This is the creepiest letter I've read on this site. I feel for the poor waitress who's torn between keeping this guy as a customer and telling him flat out to leave because he's creeping her out. This kind of thing is hard to report to management, too, because, while I think it is stalking, he's not done anything overtly dangerous or explicitly lecherous. Being uncomfortable is hard to report because it's based on feeling and not hard evidence. The "love" letter should help with that part, though.

I'll give her space for a few months and eat elsewhere, but I don't want to move on.

Yikes. What's so bad here is that I think he thinks he's being generous by "allowing" her some space...while, of course, she starts to miss him and realizes when he's gone that he's the man of her dreams. He probably is the man of her dreams...were I her, I'd be having scary stalker-stabs-me-with-a-butter-knife-when-I-turn-down-a-trip-to-Paris dreams, too.

including the feeling that what she wants is beyond irrelevant.

I've seen you say this in other columns, Amy, and I think it's important to keep pointing out to these people. Most of them aren't this bad (they just want someone to return their feelings or get back together with them), but it's always worth trying to make the person see that you can't really care about the other person when you don't care what she/he wants as long as you get what you want.

Also worth pointing out: when a woman won't take flowers from you (good for her, by the way), won't look you in the eyes and says to leave her station because you make her uncomfortable--she's not interested. You'd think that'd be universally understood, but it seems we need remedial classes here.

Holy mackerel! This is really creepy. The tragic thing is that this bonehead will probably never get it through his head how deeply disturbing his behavior is.

Move on, buddy. For God's sake, move on. And on the next woman you take an interest in, don't bring "romantic" things to her. You have no idea what romance is. Figure that out first, and then look to begin one.

Amy: Thank you so much for telling off this guy. I was in a similar situation and the lines I read from this letter writer could be quotations from the multiple letters I received from my stalker ("[W]hatever I want, I always work hard to achieve. Life's too short to not go after what you want.") I wonder if he is writing her letters, too. This guy needs to quit his behavior ASAP.

Oops... missed the "love letter" phrase. Anyway, Amy, a much-needed response. Generously, you didn't just tell him to stop, you also pointed him towards the resources he needs. Hopefully he'll take your advice.

More importantly, you also told him that persisting in this sort of behavior could have dire consequences...like a stint in prison.

The Goddess writes:

Okay, your feelings for her are growing stronger every day -- including the feeling that what she wants is beyond irrelevant. Think about how unhappy you're making this waitress. You're robbing her of her peace of mind, and if you start going back, maybe even her ability to pay her bills. I get that you have the hots for her, but you don't even know this woman. What could you possibly have said in that letter you wrote, "I love the way you look when you bring me extra salad dressing"?

This part is particularly excellent. Lacking encouragement from this woman, there is no valid reason for the strengthening of any type of feelings he has for her. Also you point out that he obviously isn't considering her feelings, so what he feels for her isn't love, or even anything remotely resembling goodwill.

What should be, at the most extreme, a mild infatuation is taking a turn for the worse.

Damn - and I always thought that the right way to deal with feelings like that was to walk away and be miserable (possibly helped by a bottle of scotch, with another one to keep it company). Not to make someone else miserable into the bargain. Obviously the way to fix it is to harass someone into doing something they don't want to do. I'll bet he's a psychopath in his business life too. I get way too attached and pine after people too - but that's my problem not theirs, and I do my best to keep it that way.

An ex of mine had a guy like this in the coffee shop where she works - they're both much older than this but similar sort of age gap. He badgered her into going out with him, but once she realised that what he wanted to do was to "rescue" her from her poverty - which I (unnecessarily) interpreted for her as "he wants someone who will do anything he says because she is dependent on him" - she told him politely that she wasn't interested - then less politely - then more firmly - then 2 hour screaming match on phone, which was apparently (according to the witness she gt to back her up when she told me about it) was really something to see. But she got the message through to him eventually. He stopped turning up.

Needless to say for this sort of guy, her continued friendship with me was the first thing on the chopping block. He thought he could order her she could never see me again. Boy, was he wrong. I was never worried :) I knew her better than to think that the promise of a nice house and a rich husband would sway her at all.

The guy has a slightly obsessive crush, and lacks some sense of empathy or boundaries, but I must say I think "creepy" is probably too strong a word, implies someone is dangerous, and statistically that is extremely unlikely.

