My Wacky Aunt's Lucky She Never Lost Her Kids To Child Protective Services
Lucky for her, she raised them in another time -- a decade after my mom had me. That was well before people began treating their children like fine china, and basically locked them in curio cabinets (aka gated backyards of gated communities) until they turned 30.
I love my aunt, who's very smart and has a dark sense of humor and a sense of the absurd. She also loves the hell out of her kids and now grandkids, and was a great mom -- one who made (and still makes) dark little wisecracks all the time.
I could just see her offering her children to the person in the grocery store checkout line, as a joke when they were misbehaving. That's why it's always fun to be around her, and I bet her kids felt the same way growing up.
I was reminded of her when I read Lenore Skenazy's story at Reason about a mom who joked on Twitter about selling her kid for $12 ("or best offer").
And, hey, what are government officials for but to take reports of such jokes seriously and launch a big, scary investigation -- in the wake of some anonymous tipster calling a child abuse hotline over it.
This is the point at which a reasonable, functioning, non-dim adult working for CPS should say, "Hmm, that's some lady's funny tweet."
Of course, that's not what happened.
What happened next? "The most hellish week of my life," she wrote. "As I prepared for a home visit in which my case worker would inspect my home and the possibility of more interviews with my son. All because enough people believed I was actually trying to sell my son on Twitter for $12."She is kind enough to note that CPS has a hard job to do and that she isn't blaming the agency specifically. Presumably they have to follow up on tips, however ludicrous these might be.
But this is a perfect time to note that we need to do away with anonymous tips. It is far too easy to disrupt anyone's life with a grievance-oriented, "My neighbor is beating her kid." Click.
She's right -- it is likely they have to follow up on all tips. And this is why someone with the brains of a person employable in private industry would require tips to be left with a real person's name and contact info attached.
Agreed. The sad thing about this is that the woman in question is 1) delightfully droll; and 2) used to provide just enough material about her kid's comments (interspersed with Tweets about sports, news, the South, etc. etc.) to be funny without being cloying. Now she's stopped making any comments about her child on social media, which is an understandable reaction to this, but it's yet another contribution to the sanitizing of discourse of anything interesting.
marion at October 20, 2017 1:04 AM
Now she's stopped making any comments about her child on social media
Quick! someone call CPS!!! The poor kid is probably dead, buried in a shallow grave!
Wut?
I R A Darth Aggie at October 20, 2017 6:12 AM
From what I've seen of CPS (an encounter with a relative and kids), it's a worst-on-worst deal. They hassle good parents, don't do anything about bad parents, split up siblings, and shuffle kids from one foster home to the next. I'm in favor of just de-funding them entirely because I don't see how the situation could be any worse without them.
Cousin Dave at October 20, 2017 6:23 AM
What Cousin Dave said. The problem is: CPS needs to find problems. That's their job, that's how they justify their budget and their headcount.
Good parents are pushovers. They are so shocked they hardly protest. Bad parents? Walk into the ghetto and tell someone you're taking their kids, and you may not walk out. Not worth the risk.
And anyway: petty bureaucrats love having power over people.
One needs to treat CPS with huge suspicion. Don't let them in without a warrant. When they come back with a warrant, record the entire encounter. They're in your home, they have no right to object to a recording. If possible have an attorney, or at least a witness there as well.
a_random_guy at October 20, 2017 6:49 AM
a_random_guy: I think you're not *allowed* to record CPS, at least in this state. At least not specifically.
I have to agree with Cousin Dave. My experience (not direct) with CPS has been eye-opening. And I didn't think they were closed before.
Unix-Jedi at October 20, 2017 7:03 AM
CPS and the foster system in Texas is horrible. Reports of kids in foster care are being abused (or killed) come out regularly. CPS will do things like take a kid from a parent who smokes dope and place them in a foster home with a person who has a criminal record and smokes meth. And they lose track of the kids who are in the most danger. The turnover at the agency is around 30%.
http://projects.statesman.com/news/cps-missed-signs/index.html
ahw at October 20, 2017 7:46 AM
A friend of mine, to teach her three-year-old that actions/decisions have consequences, dropped him off at preschool without shoes when he threw a tantrum, refused to put his shoes on, and threw one of his shoes in the trash. After one day of other kids pointing and giggling at his bare feet and not being allowed outside for recess (because no shoes), he has been very cooperative in the mornings.
Luckily the kid attends a Chinese-run preschool so the teachers were like "Yes, good move, they need to learn." But my reaction was, "I hope one of the white parents didn't call CPS."
sofar at October 20, 2017 8:30 AM
From Luke 2:41-50 in the New Testament: Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. When he was twelve years old, they went up to the festival, according to the custom. After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.”
“Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he was saying to them.
They lost Him for three days!. Imagine how much different the world would be today if there had been CPS in Jerusalem 2,000 years ago.
Ken R at October 20, 2017 9:34 AM
To get hired at places like CPS they show you a Mel Brooks comedy--if they can't make you laugh, they hire you.
cc at October 20, 2017 9:35 AM
"Bad parents? Walk into the ghetto and tell someone you're taking their kids, and you may not walk out."
You know what I like about this comment? It's not completely bigoted and stereotypical at all.
In one sentence it equates the ghetto with bad parenting and being so dangerous that you're risking your life by going in.
Well done. If you'd thrown in a reference to crack pipes you'd have had a hat-trick.
Vinnie Bartilucci at October 20, 2017 9:50 AM
Know what I like about Vinnie's comment? He doesn't rebut a_random_guy at all, just goes right to the evergreen, not-overused-at-all racism charge.
It's like a flashback to 2009.
dee nile at October 20, 2017 10:01 AM
Dealing with CPS is not like dealing with the police. You have one right, and that's the right to go fuck yourself. You can refuse to allow them entry into your home, but they can use that against you, and they can take your kids away based on very little. They will declare you guilty based on their feelings, and you can appeal that decision if you want to, but they can still use the initial finding against you in future situations, even if you win the appeal.
All that said, I regret talking to them without a lawyer. I thought it would be like it was with other people I know who were under investigation: CPS would see nothing was wrong and leave. Instead, we're being charged criminally for letting our 4-1/2-year-old play across the street from our own house while we watched from the porch.
MonicaP at October 20, 2017 10:05 AM
Welcome Vinnie, program caller. You know what? The very same statement can be made about the trashy trailer out in the sticks. And I speak with some authority on that. (Which is how I came to the conclusion about CPS in the first place.)
Cousin Dave at October 20, 2017 11:04 AM
MonicaP. I want to kick them in the shins for you. What the f#ck.
Michelle at October 20, 2017 5:47 PM
MonicaP. I want to kick them in the shins for you. What the f#ck.
Thanks. Honestly, we're so gobsmacked by the whole thing that even support from strangers online means a lot to us.
MonicaP at October 20, 2017 9:43 PM
Unfortunately, my guess is many in CPS were taught by the same professors as the current crop of ever protesting snowflakes. I wonder how many have degrees in gender studies or similar degrees.
Their view on everything are backwards. Speech is violence, but punching is not if you also don't like the target. Parents must provide everything for the kids but never bruise an ego. Never question other cultures ways of raising kids.
Joe J at October 20, 2017 11:41 PM
The first thing you need to know about CPS: It's staffed by many of the dimmest people to ever squeak through a college program of leftist indoctrination. That is, based both on SAT scores before college and GRE scores after nearly four years of college, social work majors are tied for the lowest spot with education administration majors. Teacher candidates are the third lowest, after their bosses and social workers.
Based on a degree from a training program (it's properly called "training" because the program is necessarily tailored to the lower ranks of students, who are too stupid for an education to take), that often ignores science in favor of leftist dogma, these dolts are supposed to be able to investigate complex cases where most likely every witness is lying and/or mentally ill - including the children involved. It's no wonder that their decisions are often based on feelings and jumping to conclusions rather than facts. And sometimes the decisions are based on hurt feelings - the ones that happen when they argue with a parent that has 50 IQ points on them and a much better understanding of how to raise their own kids.
markm at October 21, 2017 2:20 PM
In the news in Michigan last week: A judge awarded joint custody to the father along with ordering him to pay child support, not knowing that the child was a product of rape OF A 12 YEAR OLD GIRL. The mistake was DHS's (Department of Human Services, which covers CPS and other social work functions, as well as collection of child support). They didn't read or could not understand their own records, and so were not aware that the father was a rapist and child molester. It seems to be pretty common for DHS to not know what is it it's own files.
They also checked the box in the paperwork that indicated the father requested joint custody; he denies that he asked for that (and seems smart enough to not ask for something that would probably put him in violation of sex-offender registration rules). I think it's more likely that the moron filling out the paperwork just checked this box from habit; they recommend joint custody by default. (It's the most likely arrangement to require continuing involvement of DHS...)
I'd hope the prosecutor that filed those papers in court and the judge that rubberstamped them learned something - but with the pace typical of family court, neither one of them will ever really have the time to do their own investigation of a case. Perhaps they might learn to read the whole thing, notice when the birthdates mean the mother was 12 years old, and pay a little closer attention in such cases, but while law school and the bar exam require a certain degree of verbal intelligence, it is not uncommon to find innumerate lawyers and judges - and family court does not get the best people!
markm at October 21, 2017 2:37 PM
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