The TSA Is Best At Catching People Who Are Guilty Of, Oh, Business Travel
It's been my contention that anyone smart enough to hold their own in my blog comments section is smart enough to smuggle themselves, a submarine sandwich filled with C-4, or a nuclear warhead on a plane.
The latest evidence of that comes from the Chi Trib, a story by William Lee and Liam Ford, about a serial stowaway who used -- yes -- her hairdo to fool the repurposed mall food court workers providing the "security" puppet show at O'Hare Airport:
Marilyn Hartman, 66, faces a felony theft charge in connection with flying to the United Kingdom on a British Airways jet without a $2,400 plane ticket and a misdemeanor trespass charge in connection with getting into the airport illegally....Hartman used her hair to hide her face and walk past two federal TSA Precheck agents who were checking boarding passes around 2 p.m. on Jan. 14 at O'Hare, prosecutors said Saturday.
After entering a security checkpoint, she then went to a terminal and tried to board a plane to Connecticut, but as she tried to "dart around" another passenger in line, she was stopped by a flight agent and told to sit down, Assistant State's Attorney Maria McCarthy told the court.
Hartman got onto a shuttle bus to the International Terminal and slept there overnight, prosecutors said.
The next day, Hartman managed to get past British Airways ticket agents and a Customs and Border Patrol officer, and onto a plane, prosecutors said. She sat in an empty seat and flew to London's Heathrow Airport, but when she showed her documents to a Customs agent, she was identified as someone who entered England without proper documentation, McCarthy said.
Hartman, of the 100 block of Hamelitz Court in Grayslake, was flown back to O'Hare, and Chicago police and other officials were waiting for her when she arrived, prosecutors said. She later admitted to boarding the London-bound flight without buying a ticket, McCarthy added.
Hartman's movements through the airport were captured on high-definition surveillance video, according to authorities.
The TSA is investigating how Hartman was able to get through security, a spokesman said in a statement Friday.
Here, I'll help you: It's "security," not security.
My piece from years back on how the TSA is a civil liberties-violating waste of money.
TSA: The original security bongmasters.
mpetrie98 at January 22, 2018 12:06 AM
What? The Brits arrest undocumented aliens attempting to illegally enter their country and immediately return them to their country of origin? What a novel idea.
Wfjag at January 22, 2018 3:38 AM
This just made me think of Helen Hayes in the movie Airport. And I agree with Wfjag, european countries turning people without valid papers away seems rather anachronistic these days.
George at January 22, 2018 4:42 AM
Wait a minute... she's been flying as a stowaway? How many times? What airline? Getting past the TSA droids is one thing, but stowing away in plain sight in the cabin is not something that should happen these days. Even assuming that she's been lucky/clever enough to not ever choose a full flight, every flight has a manifest and the FAs count the number of pax on board. If she really is a "serial stowaway" and she's been getting away with it, then there's more to this story.
Cousin Dave at January 22, 2018 6:19 AM
I think you should come up with a new derogatory term for the TSA, continuing to insult people who work in mall food courts is getting old.
Stormy at January 22, 2018 7:04 AM
Cousin Dave, Don't know how she did it, but there was a kid who stowed away a couple of times in US. I seem to remember he hid in a rest room, during the two times they count; just before takeoff, and at meal.
Joe J at January 22, 2018 8:25 AM
Cousin Dave wrote:
Wait a minute... she's been flying as a stowaway? How many times? What airline? Getting past the TSA droids is one thing, but stowing away in plain sight in the cabin is not something that should happen these days. Even assuming that she's been lucky/clever enough to not ever choose a full flight, every flight has a manifest and the FAs count the number of pax on board. If she really is a "serial stowaway" and she's been getting away with it, then there's more to this story.
I had the same questions the last time this woman was in the news. And I don't understand how one can use one's "hair" to walk through a checkpoint without ID and ticket.
The San Francisco Chronicle did a lengthy profile of her, but still didn't explain how she was able to accomplish this, over and over again.
http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/The-woman-who-smuggled-herself-6342569.php
Kevin at January 22, 2018 8:54 AM
If you act like you belong there, other people will believe that you belong there. The hard part is getting past the people who ask for papers and boarding passes.
If you can duck them, you're half way there. Going overseas was probably not the best choice, since those people are a bit more observant and not so likely as to be super busy.
I R A Darth Aggie at January 22, 2018 9:56 AM
Well, one thing is for sure, Stormy, we certainly cannot call them glorified janitors. The people who clean up after us are actually honorable folk.
mpetrie98 at January 22, 2018 6:59 PM
Well, let's see, Stormy.
We created a bureaucratic check-through line at the airport, staffed by people whose only job was to pat-down passengers and scan x-rays of luggage. The job was not considered law enforcement and required only minimal qualifications and training (to get the department up and running quickly in the wake of 9/11).
When it turned out that it was a joke and it was easy to smuggle explosives and weapons past the somnambulant TSOs, the training level was increased somewhat; coffee was also provided.
The situation was not helped when it was discovered that TSOs were frequently stealing items from passengers. Filmed hostile pat downs of old ladies and children further tarnished the agency's image.
Then, President Obama allowed them to be unionized. With unionization came demands for higher status and pay. The TSA was elevated to a pseudo law enforcement agency - with badges and training at FLETC. But the standards and initial requirements to get a job with the TSA were not increased.
To become a TSO, you must be a US citizen, must have a high school diploma or GED, must be at least 18, and must be able to pass a drug screening and medical test. Not an extensive list of requirements. There is a post-hire background check.
The list of requirements for to become a security guard (same job?) is longer than that. It includes a security guard license (requires guard card classes), criminal background check, drug test, high school diploma, and fingerprinting.
So, the requirements to get a job with the TSA are, in reality, not much different than those required to get a job with any fast food franchise - pass the mirror test.
I can't wait until the union successfully argues that TSOs should be armed.
In short, TSOs are repurposed mall food court workers. And we do ourselves no favors pretending otherwise.
Do I share Amy's open hostility at the people who choose to work for the TSA? No. Do I consider them a viable first line of defense against terrorists on planes? Not in the least. Like Flight 97, we are the first line of defense, not the TSA.
That's right, your best hope of thwarting a terrorist attack on a passenger flight rests with that middle seat idiot who keeps asking to change seats with you, or the guy who spent two hours trying to stuff a suitcase the size of a Volkswagen Beetle into the overhead bin, or the lady with 12 screaming children whose nose is buried in a book as her unwashed progeny sit drooling in the aisle, oblivious to the runaway beverage cart bearing down on them - and not with the semi-literate high school graduate with a badge who took away your nail clippers and shampoo at the gate.
I wonder how many Air Marshalls we could have hired with the money we spent on the TSA. Of course, then we'd have to buy them prostitutes.
Conan the Grammarian at January 23, 2018 8:25 AM
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