But dude, she doesn't want you. Get over it, and move on. She's handled this elegantly and well, so leave it at that before you force her to have to get ugly with you about it --- many women would respond by becoming really nasty and saying ugly things. This is not going anywhere, and never will. She's just not that into you. It's not personal. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It happens. 90% of the time when people meet, attraction is non-mutual. It really just happens. I'm sure there are women that just don't float your boat, even though on paper they are perfectly adequate --- it's that for women, just more so even.

Get a dating book that gives advice on what women really respond to. They really don't respond to the typical cliche'd romantic stuff, like flowers and love letters. You've been misinformed. This isn't surprising and doesn't mean you're an idiot or anything, because I meant very literally that you've been misinformed: Society PRETENDS that's what women like, and boys/men get told thousands of times as they grow up that that's what women respond to, but it's false, it's simply untrue. There is what society says women like, and there's what they really like. Two separate things. Learn that, change your strategy.

And there are plenty more fish out there. Really. Women are like busses, there's one along every 10 minutes. It's silly to pin everything on one random person, as if only they can fulfill your dream. That's nonsense. Find one where the attraction is mutual, and have some fun.

And frankly that 'life is too short' thing is nonsense, life is too short to *not be enjoying yourself* and enjoying relationships. Life is too short to waste it chasing fruitless fantasies. It's a waste of precious time. The reality can actually be more enjoyable, just find a realistic reality.

I'm also a businessman, and one of the things I learned from that is to make decisions quickly and not waste time -- when something doesn't work, move on quickly, find something that will work, and get on with it. Avenue A not going anywhere? A decisive man realises it, acknowledges it, and quickly looks at avenues B, C and D.

Let me provide edits so this fellow's letter is best understood.

"The girl of MY dreams... I eat .... When she started, I began .... I've never ... I can't ... I asked ..., she turned ... I'm a customer ... she's .... She couldn't ... me .... I was ..., but I kept ... her section. My feelings ..., I couldn't ... her ... my feelings. She wouldn't .... she said I make.., and I should ... I was.... My world .... I'll give her [ed. note: *HE* will GIVE *her*?], but I don't...."

And the kicker, folks: "*I'm a businessman, and WHATEVER [a "what", not a "who"...] I want, I always work hard to achieve. Life's too short to not go after what [I) want.

--...MYSELF

Count the times I, me, myself appear. Whew. Hard work.

And when "she" or "her" appears, it is not to discuse her life, feelings or perceptions. Oh no, folks, her story is only worth telling insofar as she is reacting to the actions of the True Center of the Universe-i.e., this shockingly narcissistic and self-centered letterwriter who is stalking this woman.

From Wikipedia "Stalking" entry:
------------------------------
In "A Study of Stalkers" Mullen et al.. (2000)[9][13] identified five types of stalkers:

(1) Rejected stalkers pursue their victims in order to reverse, correct, or avenge a rejection (e.g. divorce, separation, termination).

(2) Resentful stalkers pursue a vendetta because of a sense of grievance against the victims – motivated mainly by the desire to frighten and distress the victim.

(3) Intimacy seekers seek to establish an intimate, loving relationship with their victim. To them, the victim is a long-sought-after soul mate, and they were 'meant' to be together.

(4)Incompetent suitors, despite poor social or courting skills, have a fixation, or in some cases a sense of entitlement to an intimate relationship with those who have attracted their amorous interest. Their victims are most often already in a dating relationship with someone else.

(5) Predatory stalkers spy on the victim in order to prepare and plan an attack – usually sexual – on the victim.

...

Many stalkers fit categories with paranoia disorders. Intimacy-seeking stalkers often have delusional disorders involving erotomanic delusions. With rejected stalkers, the continual clinging to a relationship of an inadequate or dependent person couples with the entitlement of the narcissistic personality, and the persistent jealousy of the paranoid personality.
------------------------------

Letterwriter, you are 3 with flavors of 4 mixed in.

Get. Help. And leave that woman alone.

What's especially concerning is that he can't recognize that she's afraid of him, or he just doesn't care. Not making eye contact, rejecting gifts, and telling him to go elsewhere because he makes her uncomfortable are pretty obvious signals. Most men would be embarrassed by this, realizing that they were coming off as a pervert. But this one doesn't seem to mind. Also the fact that he's continually escalating his feelings for her, without any reciprocation, or even acknowledgment, is a major red flag. I doubt he'll stop, because he's not sane enough to realize that what he's doing is cruel.

