Too bad Tex Avery's bacon uncurler never became a reality:

https://youtu.be/dH5ONdVf7aU?t=114

Inside a folded paper towel, nuke it for 3-1/2 minutes full blast. Because I like my bacon crisp, darn it.

Cousin Dave = infidel. Soft chewy bacon is were it's at.

And again, the biggest lie told by feminism is that women can have it all. No, life is about managing competing choices, as well as competing demands. Some days, you just can't win.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4733400/Will-granddaughter-pay-price-fight-equality.html

Oh, my.

http://coreyrobin.com/2017/07/29/yesterday-i-got-into-an-argument-with-chelsea-clinton-on-twitter-about-hannah-arendt/

Cubs vs. Commies.

https://twitter.com/iowahawkblog/status/892001504126808064

When you're the proud mom of 8 BMW owners.

https://mobile.twitter.com/RTUKnews/status/891645569319424001

Don't try this one at home, kids.

https://www.cnet.com/news/a-gun-that-squirts-molten-metal-science/

So this happened in Venezuela:

https://mobile.twitter.com/VVperiodistas/status/891730820381257728

"Cousin Dave = infidel."

Damn proud of it too.

In Seattle, you cannot voluntarily engage in a vocation for pay. If you are paid to do something, then by definition, you were coerced. Who knew?

As always, the best part in these hit pieces is the comments' section

https://www.out.com/2017/7/30/dear-gay-men-stop-telling-women-they-cant-be-gay-bars

When ex-Muslim Bonya Ahmed reached out her hand to accept an award in London on Sunday, it was missing her thumb.

Islamists hacked it off in Bangladesh, 2015.

She had thrown her arms in front of her husband Avijit Roy to shield him from machetes as a mob cut the life out of him for criticising Islam.

The attack happened in a crowded public street but the people – including police – stood by and did nothing.

The ceremony that recognised this brave woman had to be held in a secret location because London is no longer safe for ex-Muslims, atheists or even secular Muslim believers who dare to say that Islam should not be implemented as a system of laws.

Let that sink in: these people had to gather in an undisclosed location.. Not in Bangladesh, but in Britain.

http://quillette.com/2017/07/27/richard-dawkins-celebrated-activists-ex-muslims-london-conference-free-expression/

IRADA, I liked his next tweet even better, because it describes the conversations we're going to be having with weak human beings for the rest of our lives: All those teams between 1908 and 2016 weren't really Cubs.

☑ Cousin Dave at July 31, 2017 7:59 AM

That Venezuela footage is fucking incredible.

" Not in Bangladesh, but in Britain"

Those people need a revolution.

Oink, oink!

And many remembered that the same council had recently tried to fine a five-year-old girl for selling lemonade, which made her cry.

http://metro.co.uk/2017/07/31/council-that-fined-girl-5-for-lemonade-stand-is-now-targeting-shop-for-free-bike-pump-6818702/

Hi Raddy.

Hi Snoopy.... I know you luvs the cartoons!

♫ Bismillah! ♬

Adoration befitting a rock star.

> Hi Snoopy.... I know you luvs the cartoons!

I sure dooos. You may try actually reading the cartoon author's blog while you're at it:

http://blog.dilbert.com/

You'll see he agrees with most of what I say.

But I know reading is tough for you and you'll not get past the cartoons.

Pod 'n Josh.

> You'll see he agrees with
> most of what I say

The cartoonist's incoherence is not actually a problem here. My house, I mean... Elsewhere in the Americas, these failures of principle are probably rippling along.

Who's next?

Sold his company to work at 1600, but at least now he'll have more time to spend with his adoring family, right?

Oh, wait...

In other news, watch this space, because of reasons.

Good grief....microwaving bacon is a crime against humanity. You have to cook it in a cast iron frying pan over low heat!

Is there a word to describe a state of being both amused and perplexed by something?

For instance, there is this writer for The Gay UK Magazine named Skylar Baker-Jordan, who describes himself an "American who wants to be British," and looks like a fatter, younger version of Austin Powers.

And he has a big issue with straight people being in gay bars.

He opens his tweet with a very generous sentiment: "I don't mind LGBT women being in gay bars..."

Well, that's certainly very big of him.

But then he adds, "...but I don't think straight folks of any gender should go without an invite."

You hear that, you straight men and women? You don't go into any gay bars unless one of us card-carrying queers -- yeah, I can say that word and you guys can't -- invites you.

Sarcasm aside, I'm looking for a word to describe amusement, but at the same time bewilderment.

What an extraordinarily droll idea. Especially coming from a professional writer. I wonder if The Gay UK will want him on their payroll much longer.

What do you know, there is someplace in the world that prefers Trump to Obama. The Middle East.

@Patrick,

I think the writer's sentiment is aimed at the article that disses gay men who complain about the presence of heterosexual women. The article he links (delete the ?amp at the end of the URL so you can see the comments) has readers voicing the same complaints.

Breaking Bad Fractions

https://mobile.twitter.com/JusticeWillett/status/891674281800847360

Who wants a $400 EZ-Bake oven?

https://mobile.twitter.com/CPConrad/status/891707642346975232

Tweet

In the meantime . . . MMMMmmmmm, nekkid women panhandlers

Corrected link for nekkid women panhandlers

Actual sex machine hos.

Muslims offended by this post vs People offended on behalf of Muslims are offended by Muslims offended by this post:

https://mobile.twitter.com/nowthisnews/status/891433918108286976