Blame "The Patriarchy"! (Beats Working)
A friend wrote me about a 20-something female employee in her workplace who goes on about "the patriarchy."
My reply: "The patriarchy"?! Women (like her) grew up in the land of opportunity, the freest country in the world, at the time women have it better than at any time in history.
But rather than having identity through accomplishment (takes work, ick!), women like this one have it through shared whining.
Somebody should open whine lodges (like sweat lodges) for feminist women. They'd make a mint.
Geezer reminiscence: I came up in the world pretty much right after the first significant wave of women in technology. Really, at the same time as all this new technology (that we take for granted now) was beginning. There were all kinds of opportunities. I recognized at the time, in college, that I was part of something unique. It was kinda hard not to notice that I was the only young woman in a sea of a hundred or more young men, in some of my classes. I was one of a second wave of women - we got a huge advantage by following behind those first trailblazing women. In large part because of them, I never felt like I had to be "better than a man". I just had to be as good as anyone else. What I'm trying to say is, it took all the stuff that success takes (work, time, brains, education, etc...) - but I never felt handicapped by being a woman in technology.
But the patriarchy thing - I see that in the 17-year-old I talk to regularly. I try to lead by example, with her. I make sure to discuss a concrete thing from my work life, when she brings up some concept somebody fed her that doesn't match my reality... But often it feels like a losing battle - she is so dang *sure* that the deck is stacked against her.
flbeachmom at January 21, 2015 9:55 AM
@flbeachmom:
Keep talking but unfortunately failure is a huge part of being successful so a negative attitude dooms her (and others w/similar attitudes) to a sad poor life.
Bob in Texas at January 21, 2015 10:45 AM
Yea, I had a coworker who would go on and on about "white males just don't get it."
Now imagine if I, a white male, had said something like that about "minority females"?
I would have been fired, and properly so.
But, what happened to her? Well, it speaks volumes that she still works there and I don't.
It was my choice to leave; but, it was because I was tired of picking up her slack and getting grief for being "a white males who doesn't get it" while management turned a blind eye to her behavior.
charles at January 21, 2015 11:41 AM
Re: whine lodges.
They're called ... colleges.
Old Guy in Whiiter at January 21, 2015 11:43 AM
Put another way, as my daughter in college told me: The gender studies majors aren't the ones working with her in the dining hall.
Old RPM Daddy (OldRPMDaddy at GMail dot com) at January 21, 2015 12:04 PM
"They're called ... colleges." Old Guy in Whiiter
So very true..
Joe J at January 21, 2015 12:36 PM
I like to chuckle at the term "The Patriarchy". It conjures up an image of a group of old men with long white beards and white robes, complete with a fez. They would sit around a table at their secret Patriarchs' lodge while drinking root beer and making up edicts that benefit men at the expense of women. These edicts would be sent out to men around the world from some Patriarchy Central, and men would get Male Privileges™ cards issued to them just for being born male. Meanwhile, the Knights of the Patriarchal Order would ride around on horseback to spread Patriarchy all over the world!
An example of one such edict: "Men, go ahead and leave the toilet seat up. Your wife can jolly well put it down herself!" Pretty cool if you're male, huh?
Sadly, I've heard from many men that say they haven't been getting the privileges that are their birthright, and that they're somewhat miffed that us Patriarchs haven't invited them to their meetings. Us guys at The Patriarchy will have to work on that one.
The Jolly Patriarch at January 21, 2015 12:46 PM
but unfortunately failure is a huge part of being successful so a negative attitude dooms her (and others w/similar attitudes) to a sad poor life.
_______________________________
I suspect a big part of the problem is that which Amy Dacyczyn talked about a great deal in "The Complete Tightwad Gazette," even if she never gave it a name. That is, too many American kids grow up believing (as do their parents, sometimes) that life is now supposed to be easy, what with computers and all, and only dumb people have to do anything physically hard or mentally tedious. Not to mention that many also believe, deep down, that the only real purpose of working full-time is so as to have as much time and money for one's favorite useless pursuits as possible. I.e., USEFUL hobbies - such as carpentry or gourmet cooking - can't REALLY be considered fun, because they require real effort. At any rate, many parents certainly set a bad example when it comes to teaching kids that a work ethic is about more than just assigned work, per se; it's something you have to choose to develop in your leisure time as well.
So when life doesn't work that way, people start looking for a convenient scapegoat. (Young men do this too - often, men who worked hard in school and who forget that they already had a leg up because they went to private school, so they suspect the people they now have to compete with of not working as hard as they did, when that may not be the case.)
lenona at January 21, 2015 1:17 PM
Aaand this is what has me seeing red today
The flaw in this logic is that no matter how hard women strive, no matter how smart or what levels of excellence they achieve, there are still societal barriers preventing many women from achieving equity. Because I am a woman, I am feeling the human cost of the Coalition's policy."
She's whining about being a contract worker without a permanent public sector job. Can't start a family until she gets access to maternity leave, etc. The project I was working on just got cancelled, which happens, so I have to look for a new job. My heart bleeds for her - not.
http://www.theage.com.au/comment/public-service-recruitment-freeze-keeps-canberra-locked-into-uncertainty-20150118-12sj7x.html
Ltw at January 21, 2015 2:56 PM
"Sadly, I've heard from many men that say they haven't been getting the privileges that are their birthright, and that they're somewhat miffed that us Patriarchs haven't invited them to their meetings. Us guys at The Patriarchy will have to work on that one."
I'm glad you got my mail. Still waiting for my members card that guarantees me: extra pay for the exact same work; safety when walking alone at night; a membership in the Old Boys Club; and a key to the executive washroom where there's never any waiting. Could you speed it up a bit?
Matt at January 21, 2015 4:29 PM
This is what I ranted about my sister a few stories back. The amazing thing to me is women of accomplishment have these same hookups. It is just like Chris Rock complaining he wasn't as rich as Bill Gates, so obviously the white man was keeping him down. All those white people who made less than him just didn't count. It is a culture of victimhood. Facts don't matter.
And the indoctrination doesn't start in college. It starts in 2nd grade. College just puts the finishing polish on it.
This is also why I used the cooking test for dating. A huge part of modern feminism victimhood is about not getting trapped in a kitchen. So girls who take in that victim culture intentionally never learn how to cook. This is a majorly stupid idea.
1. No one is getting forced to cook in these days.
2. Everyone needs to eat. Learning how to cook lets you eat healthy, cheap, and nutritious food.
If Chef Boyardee is the best you can do it is a major red flag for me. This typically signals someone looking for a servant instead of a partner.
Ben at January 21, 2015 7:02 PM
The Patriarchy?
That's nothing.
Far worse is the Patrijughyad.
JD at January 21, 2015 8:51 PM
I wrote a book about a woman who decided this was bullshit...so far a lot of female readers love the hell out of it.
http://www.amazon.com/Margin-Play-Eckart-Mysteries-Book-ebook/dp/B00DVR32OK/ref=pd_sim_kstore_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=1WQ3QPQCHY85NTNRZEKQ
Eric Plume at January 21, 2015 11:07 PM
I remember seeing some loony feminist "march" with a woman holding a sign that said "Smash the Patriarchy!" My question was "What then?" As soon as you tell me what's going ensure from such a "smashing," I will begin to listen. Otherwise such nonsense is to be rightly ignored.
BlogDog at January 22, 2015 11:55 AM
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