Hopefully she has some male friends and family who can deal with him. Something tells me that it's going to take a beating.

Attractive young women in the service industry always attract emotionally-stunted older creeps mooning after them. When I was 23 and working in a health food store, I had no less than four sleazing around after me, and all of them at the magical midlife crisis age. Blech!

Creeps, these workers are being nice as a condition of their employment, not because they like you "that way."

Gah, filter eating my comments again.

Lobster, your advice made me think of my husband, when we were dating. On our first date, he brought me a single rose. I found out later he had actually bought a dozen, since the shop where he bought them didn't sell single roses, and he gave the rest to a friend to avoid freaking me out.

There's something to be said for the slow approach. Flowers and love letters are nice, but not as a prelude to a first date.

MonicaP, your husband sounds like a sweet *and* sensible guy. That's a lovely story. Well done for hanging on to him :)

all of them at the magical midlife crisis age

A lot of middle aged men don't get that young women, in their early 20's or so, don't see them 'that way'. They seem to think that they're in the running with younger men, or even have an advantage because they're more established. But it's very rare to meet a man that age who would really have a change with a woman so much younger. I think that TV gives men an unrealistic idea of how young women see them.

One word: stalker.

I waitressed in my early twenties and had to deal with men like this a lot. I had to change my phone number three times until finally I had to move and quit my job.

Falling in 'love' with a woman with whom contact has not gone beyond serving him lunch is pathetic. Complete strangers who think they know what is better for you than you do, without them knowing a thing about you, is pathetic.

Sadly for this waitress, she probably has a few other regular customers who think the same about her as this creep.
----
Monica P is correct that, "Flowers and love letters are nice, but not as a prelude to a first date."

When we were DATING, my future husband often spent his lunch hour rushing to the florist and then to my work. Yet those pathetic losers who professed their love for me, without knowing a thing about me but where I worked, could not help but tell me that my boyfriend (an excellent husband) was not good enough for me. One loser even published a book of poetry titled after a poem about his love for me - his editor (a well respected fellow in his field) was also a regular customer of mine. Damned if I even know the poet's name. I ran from that job before the book was published.

Yikes. Straight out of De Becker's _The Gift of Fear_.

@Jack "What's especially concerning is that he can't recognize that she's afraid of him, or he just doesn't care"

Thanks Jack - this is why his behavior is creepy, and it's been going on for a long time too. Combine with the line about - in business I get what a I want - and his behavior is definitely creepy.

Speaking of virtual girlfriend ... WSJ today

http://online.wsj(dot) com/article/SB10001424052748703632304575451414209658940.html?KEYWORDS=virtual+girlfriend

After choosing one of three female characters—goodie-goodie Manaka, sassy Rinko or big-sister type Nene—to be a steady girlfriend, the player taps a stylus on the DS touch-screen in order to walk hand-in-hand to school, exchange flirtatious text messages and even meet in the school courtyard for a little afternoon kiss. Using the device's built-in microphone, the player can carry on sweet, albeit mundane, conversations.

I suspect that waitresses are especially vulnerable to encountering men like this because they're in a serving role, they have to be polite, and waitressing is considered a relatively low status profession. It all plays into a sort of narcissistic white knight fantasy for certain middle aged men. Her role enables them to justify why she 'should' want them, because he'll save her and take care of her, even though she is otherwise out of their league.

It's not clear from the context: is he following the half your age plus 7 rule?

She's less than 25 ,he's 40, so no.

Jail for Uncle Skeevy seems like a possibility if he persists with this behavior. Other possibilities may be more likely, and probably more palatable (for him, anyway), including:

a. Being banned from the restaurant. The manager is allowed to do that, no matter how high-powered a businessman he is.

b. A restraining order, which, since he's used to getting what he wants, he may or may not observe.

Outcome "a." would be merely embarassing, but possibly painful if the manager and the busboys take him out back to explain things to him further. Outcome "b." would have the added effect of damaging his reputation and affecting his business.

*****Yikes. Straight out of De Becker's _The Gift of Fear_. *****

Exactly. And wasn't it De Becker who said the inability to hear the word "no" was a FREAKING HUGE RED FLAG???

Run girl, run!

