Meet Mr. Or Ms. Texthole: "Life Must Stop So I Can Text Someone!"
I came to an intersection this morning just as this really old man got there.
Seeing his advanced age and having gotten used to these jerks who meander across the street while texting, I expected a wait similar to that of the Israelis when they were on hold to get into The Promised Land.
I expected wrong.
The guy -- probably in his late eighties -- actually scampered (yes, scampered) across the street.
Because he was so old and because he was wearing a jaunty hat, the way he scampered was actually the cutest thing to see.
He first looked my way -- saw there was a car waiting to turn -- and, surely because of that, hurried across the intersection.
About twenty minutes later, I arrived at the coffeeshop, where people were impeded from getting to the water and coffee fixings by some 40-something buttmunch texting into his phone. And not just for a second. For a couple of minutes.
Consider the message being sent in each case:
Old man:
Other people are important!
40-something butt-munch:
Other people don't exist.
Thanks, I'll take the old dude.
For science-based advice (served up with bitey humor) on how to avoid being a buttmunch, please order my book, "Good Manners For Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck" (around $11 at Amazon). (Also at Barnes & Noble.)
I had a nice conversation with a student yesterday who blew through a stop sign into my path. "But it's campus," she said, so I pointed out that she would still lose any interaction between my car and her bike despite the hallowed location.
One drives very carefully in a location with 50,000 students all meandering hither and yon via their feet, bikes, skateboards, etc.
Astra at March 26, 2015 10:24 AM
I love people like that Amy. As they arent interested in making a transaction I just step in front of them.
lujlp at March 26, 2015 10:59 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2015/03/26/post_22.html#comment-5928292">comment from lujlpUnfortunately, he wasn't in the transaction area to cut in front of.
Amy Alkon at March 26, 2015 11:11 AM
One drives very carefully in a location with 50,000 students all meandering hither and yon via their feet, bikes, skateboards, etc.
Yes. Especially if you're a dirty ol' man like me, and a sizable number of the coeds are of the young and fertile variety. And now that it is warm, in various stages of undress. Not complaining, just trying to not run off the road and into a tree.
Wut?
Someone should have shouldered past the guy. I was looking for youtube clips of US Coast Guard ships shoulding protest boaters out of the way, because it isn't very gentle.
I R A Darth Aggie at March 26, 2015 1:32 PM
Especially if you're a dirty ol' man like me, and a sizable number of the coeds are of the young and fertile variety. And now that it is warm, in various stages of undress.
I'm a middle-aged chick and they just look young to me these days, like who let these kids out of the house young.
I'll grant you, some of them look quite, um, taut.
Astra at March 26, 2015 2:16 PM
Lately, and against what I've always said I would never do, I've just pushed past people blocking the sidewalk or worse the ramp/stairs going to the train.
I'm tired of missing my train and then waiting an extra 40 minutes because of some asshole who ignores the rushing commuters around them to do their text/phone/whatever device thing blocking others.
Of course, I always say "excuse me" in a voice loud enough for them and even others to hear. It is when I get no response that I've taken to just pushing.
And, truth be told, many people have always been so self-absorbed. The phones just give them another reason to be.
Just yesterday after work I had to ask a guy to step out from in front of the elevator button on our floor so I could push the down button. (I knew he wasn't going down because of the lack of coat and a notebook like he was heading to a meeting upstairs - our floor is the lowest floor serviced by those elevators) And, boy, did he act like I did something wrong!
charles at March 26, 2015 5:20 PM
"I'm a middle-aged chick and they just look young to me these days, like who let these kids out of the house young."
I get the same reaction sometimes... "When did they start letting 13-year-olds into college?"
Cousin Dave at March 27, 2015 7:30 AM
And, boy, did he act like I did something wrong!
Posted by: charles at March 26, 2015 5:20 PM
Well, don't hold back - what did he say? Or do?
lenona at March 27, 2015 10:08 AM
I'm actually more concerned about the elderly gentleman who was "scampering" across the street. I wouldn't want him to fall and hurt himself.
Patrick at March 27, 2015 2:19 PM
40-something butt-munch
That was Richard Belzer, in a new role.
JD at March 28, 2015 9:47 AM
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