It's The Kids Of Divorced Parents Who Suffer From Parent And Step-Parent Hate
This mom -- and, in turn, the new girlfriend of her ex -- are setting a great standard for others in the same position.
From Today.com, Embry Roberts posts that Audrey Loving had a daughter, Riley -- now 4 --with Corey Henry, a man she met when she was 18. Their relationship ended and Loving has custody of Riley, but Henry, who lives in another state, sees Riley on weekends:
When Henry began dating another woman, Loving was determined to take the high road. "I come from a blended family -- I have stepsisters, half-sisters," she told TODAY. "Growing up, I heard the negative talk about the 'other woman,' and I didn't want my kid to hear the same thing ... It's not fair. Kids are smart."She also felt empathy for Whitney McGraw, the woman taking on the responsibility of a child who wasn't her own. "It's awkward for her too -- dating someone with a kid," she said. "I'm not interested in the baby mama drama ... I welcomed her into my family with open arms."
Despite her good intentions, Loving says she was "a little crazy" when Riley first began spending time alone with the couple. "I would write a whole list for Whitney. Things like, 'Don't leave her in the bathroom,'" she said with a laugh.
"Whitney would send me pictures and keep me updated," she recalled. "One night I sent her a text saying, 'You know, I'm extremely thankful for you.'"
Whitney responded in kind. High road meets high road.
Great example for a lot of people.
via ifeminists
A family down the street from me has 3 kids. The middle one is his, but not hers. I can see loving the kid (I mean, babies are adorable), but I really don't think I'd still be with the dad. She's a stronger woman than me, providing a loving intact home for that baby. (The dad got custody, which tells you how incredibly unfit that baby's mom must have been).
momof4 at November 26, 2016 6:07 AM
momof4, it's a necessity/need and a not so atypical historical definition of "marriage" not a "I'd prefer ..." situation.
Parents lose spouses for some reason and recognize that incomes, homes, care of kids/animals, and meeting their own needs requires coming together w/another person or family.
In your example the man simply "adopted" her and her two kids due to his decision that his "needs" meant that his kid needed a Mom/siblings and he needed a woman to be his partner in life.
BTDT and it was a lifestyle decision on my part.
Bob in Texas at November 26, 2016 6:38 AM
The middle kid was the product of his affair, with the married couple having both an older and younger kid, together. She has basically adopted the product of his cheating, as the woman he cheated With, was found unfit to be a parent by the courts. That wasn't clear, above.
momof4 at November 26, 2016 7:37 AM
You were clear to me from the 1st letter Momto4.
Jen at November 26, 2016 8:09 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXKeNKvl-J4
Bob in Texas at November 26, 2016 10:25 AM
Kids of divorced parents suffer regardless of how well everything works out.
My parents never should have been married, they never should have had one kid let alone two, and even though I know, intellectually, they never should have been, a small emotional part of me wishes it would have worked so I could have had a better childhood
Which is why this song always makes me cry, even at 37, more than three decades later
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUfgAbFY4CA
lujlp at November 26, 2016 12:00 PM
As a rule, I loathe all sentiments of the form See, everything can still work out best for the kids no matter how abjectly selfish the parents.
Because get serious.
There are matters of such import that forgiveness will not be the source of our admiration. It's so much better not to need forgiveness that who gives a fuck.
Crid at November 26, 2016 3:43 PM
I knew when I got serious with my husband that he was a package deal. I understood that either I had to accept that or move on.
At Thanksgiving Thursday, after over 17 years together, at my in-laws was us, 4 older kids from the first marriage, our toddler, his ex, his ex's husband, and my in-laws.
His ex knows I love their kids and I know she loves my kid.
Katrina at November 26, 2016 8:48 PM
I was the product of a bitter divorce that occurred when I was 10. It took until my mid-20s, and a move far away from home, before I felt like I was finally getting myself sorted.
I can see now how my parents grew apart. I love and admire my father, but I'm not blind to the mistakes that he made. (My mother made mistakes too. It's all water under the bridge now.) I was determined not to make the same mistakes. I did slip up in my early '30s, and married someone that I should not have ever had a relationship with, but I pretty quickly realized my mistake and got out of that with minimal damage done (no kids).
My second time around, I got it right. My parents divorced after 17 years of marriage. My wife and I just celebrated our 22nd anniversary.
Cousin Dave at November 28, 2016 6:57 AM
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