I worked with a guy once that had this type of unrealistic expectation for a relationship with an attractive much younger woman who worked in the same office we did. He was a nice guy but had no idea how to approach women. He was in his 40's and had never been married, and probably never would be married because his expectations of what was possible ( a hot young 20 something)exceeded by a factor of about 10, what he could realistically attract. He drove a newer model red sporty car BECAUSE he had gotten the idea that a nice car was the way to attract women. Men like this think dating and acquiring a mate is something like fly fishing in that you make the bait attractive enough, get the fish to bite and set the hook. They don't see building and maintaining a relationship as a lifelong process. Many of these men in my opinion suffer from various degrees of mild autism spectrum disorders. They have no "feel" for how to develop a relationship so they imitate what they see on TV, or in the movies with no understanding that courting a partner is not like assembling a jig saw puzzle. They don't "get it" and they never will "get it" but the smart ones realize that they don't "get it" and they either give up or accidentally stumble into a friendship with a woman who "gets" them and takes the lead in teaching them how to be a good partner in a relationship or friendship.

LW should learn to chase a lot of girls all the time, don't get hung up on one. Age is not important. Check out the hooker-hotties on Craigslist to blow off some steam. It's often cheaper than dating anyway. It might even be cheaper than all those dinners you are buying.
If you get a serious relationship going, then fine, then fall in love (though keep the playing field open, you never know when something better will com along, for you or your girl).

In short, never-ever put all your eggs in one basket, or think any girl is special. Last I checked, there are about 3 billion women on the planet, and according to scientific study, they tend to clump in the middle of the bell curve by intelligence and personality. There are few outliers.

The more relationships you have, the more it will seem you are just seeing the same woman over and over again.

"I'll give her space for a few months and eat elsewhere, but I don't want to move on."

Am I the only one who can imagine him going from that statement to something along the lines of "If I can't have her, no one can"? He sounds like a scary person to have around.

He needs to get a clue and I hope the waitress is secure enough in her job to tell the manager what has been going on. Having the guy banned would be a good first step.

Really great comments on this thread, especially Lobster and Spartee...Number6, Isabelle, many others. You've all shown amazing insight and made terrific suggestions too.

I'd just like to point out that it doesn't say he's 40. I got the impression that he was relatively young, thus he's acting out of immaturity, thinking he can just woo her into liking him. Of course, that won't work, but maybe he just honestly doesn't know what he's doing. He may indeed have some degree of autism or lack the ability to read social cues. I took him as more immature and inexperienced than creepy.

LS in the other column the same guy acknowledges that he's 40, and he's just as creepy in that column as well ;)

Melissa, now I have to tell this story:

Back when I was 23, I worked in the health food department of a Sears store in the Chicago 'burbs. One slow Tuesday, a middle-aged businessman came into my department and hung around and hung around, chatting me up and asking questions about products we both knew he had no intention of buying.

Eventually he asked, "Do you have anything to increase sex drive?" Fed up, I looked him dead in the eye and said, "Have you tried a fourteen year old Vietnamese girl?" He sputtered, turned red, and got the hell out of my department.

I'm lucky he didn't report me to management, but I still cherish the memory.

Amy, you put these in the wrong order.

This guy's a creep. He relishes the fact that this girl has to be nice to him.

I stopped hitting on waitresses and bartenders when it finally dawned on me that it's unfair to them because they can't just tell you to FOAD.

Also - if you find yourself obsessing, put yourself somewhere else.

I love your comment, Lobster, but I have one slight disagreement: I don't think saying that LW is creepy necessarily means that we think he's dangerous. For me, anyway. I don't always associate being creepy with a threat of danger. Creepy to me is what the waitress told the LW: he makes her uncomfortable. It's that shiver of revulsion you get from someone like this guy who isn't acting threatening but won't leave you alone even when you ask, and it's all under the guise of him being such a nice guy. If he had been doing or saying anything dangerous, it would actually be easier for her to get him out of the restaurant. But, like I said above, it's hard to do anything about someone that just makes you feel uncomfortable.

And while I do think this is definitely stalking behavior, I don't really get the whiff of actual danger off this guy yet. I say yet because he hasn't seen her anywhere but her very public place of employment, but it's not a huge leap for me to see him finding out where she lives and setting up watch outside her home. I hope that his insistence on seeing her when she has said she doesn't want to see him will finally get him tossed out of the restaurant.

