Just Like Homework For Your Kindergartener, Sexual Harassment Training Doesn't Work -- And May Backfire
The Real Evil HR Lady, Suzanne Lucas, compares sexual harassment training to homework assigned in the lower grades:
The principal flat-out admitted that all the research showed that homework in the lower grades was worthless for the student, but that they assigned it because the parents wanted it....What about the corporate harassment training? Well, the purpose of that is financial. If John harasses Jane and your company hasn't done any sexual harassment training, Jane's lawyer is going to use that as a way to prove that your company allowed this type of behavior.
So, we hold our training to be able to stand up in court and say, "We did everything we could." Saying you did something sounds a whole lot better than saying "We know training doesn't work, so we did nothing." A jury is going to hear "We don't care about sexual harassment." The purpose of the stupid action? Covering our corporate rear ends.
The reality is, doing something isn't always better than doing nothing.
Jack Robinson reports at HREOnline that esearch has found that sexual harassment training can backfire, leading to a backlash in males.
I'd be pissed as a woman because I find it infantilizing. I want men to joke around with me and I want to joke around with them. If I'm offended, I'm not a helpless baby bird; I'll say something. (I'm unlikely to be offended.)
Robinson reports that other research has found that sexual-harassment training mostly inspires fear among workers.
Yes, that's the kind of workplace you really want -- one where your workers are afraid to say anything or be creative, lest they lose their jobs over it.
The civil service people tell me about the DoD's sexual harassment training (mercifully, us contractors aren't required to take it). A comment I hear a lot is, "If you want to know how to sexually harass someone, they'll teach you."
This is one of the many "corporate citizen" things these days that accounts for why so many people describe their jobs as "soul-crushing". Everybody is walking on eggshells, because you never know what might get you in trouble. Better not to take the chance. Camaraderie of any sort is risky.
Employees are told, "When you come to work, leave your personality at home". They respond with, "Okay, then when I go home for the evening, work stays on my desk." Productivity suffers. I used to work in a place where they had a department of draftsmen (and women) who were hourly employees. Their supervisor demanded a nose-to-the-grindstone attitude, policing their bathroom breaks, demanding that there be no non-work conversations, et cetera. Their shift ended at 5:00. By 5:01, the place was empty. Productivity suffered. Us engineers knew it was a bad environment, and we had words with management about it any number of times, but nothing was ever done.
Cousin Dave at May 23, 2016 6:32 AM
When I worked at Ogilvy & Mather, back in my early 20s, things were so different. Work was so much fun and we were pretty wild. There was a bar at work and we'd stay late. WPP bought the company and the attitude changed -- and I got out of the office lots earlier, as did lots of people.
Amy Alkon at May 23, 2016 6:53 AM
There are three unisex bathrooms at the gym I joined.
About a year into membership, the owner got a partner who thought he would focus on growing revenue.
His first idea? Try to get more women in.
Up went the signs in the bathroom: "We have female members. Please put the seat down."
I have come to the conclusion that women are so inept that they are incapable of looking at a toilet and will simply jump right into it. Like children, they lack control of their basic bodily functions.
So, I make sure to get my double plus white knight points and never lift the lid.
That's how sexual harassment training works, too - the average guy who just wants to get through the day so he can get his money, when spoken down to by some HR c--t, is only going to look for little spiteful ways to work out the hate.
As Vernon Reid said as much in funny vibe - once you treat somebody like that enough, the best he can do is to try not to hate you.
ElVerdeLoco at May 23, 2016 7:11 AM
When I still worked at MegaEngineeringCorp, we used to dread the annual 'Ethics Training' sessions. Like ChiCom 're-education', attendance was mandatory, and consisted of the most-amazingly stupid vignettes of behavior so grossly outrageous that you would have to be some sort of lower-order flatworm not to tick the box that said 'Yes. This is Unethical Behavior'.
