The New Feminine Fragility
There's a Lizzie Crocker piece at The Daily Beast on the brouhaha over Katie Roiphe's unpublished article in Harper's Magazine. A bit from it:
"Show me a smart, competent young professional woman who is utterly derailed by a verbal unwanted sexual advance or an inappropriate comment about her appearance," Roiphe wrote in a 2011 New York Times story, "and I will show you a rare spotted owl."Needless to say, that sentiment has not aged well.
She's right, and that's tragic.
Feminism and po-mo intersectionality -- basically the "No, I'M more disadvantaged!" Olympics -- have turned modern women into pathetic weaklings.
Well, "Count me the fuck out," as I wrote in Quillette:
If you're a woman, I encourage you to join me--count yourself the fuck out of what feminism has become.This doesn't require you to be fearless. You just need to shove your fears aside and do what needs to be done--say, getting up on your hind legs and telling some co-worker, "Stop saying that thing to me" or "...treating me this way."
Now, if they persist after you've told them to stop a few times, that's harassment and you can seek support to get them to stop. But consider that it's less likely to get to that point if you simply act like men's equal--act as if you're powerful--instead of acting like you're a feminist.
If you need some help getting up on your hind legs and being powerful, get my science-based book, "Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence" (Jan 23, St. Martin's Griffin).
She should have checked CNN. My memory is kinda fuzzy, but wasn't there a mini-meltdown when the cable news channel announced the arrival of a prominent news anchor to its ranks, and it advertised her show by calling her Smart, insightful, and sometimes a little sexy?
I can't remember her name and as of lately Google has become quite useless when it comes to find these kind of things.
Sixclaws at January 13, 2018 4:30 AM
Some times I feel as though I need to step up more to annoying or uncomfortable situations. After reading your various posts like this one I have ordered Unf*ckology.
Hope your straight forward comments and advice permeate the book. It's never to late for any of us to change for the better.
Jay at January 13, 2018 6:19 AM
Sullivan
Crid at January 13, 2018 6:24 AM
It was Paula Zahn.
[article found using Bing]
Conan the Grammarian at January 13, 2018 6:43 AM
Men have to stand up for themselves also. I have had to find a new job to get out of a bad situation and confront a boss in another case (with a threat that I would quit). The idea that the world is all handed to men on a silver platter is simply not true. Oh, and female bosses aren't all angels either.
There is an unspoken assumption by feminists (and wives by the way) that men can read minds. Some of the things that really bother women also don't bother men at all, such as raucous teasing, calling each other sh*thead and idiots and all laughing. Men may not be completely aware of how this horrifies women if done to them (another example of special treatment that women get).
cc at January 13, 2018 9:26 AM
Geezer, to many words. I read maybe the first quarter of the article, and gave up. It is a great example of something a decent editor would have rejected as too wordy. Rework it to 1/10 of the length, and it might be a decent article.
a_random_guy at January 13, 2018 11:08 AM
Some of the things that really bother women also don't bother men at all, such as raucous teasing, calling each other sh*thead and idiots and all laughing. Men may not be completely aware of how this horrifies women if done to them (another example of special treatment that women get).
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Or maybe it's an example of how lazy and cowardly parents have been getting in past decades when it comes to teaching basic manners and decorum, for EVERYONE?
After all, you can't be sure that even your new MALE co-workers tolerate foul language and/or "joking" insults until you get to know them better. (If they all enjoy it, not just tolerate it, all the more reason not to isolate yourself with them.) Why assume that ANYONE isn't seriously bothered by those things? Also, plenty of cultures around the world take foul language and behavior far more seriously than Americans do, if only because they believe that adults should BEHAVE like adults. (Different example: When I was in Italy in 2011, one thing I really liked was being surrounded by adults who dressed like adults. Even the American tourists restrained themselves that way. Not so in the U.S., very often.)
lenona at January 13, 2018 11:24 AM
Quoted on Samizdata. Pure gold.
Perry de Havilland at January 13, 2018 12:05 PM
"Why assume that ANYONE isn't seriously bothered by those things?"
I, for one, would like to know that a person isn't going to be traumatized by simple words. The thing that distinguished Chelsea Manning for others nearby was the constant assertion, "I can't!" when asked to do typical Army duties.
Words hurt? Cry me a river. They are the least harmful things you will ever encounter in a world that very frankly can do without you.
At some time, you may be called to defend yourself, your family, your neighbors or your country against someone who will use real weapons against you, and if you haven't hardened yourself against being called a name... you're gonna be taken. Against your will? Do you even have one?
It's been, what, twenty years since Rush said that words mean things - forcing his opponents to claim otherwise for some crazy reason? Sometimes they're a code, which says, "Yeah, I'm cool, I can cope" as well as a sort of radar to find out who can't.
Very recently, they've been useful in detecting those who cannot distinguish speech from action: Trump "might be rude" to gays based on his speeches; Hillary took money from those who execute them. Oh yes, they're just the same!
Radwaste at January 13, 2018 7:08 PM
I know perfectly well there's a difference between being bothered and being traumatized or terrified. My point is that even if it's an all-male workplace, men who don't like the one worker who talks and behaves the worst (AND who is considered to be a disruption by the other workers) can, likely, easily pressure the boss into firing that man. After all, when the majority of the workers can't get the work done because of one or two people, what else is the boss supposed to do?
So, don't be the most vulgar worker. In most workplaces, after all, using profanity is not considered a mark in your favor.
lenona at January 14, 2018 1:03 PM
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