LW should read up on Stockholm Syndrome. You can usually get someone's address from a PI for $100 (they have connections to auto insurance companies, who can get addresses from DMV).

There are a couple interesting movies on the market, "The Collector" is one.

Good luck.

ROFL Dana!

Great one, Dana!

Sorry, I hadn't read the other column before this one. At 40, this guy is creepy, not just immature. It's one thing if she'd given him any encouragement, but for him to say he'll "allow" her some space and that he's planing to pursue her like a business deal is disturbing. And the fact he writes Amy back pondering their age difference, as if they're already in a relationship, is even more so.

i work in a customer service job as well that dictates i be nice to everyone (whether i want to or not) - and i'm not exactly a proverbial spring chicken (50) - but it is amazing how many men seem to think that my existence allows them to call, email (work email that is easily obtained), show up and make very suggestive comments and offers. i had one (even older than i am!) codger start sending me drunken emails at 3 AM asking what he had done to offend me since i didn't want to go to lunch with him, accept flowers, gifts of clothing, jewelry, etc.
creepy is creepy at whatever age - thankfully my employer understands this and helps me put a stop to it all as quickly as he can.
the letter writer needs to become a person and not just a creep.

Zelda it's the serving role, it's sets off certain men, they find it erotic.

A = "In short, never-ever put all your eggs in one basket, or think any girl is special."

B = "The more relationships you have, the more it will seem you are just seeing the same woman over and over again."

Advice A leads to Result B.

Mr. 'Beside Myself', if you're reading these comments then read this story

http://tinyurl.com/3x3xtc7

that guy stalked a woman for 35 years, and didn't give up even when a judge sentenced him to banishment from his own town. Yes banishment. Your behavior can lead to punishments you usually only hear about in bad sci-fi movies.

@LW: Don't you hate it when your heart does stupid things. It's obvious she's not interested, so move on.

I have feelings for a woman who doesn't know I'm alive, too. But instead of creeping her out, I'm trying to improve my image and lifestyle so that, maybe one day, I can measure up to her enough to ask her out like a normal human being, rather than writing creepy love letters.

I'm with you, zelda. I worked in retail starting as a teenager and I was surprised at the number of men (some of whom were shopping for their wives) who would go beyond casual flirting behavior. The worst was when I'd ask a man what size his wife wore and he'd look me up and down and say she was about my size and could I try it on for him. Happened more than once, if you can believe it. A couple of times when I worked in the lingerie section. Like Steve said, some men just get off on having a woman serve them. This happens to female bartenders all the time, I'd imagine.

NumberSix, regarding female bartenders: My SIL worked for years as a bartender at an upscale bar and grill restaurant in the Chicago 'burbs. After she married, her bosses suddenly decided she wasn't good looking enough anymore -- too old -- to draw customers -- which, I believe, is not a legal reason to remove someone from a job they have performed well for many years.

Truth is, she was jaw-droppingly beautiful, looked just like her mom did at her age, and her mom was a beauty queen. They just figured that a wedding ring on her finger would kill a lot of customer fantasies about the beautiful girl behind the bar.

She made a few noises about legality and kept the job for several more years, but it was instructive.

No matter how many ways you slice it, it's simply not morally right to force somebody to keep handing over their own money month after month to someone they don't actually want to be giving it to. It's about as ethical as forcing you to pay for piano lessons every month even if you hate the piano. If a bar owner can get more business with a hotter younger single bartender, sorry, but it's their money, nobody's morally entitled to be able to use the force of unethical laws to crack open their wallets and help themselves.

Its only stalking if you are not a 30-year-old studly Mcdreamy Doctor with a Porsche who plays water polo on the weekends....

@mike ...of course, Dr. Mcdreamy probably has enough social skills and finesse with women that he wouldn't come across as creepy, and if someone wasn't interested he'd shrug and move on to the next one, hence this letter would never have been written.

But in general you're 100% right: we cut attractive, desirable people wayy more slack, even when its a complete double standard. I remember reading a study that showed that attractive men and women were consistenly perceived as more honest, trustworthy, smarter, etc...its just how were hardwired I guess.