We all had to go to this because, 10 years previous, some silly-ass sales wonk at another division had got the company into trouble with the Feds over some procurement matter or other. Apparently, hookers and blow were involved. As part of the settlement with the Feds, we all had to take classes to teach us not to buy H&B for Government employees.
At which, one of my colleagues remarked 'We have to go to this training because somebody, somewhere, once used company resources to buy H&B? Hah! Chance would be a fine thing!'
Oh. boy. Did he have a bad day, thereafter and for several days to come. I suspect he was lucky to keep his job.
And the following year, sure enough, in addition to the 36 different ways they instructed us NOT to use company resources to purchase H&B, there were a further 23 vignettes instructing us all 'and don't joke about it, either!'
With the exact end-result described - all empoyees (male and female) ended up in fear of any and every thing that might end up being perceived, ever, as having any element of SH whatsoever.
As did I. I liked working there, I tried never to disrespect any of my co-workers, and life was too short to screw it up with some off-hand remark or clumsy expression that would lead to ghastly trouble for all concerned.
On my last day there, I walked to a lot of places to say goodbye to people I had worked with, some for nigh-on 30 years. Several of the AA women in production shared a hug with me - a thing I would never have done if I had any intention of staying working there. Even then, they understood the optics all-too-well - I shared a hug with one lady, a big gal known to all simply as 'Tee', who had this nickname tattoo-ed up the side of her neck, just to make it clear. And she said 'F--k-it, y'all, we're going to hug, I don't care, because y'all know I like girls, not boys, and anyway, if he was harassing me by hugging me, y'all know I'd just kick his ass anyway.'
Pretty sad state of affairs when a whole group of grown men and women who have known each other for decades are reduced to having to behave this way.
llater,
llamas
llamas at May 23, 2016 7:25 AM
My boyfriend sometimes leaves the seat up, but I only thought of this because of the note about the toilet seats above. I barely notice this -- I just remembered it visually from the other night.
That's because this toilet seat leaver-upper is my boyfriend who goes and gets me groceries and cooks wonderful dinners for me, spends hours on my computer problems, and is so sweet to me in so many ways.
I think it's unlikely he's leaving it up just to fuck with me. And really, it's the 21st Century and I have indoor plumbing and truly miraculous technology. Putting a toilet seat lid down occasionally is not a big deal.
Women make it a symbolic deal -- sometimes because there's something wrong in their relationships; sometimes because they're told they should consider this a terrible offense.
Perspective, ladies, perspective.
*I do hate putting down toilet seats in public bathrooms because I don't like to touch them. But there's toilet paper for that, so, no, NOT A BIG DEAL!
Amy Alkon at May 23, 2016 7:30 AM
"Several of the AA women in production shared a hug with me - a thing I would never have done if I had any intention of staying working there."
How sick is this, that this is what's become of our workplaces? Thanks, feminism!
Amy Alkon at May 23, 2016 7:31 AM
"Several of the AA women in production shared a hug with me - a thing I would never have done if I had any intention of staying working there."
How sick is this, that this is what's become of our workplaces? Thanks, feminism!"
The really-sick part is that all those people - Tee, Ronnie, Shirley, Gayle, Susie - all needed a 5-gallon bucket, just to hold all the sh*ts they didn't give about this sort of thing. Shirley was likely old enough to be my grandmother, and I'm no youngster. But they all knew, as did I, that the issue wasn't that we shared a hug - they didn't care. They worked production every day, they knew who they liked and who they didn't and - like I said - if I'd hugged Tee against her will, she'd have sent me home in a cast. No, the issue was not what we did - grown-ups all - but rather, that some passing prodnose would see us and file a grievance, claiming a 'hostile work environment'. And then we'd all be for the high jump. Well, they wouldn't, because they were all UAW members, and the union would ensure that they kept their jobs and suffered no real negative consequences. But they know that it could cost me my job. In this way, the fear of individualized punishment turns the whole place into a complicit collective, where everybody suppresses themselves equally in order to prevent unequal outcomes. In one way, it's actually quite heartening, in a subversive sort of way. But it's still a shame.
llater,
llamas
llamas at May 23, 2016 7:53 AM
Meanwhile the Senior VPs get a pass on everything including incompetence.
