There's One Small Difference Between Many Or Most Of Us (As Early 20-Somethings) And Monica Lewinsky
Who here hasn't acted like an asshole to some extent in their 20s?
The 20s, and especially the early 20s, are the age of asshole-ism. People are vulnerable, feeling their way around, cocky, thinking they know more than they know, and not quite seeing the consequences that can come, to name a few.
Accordingly, here's the one difference between most of us and Monica Lewinsky: The dumb things we did were not reported in the international media.
Lewinsky has an op-ed in The New York Times about the death of Fox News' Roger Ailes, and, she hopes, the culture he ushered in:
John Moody, a Fox executive editor, reflected on that period: "The Lewinsky saga put us on the news map." As he put it in another interview: "Monica was a news channel's dream come true."Their dream was my nightmare. My character, my looks and my life were picked apart mercilessly. Truth and fiction mixed at random in the service of higher ratings. My family and I huddled at home, worried about my going to jail -- I was the original target of Kenneth Starr's investigation, threatened with 27 years for having been accused of signing a false affidavit and other alleged crimes -- or worse, me taking my own life. Meantime, Mr. Ailes huddled with his employees at Fox News, dictating a lineup of talking heads to best exploit this personal and national tragedy.
...Just as television news was devolving into a modern coliseum, the internet came along and compounded this culture of shame and vitriol. Remember: The story of my affair was not broken by The Washington Post, The New York Times or the networks, but online by the Drudge Report. The comments on television and online were excruciating. I ceased being a three-dimensional person. Instead I became a whore, a bimbo, a slut and worse. Just days after the story broke, Fox asked its viewers to vote on this pressing question: Is Monica Lewinsky an "average girl" or a "young tramp looking for thrills"?
Our world -- of cyberbullying and chyrons, trolls and tweets -- was forged in 1998. It is, as the historian Nicolaus Mills has put it, a "culture of humiliation," in which those who prey on the vulnerable in the service of clicks and ratings are handsomely rewarded.
Sadly, I think Lewinsky is overly optimistic in her hope that the culture will change. It may -- a bit -- at the TV stations, but I think the ugliness has moved to social media, and the mob is now the rest of us.
There was a situation on Twitter the other day -- a games reporter named David Leavitt who made a joke about the Manchester slaughter. When he was called out for it, he doubled down on it. Now perhaps he did this because he's a terrible person. But I don't know the guy and neither does anyone else from a series of tweets.
It's very possible that he just thought -- as I wrote in a post the other day -- "I'm fucked," and flipped a coin and decided to be kind of "fuck you" back.
Again -- we really don't know.
Who here wants their life and behavior and character judged by a single tweet or a handful of them?
Sure, we can tell things about people through their actions.
But Michael Gazzaniga, the cognitive neuroscientist, among others, points out how the brain is quick to fill in information that is not actually there. And then, as soon as we do that, we believe that we just know.
I think we need to be a little more careful in calling for people's firings and going after them in awful ways on the Internet. One of these days, someone will kill themselves over this -- if it hasn't happened already. And maybe that person will be a Justine Sacco, who was just misunderstood (but lost her job and was derided internationally), and maybe that person will be kind of an asshole.
But being an asshole is the human condition. It really, really is. I'm an asshole, you're an asshole, we're all assholes on some level, and anyone who doesn't admit that is, yes, really an asshole.
If that's the criteria by which we decide that somebody's going to have no privacy and maybe no job or money or possibility at a normal life, well, our society is in deep trouble. This means that we're living in one giant witch hunt. That's not the culture I want to live in.
I think we stop it in part by coming to the conclusion that we all make mistakes, and, as I wrote on that post yesterday:
If we each had all of our behavior examined under the jury of Twitter, we'd all likely have a thing or two we'd said that people might want to hang us for.
Maybe by looking at things that way, we have our best shot of not mobbing up and turning every person's peevish afternoon remark into the ruin of their life.
I always kinda felt bad for her. Not so much anymore.
Dont want to face charges for perjury, DONT COMMIT FUCKING PERJURY
Dont want to be in the public eye? DONT SUCK THE MOST NEWSWORTHY MAN ON THE FUCKING PLANET
People have their lives ruined for things they never even did, men get shot when their lovers cry rape when the husband comes home early, she had bad words said about her for actions she eagerly engaged in. She was threatened with the legal consequences of breaking the law, and ultimately had her law breaking ignored because she wasnt worth the effort.
Its been over 20 years, when is she going to stop milking this cock, I mean story?
lujlp at May 24, 2017 12:17 AM
"But I don't know the guy and neither does anyone else from a series of tweets."
Hmm. Is there anybody else this should apply to?
Radwaste at May 24, 2017 12:34 AM
> Its been over 20 years, when is she going to stop milking this cock, I mean story?
Her crime and few crimes deserved the 24 hour eye of @Sauron gazing back at her from the abyss.
