing, but here -- "Watch This 50-Something Woman Be Virtually Invisible While Walking Around For A Day"
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-goichandreadis/older-woman-walks-around-invisible_b_6084198.html
Again, men pursue young, fertile women. They don't catcall older women for the same reason very few grannies are raped (most rape vics, per Thornhill and Palmer, are young, fertile women).
Amy Alkon at November 5, 2014 6:10 AM
I'm not young, and most of the time, I can go about my day without anyone pestering me (except for the weirdo at 5th and Spring who wanted to buy Darvon from me) but if I wear a skirt and heels, there's always some man who feels I need to know that he likes my ass or legs or something. Mamacita! I usually just ignore them, but I'm not a dainty flower.
kateC at November 5, 2014 6:19 AM
And calling out the creep would have been more of a "hollerback" than posting a video claiming "look at poor me."
I have read a lot of people calling out the woman in the video, calling her a raging feminist, etc. She was an actress, hired to do this for the day. The video was conceived, edited, and released by a guy.
But I know it's more fun to rag on the chicks.
(Aside from that nit, I generally agree with the positions of most of the posters here.)
Astra at November 5, 2014 9:12 AM
But I know it's more fun to rag on the chicks.
But she took the job? and she got paid the agreed upon amount? and is now trying to parlay that into something resembling 15 minutes of fame?
Yeah, I'm all out of sympathy...
I R A Darth Aggie at November 5, 2014 9:24 AM
I don't understand why you should care when they stop catcalling? As I read on here frequently, it's called self-esteem, not what-other-people-think-of-me-esteem.
I don't need men I don't know "complimenting" me to feel hot. I think I'm hot and the person I'm fucking thinks I'm hot so I don't understand this need for validation from strangers.
Just because some people like it doesn't mean other people should be grateful for it. I'm pretty grumpy and reserved so I don't really care to smile and make chit chat w/randos on the street so if they don't like it oh well. Nobody is owed my attention/acknowledgment except for my employer when I'm at work and the people I care about.
LL at November 6, 2014 8:01 PM
"I just told 'em to fuck off. Of course, it was easy for me because my crew backed me up. I could bend pipe with the best of 'em!"
As someone who never got very good at bending EMT, I tip my hat to you!
Cousin Dave at November 7, 2014 9:28 AM
In the New Zealand catcall video only two men spoke to the girl, and one of them only asked for directions. I think the New Zealand actress was cuter than the New York actress too.
Ken R at November 8, 2014 12:04 AM
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