Bob in Texas at May 23, 2016 8:00 AM
Why are men supposed to put the seat back down? Why aren't women supposed to put the seat back up? Why does anybody need to do anything? Aren't we all supposed to be equal?
Jim Simon at May 23, 2016 8:04 AM
" Aren't we all supposed to be equal?"
Some animals are more equal than others.
dee nile at May 23, 2016 8:08 AM
Why are men supposed to put the seat back down? Why aren't women supposed to put the seat back up? Why does anybody need to do anything? Aren't we all supposed to be equal?
That's always been my question; who says seat-down is "correct"? If anything is correct, it seems to me, it would be both seat-down and lid-down.
Kevin at May 23, 2016 8:19 AM
Seat Up/down thing: if it's down and men have to pee, it becomes target practice, so any women in the house (sorry, is that to "cisgendered" of me?) should put it up out of desire to not sit in dried urine.
;)
mer at May 23, 2016 8:46 AM
As I snarked in a linkies posting about a guy live tweeting his HR sexual harassment slide show:
Is this a great country or what?
I R A Darth Aggie at May 23, 2016 9:01 AM
One small data point in my experience is that individuals will make their preferences known, you complement them and they like that, or whatever. The poison pill are third parties. They don't have to be HR or anything, just a joyless scold, who can't stand it when a guy complements a woman's new shoes. I'll note that I've never seen nor heard a 3rd party guy take offense to something happening between two other people, but? :shrug: small datapoints.
THIS is where fear comes from, and any bureaucracy uses this kind of fear of snitches, or being tattled on, to keep people stepping right, and not out of line. Couple with the fear of losing your job, and they probably feel they have the upper hand over the peons.
That productivity isn't as high as it could be... is not their concern, because that one is an intangible, and hard to prove.
The toilet seat thing was quite a fight for a while, with the ex-... "Just put it down because it's the right thing to do!!11!"
'Says who? By what logic do you think that?'
Eventually the argument ended with: 'look, I'll put the seat and lid down, just because I love you, and that's what you want. Logic has nothing to do with it.'
That made her angry for a while, but she couldna argue, because I was doing as she wanted.
OI, women. Ask for what you want. There is a fair chance he'll give it to you because you are asking.
Don't be stupid on the logic, because you will lose on that.--
When a human being enters a bathroom, they have to decide what position the seat should be in for the business they need to do. Who THEY are and what business they have, is entirely irrelevant to anyone else.
SwissArmyD at May 23, 2016 9:38 AM
Ideal default position for a toilet probably should be "lid closed," since this is the most sanitary way to flush. Otherwise, "seat down" hides certain splattering that accumulates much more quickly on the rim of the bowl than on the seat, even if you clean your bathroom every other day.
So for the benefit of guests, etc., I think "seat up" is the least desirable position.
All that said, my husband would take a bullet for me, so if he forgets and leaves the seat up, I'm not going to complain. I know it's not passive aggressive.
Insufficient Poison at May 23, 2016 9:58 AM
The SNL skit on sexual harassment is depressingly accurate. Essentially if anything offends a woman it is a fireable offense. But of course a woman offending a man doesn't matter. Conan had a good post a bit back about how 'appropriate body language' was actually typical female body language. Despite feminists claims to the contrary the US is very much a female dominate society.
Ben at May 23, 2016 10:14 AM
This SNL sketch?
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/sexual-harassment/2751966
Insufficient Poison at May 23, 2016 10:54 AM
The seat should be down - and the lid too. Why? Because the flush causes droplets of the bowl to get airborne. EWWW. So, put the lid down and less gets in the air.