So with 20+ years of maturity, she has become a spokesperson for anti-bullying and anti-harassment, and makes demands back at the networks they behave responsibly.
I'm okay with that. More power to her.
Media is now one karma whoring click bait ocean of hot takes. Turns out 24 hour news is a bad thing for our species.
So yeah, over at reddit, I saw a comic drawn in 2009 by Stuart McMillen illustrating the foreword of Amusing Ourselves to Death, by Neil Postman in 1985 (five years after the founding of CNN).
The comic is rather brilliant:
https://biblioklept.org/2013/06/08/huxley-vs-orwell-the-webcomic-2/
(The foreword is here: http://www.serendipity.li/jsmill/post_1.html)
and Amusing Ourselves to Death is available for download as ebook or audiobook from overdrive
jerry at May 24, 2017 3:44 AM
If I recall correctly, it was Monica Lewinky who outed herself, by having long anguished recorded phone conversations with her gal pal Linda Tripp
Another characteristc of 20 somethings. They rarely know when to shut up.
Isab at May 24, 2017 3:55 AM
Funny how, even after 20+ years, Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton bear no responsibility for what happened. A married man in the most public office in the country and an intern half his age had an affair and the resulting (and foreseeable to anyone with half a brain) fallout is entirely the fault of Roger Ailes and Matt Drudge.
Monica begged her BFF to lie about it to a grand jury, but it's the BFF's fault when she didn't lie. Linda was a "bad friend" for not committing and suborning perjury.
Sorry, Monica, but the person who trashed the Lewinsky name in this was you. At 20, you could be forgiven for a lapse of judgement, but at 40, you should have learned something about responsibility by now.
Conan the Grammarian at May 24, 2017 5:05 AM
Right. And blaming Roger Ailes for all of her problems is rich, since the news of their affair broke in 1995, and Fox News didn't go on the air until a year later. And it's not like Lewinsky is trying to stay out of the public eye: her Wikipedia page lists her as an "activist, television personality, and fashion designer". She's trying to exploit her notoriety and poor-mouth at the same time. Sorry, you don't get to do both.
Cousin Dave at May 24, 2017 6:37 AM
I'm afraid if you haven't learned responsibility by 20 you aren't going to learn it by 40, Conan. A few will break the trend but most won't.
And like others I fail to see how Ailes is significantly different from any other media manager. His main claim to fame was finding a niche market and selling to it. Just his luck that niche market was half of the nation.
Ben at May 24, 2017 6:59 AM
Funny how, even after 20+ years, Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton bear no responsibility for what happened.
How do you know that?
A lot of young women sleep with their married boss. I would guess that some or many have regrets.
I don't think what was done to her should be the punishment for that.
Her life is forever transformed by this -- she never has a clean slate when meeting a new person -- and think about what that means. She didn't sexually abuse a child or murder someone. She did something in her early 20s that a lot of women do -- women who go on to live normal lives.
I respect her for coming forward and being a spokesperson against bullying, making meaning out of what her life was turned into.
Amy Alkon at May 24, 2017 7:03 AM
The problem is what was done to her wasnt motivated by anyone disliking her, she wasnt bullied.
Quite frankly, even as a teenager growing up mormon in Utah I didnt give a shit why anyone cared what two consenting adults did, and didnt understand why anyone else cared
She was used as a tool to go after a powerful politician. Harsh? Yes. Cruel? Most likely. But it was never about her.
It was always about him.
And in some ways thats probably worse, a bully cares enough about you to find ways to hurt you.
Had she blown literally any other guy in America no one would have given a shit.
lujlp at May 24, 2017 7:31 AM
"If that's the criteria by which we decide that somebody's going to have no privacy and maybe no job or money or possibility at a normal life, well, our society is in deep trouble. This means that we're living in one giant witch hunt. That's not the culture I want to live in."
Before Fox news, it was only Republicans that the media went after.
Democrats were off limits for the obviuos reasons.
And unfortunately any laws aimed at prevention of * bullying* run afoul of the 1st amendment.
Isab at May 24, 2017 7:48 AM
Donna Rice Hughes of Monkey Business infamy has gotten on with her life in a way Monica hasn't
tmitss at May 24, 2017 8:05 AM
How about she become an advocate for not being a whore for powerful politicians?
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at May 24, 2017 8:11 AM
You know who actually bullied you, Monica? Bill Clinton's Bimbo Eruption Squad lead by that empowerer of women, Hillary Freakin' Clinton.
They were the ones peddling the story that as a teenager, you slept with the man who hired you as his babysitter. The inference being you were attracted to older men and you couldn't keep it in your pants. So it wasn't Bill's fault that you seduced him.
And as far as I know, the prosecutors in Oregon where uninterested in finding out if said father had actually committed statutory rape.