Also, toddlers and cats.
But that's just me.
Shannon at May 23, 2016 11:38 AM
That wasn't the one I was remembering IP, but it's essentially the same gag.
Ben at May 23, 2016 1:29 PM
LID down. omg.
gooseegg at May 23, 2016 1:37 PM
Of course, that harassment training may backfire is actually a good thing from the trainers' perspective. It proves you need more of it.
dee nile at May 23, 2016 1:42 PM
My now-wife and I discussed this years ago before moving in together and we ended up with the rule being that we both put the seat and the lid down. Equally inconvenient for both of us and, as she put it, who wants to look in a toilet bowl when they just went in to wash their hands or blow their nose?
15 years and no fights about the toilet seat; other things, sure, but not the toilet seat.
Also, what Shannon said about splashes and germs.
Conan the Grammarian at May 23, 2016 1:50 PM
God forbid your english mastiff sees the lid open. Now suddenly he hasn't drank in a week and your bathroom is flooded.
Stormy at May 23, 2016 2:57 PM
Now that I have decided to identify as a hermaphrodite I argue with myself about leaving the seat up or down.
Bill O Rights at May 23, 2016 3:36 PM
Favorite sexual harassment story, courtesy of Claudia Christian... Apparently, Netter Entertainment lawyers were leery of harassment issues in the studio vicinity where/when Babylon 5 was being done, so they arrived with reams of papers for the cast and crew to sign.
This greatly amused "alpha" women like Claudia, Pat Tallman, Mira Furlan and Andrea Thompson, all of whom had worked for years and on projects with more horrific storylines than being patted on the fanny by some grip; they were pretty secure, personally.
So, they led a sort of revolt, where they not only told the lawyers hell no we're not signing, they drew up a kind of counter-letter explaining that the "harassment" was something they looked forward to!
Radwaste at May 23, 2016 4:49 PM
Toilet seat up or down - That is such a first world problem!
Those who complain should be counting their lucky stars to live in a place where the "toilet" isn't just a dirt hole out behind the fields.
Oh, and BTW, Evil HR Lady is fantastic! It is usually Advice Goddess and Evil HR Lady whose blogs I read before all else.
(Sorry Suzanne and Amy; didn't mean to comment on you and the toilet at the same time - no comparison intended)
charles at May 23, 2016 6:11 PM
Here in Australia we have a combination of the two - a supposed anti bullying program for schoolkids, aimed at early high school, intended to combat bullying of LGBTI kids. Including the usual role playing, tick the obvious box rubbish that will supposedly change thinking.
Look up "Safe Schools Australia" for a range of viewpoints on this attempt at pushing thought control down to lower ages.
Ltw at May 25, 2016 2:15 AM
I was a male supervisor in an office supervising 6 women. Several were ok, one or two I could joke with and not worry about being accused of sexual harassment. My new boss hired a girl from her previous company...I didn't really like her very much and grew to dislike her a lot as time went on. The new boss told me I had to intervene in my employee's business conversations when I overheard them and could add something to the conversation or correct them if they said something that was incorrect. I didn't agree with this and previously didn't jump in and eavesdrop. Well, the first and last time I did this I wound up getting into trouble. I overheard two of my employees talking and heard them discuss an account that I worked on a couple of days before. I jumped up and put in my two cents with both of the ladies in this disliked employee's cubicle. I went back to my desk across the isle to retrieve a document and went back to disliked employee's cube who was now by herself. I leaned over a little to point to her computer screen told her what to do. I was behind her and to the left and leaned in...didn't touch her her anything. She wound up reporting me to HR for sexual harassment (I made her feel "uncomfortable" by leaning into the computer screen and being too close to her). There is NO WAY IN HELL I would have even thought about sexually or in any other way harassing this ugly fat ass pig of a woman. Why would I risk my job by sexually harass an ugly, fat woman?
Dragonslayer666 at May 27, 2016 2:03 PM
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