I R A Darth Aggie at May 24, 2017 8:40 AM
I didnt give a shit why anyone cared what two consenting adults did, and didnt understand why anyone else cared
Lying under oath? you know, high crimes and misdemeanors, and potentially obstruction of justice.
As Isab points out, that's only important when a Republican does it. Go ahead, ask Brother Bill why he surrendered his law license.
I R A Darth Aggie at May 24, 2017 8:43 AM
Why didn't she take the blue dress to the dry cleaners? Or throw it away? FOX News didn't start broadcasting until a October 1996.
KateC at May 24, 2017 9:32 AM
Media treatment of Ms. Lewinsky may have been overly harsh in the late 90's, but since then she has chosen to make herself a public figure. It seems to me she's managed to capitalize on the scandal. And I certainly think it's fine to have a negative opinion of women who sleep with other women's husbands. Even if said husband is a notorious alley cat. Even if it happened 20 years ago. When does anyone really think about Monica Lewinsky any more? Probably only when she seeks (and gets) attention from the media. Any of us ladies could have been painted by the media as "great and infamous whores" (like Mary Boleyn or Lewinsky), had we chosen to sleep with famous men who happened to be married. Thing is, most of us didn't.
I do wonder what would have become of her had she not had the dalliance with Clinton, or had never been found out. I suppose she'd be a lobbyist that we've never heard of.
ahw at May 24, 2017 9:41 AM
Plenty of women who earned naughty reputations in their late teens and early twenties go on to lead perfectly normal lives and have regular relationships when they mature. Time and good behavior tend to bury scandal, or at least make it less interesting.
ahw at May 24, 2017 9:48 AM
You guys are weirdly energetic about this.
It's like still being pissed about The Two Darrens.
Crid at May 24, 2017 9:57 AM
Because she wrote an editorial in the New York Times blaming Roger Ailes for the entirely predictable blowback of her having an affair with a married man and lying about it in an affidavit.
I've never heard any mention of her contemplating her own role in the affair, nor the role of the married man with whom she was having illicit sex. It's all someone else's fault that the affair "ruined" her life. Now, it's "bullying."
And she never shuts up about it. It's time to end the self-pity party, Monica. The only reason Monica Lewinsky is still in the news is because she keeps putting herself there.
Monica, that "signing a false affidavit" is called perjury. And it's a crime. Other people have been investigated when accused of it, and some have even gone to jail for it. That's what she was asking Linda Tripp to do, risk jail time to perpetuate her lie.
Conan the Grammarian at May 24, 2017 10:27 AM
"You guys are weirdly energetic about this."
Nah. Yesterday's news. In fact, it was two decades ago's news. It's Monica herself who wants to keep getting back in people's faces. Whatever. I don't read the celebrity rags, so my life is blissfully Monica-free.
Cousin Dave at May 24, 2017 1:26 PM
Yeah, this ruining of Monoca is 99.9% Ken Starr's fault. This scamdal wouldn't have achieved anything like the intensity and longevity as it has without the Starr report giving us all the sordid, unsexy and one-sided details that left her no room to be Marylin Monroe about it. I admire her fir trying to pull some good out of it- it doesn't matter if she seeks attention in this manner. There's no escaping her notariety.
Allison at May 24, 2017 7:30 PM
Yeah, this ruining of Monoca is 99.9% Ken Starr's fault. This scamdal wouldn't have achieved anything like the intensity and longevity as it has without the Starr report giving us all the sordid, unsexy and one-sided details that left her no room to be Marylin Monroe about it. I admire her fir trying to pull some good out of it- it doesn't matter if she seeks attention in this manner. There's no escaping her notariety.
Allison at May 24, 2017 7:30 PM
Yes there is. Change your name, work overseas. Shut your trap. People have really short memories, if they arent being constantly reminded of something.
I see you have swallowed the media spin about Ken Starr.
Isab at May 24, 2017 7:43 PM
Media spin? Did the report not actually contain minutely detailed descriptions of everything done, like hide-the-cigar and pizza and thong as bait? Because if I'm wrong about that, it indeed must have been the spin. Jeez, I remember her having to testify as to the content of their phone sex. It seemed way more humiliating than necessary, and could not have helped with the public humiliation train. And am I wrong, or is Starr now shockingly ousted from Baylor for some kind of pervert-like behavior? I only read the headlines, but I wasn't surprised much.
Allison at May 24, 2017 10:03 PM
I think we should get back to the part where Amy says there are a lot of 20 year old women who sleep with their married bosses.
crid at May 24, 2017 10:14 PM
Happens all the time, Crid- right on the conference table!
Allison at May 25, 2017 5:08 AM
And so it is totally OK, right?
Of course not.
Radwaste at May 25, 2017 5:33 AM
"Happens all the time, Crid- right on the conference table!"
Darn the luck. I don't have any cute 20-year-old women on my staff. Well, for that matter, I don't have any staff. Other than that...
Cousin Dave at May 25, 2017 11:55 AM
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