I think this guy has fallen for some the myths about love and romance that are perpetuated by certain movies and music in our culture. Such as the idea of each of us having one true love and that we will magically connect with that person when we meet them. It has elements of the love at first sight idea as well. In addition, he has fallen in love with an imaginary person who only exists in his mind; however, he has assigned the name and face of a real person to his imaginary love. I used to do that all the time when I was younger. A couple of nasty divorces will cure him of that.

BTW, there seems to be a lot of misandry in the comments of this post. The urge that leads a woman to coo at a baby or say ‘awwww’ when seeing one, and the urge that leads a man to say ‘wow’ and stare at an attractive woman are both manifestations of the same biological drive. That is the drive to perpetuate the species. However, as a society, we have decided that the woman’s urge is wholesome and innocent and a man’s urge is not. Those of you who think older men who come on to younger women in bars and restaurants are creeps seem to be totally oblivious to the fact that a certain number of younger women flirt with older men to make better tips, or go further than that for other benefits. A man never knows what kind of woman he is talking to until she lets him know.

BTW, there seems to be a lot of misandry in the comments of this post.

Could you point out specifically where this is? Just because we call men like the LW on their crap doesn't mean that we hate men. We call women on their crap all the time over here. It just happens that this LW is a man, so we comment accordingly. If you're looking for misandry, you might want to go elsewhere.

I think the big difference between cooing at a baby and checking out a member of the opposite sex is this: people seldom abandon their own babies for a cuter baby. Both men and women often abandon their spouses for a more desirable member of the opposite sex.

So there's a sense of danger in having your spouse check someone out that doesn't exist when your spouse coos over a baby.

...and most women will not harass the baby until it has sex with them ...

The other difference between cooing at a baby and checking out members of the opposite sex is that while occasionally babies get snatched by crazy ladies, it's nowhere near as prevalent as rape, stalking, even murder by men obsessed with women. Women live with a day-to-day threat of violence that men simply cannot understand.

Well, and very few women have lost their jobs because they refused to let the boss hold their baby.

Obviously he won't give up until he gets the answer he wants either: http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox.html

If you are reading this later, it's the Tuesday, September 28 column.

Make NO MISTAKE, THIS GUY IS A CREEP! He can't take no for an answer, MULTIPLE times. I worked as a waitress for a number of years when I was in my 20s. (I am in my 30s now) As an attractive woman I was hit on numerous times and some of them were very unpleasant. If someone had behaved this way towards me I would have gone straight to my boss, who fortunately was a good boss and once he threw out one of my TORMENTERS for me. I also would have gone to my other coworkers and asked if I could swap a table with one of them for the time period in which this creep was there so I would not have had to be his waitress. My boss one time actually waited on a table for me when the drunken contracters became obscene, persistant and vulgar. (he was a great boss)

I found it interesting that males on here seem to cut the guy more slack, but they are wrong. Persistant and unwanted contact by a man is a danger sign to any woman that has an ounce of common sense and understands that they are VUNERABLE and this behavior is a giant red flag.

Ladies, don't put up with a man like this, they are bad news and possibly dangerous. What would happen if you did go out with him once? You would never be able to get rid of him and because his feelings would escalate he would only get worse; especially if he thinks he has a chance or is rejected after a pity date.

Gentlemen, acting the way this perv is, is creepy, unacceptable, extremely off-putting, and potentially very dangerous.

I know a man that fits this criteria as well, except it is worse, he is 65 years old. He thinks speedos are a good idea when he hangs out all day everyday at the various public pool/spa facilities. He ALWAYS smells like sun screen, tries to be way too friendly with young ladies and can't stop talking about young girls he thinks like him. THEY DON'T. HE does not know how to act with a woman even half his age. He was asked to leave one hot spring spa because he was making people feel uncomfortable. The reason HE says he got kicked out? For his own protection because there are gangs at the hot spring spas. He is clueless. I can't stand him and I won't go anywhere with him because he is embarrassing, disgusting and no matter how much I tried to explain in the beginning of meeting him he always guides the converstation back to why it is OK to wear speedos at 65, harrass young ladies at a spa and wear/smell like sun screen everyday,and his inappropriate behavior and conversation towards young women all the time. I have since stopped trying. He is friends with my husband and I flat out refused to invite him to a party that I had for a celebration of my 10 anniversay with my husband because I didn't want him anywhere near my 3 beautiful developing nieces. If I think about him looking at them, I have a strong urge to hit him. Without fail every woman I know that knows him thinks he is ultra creepy,(A picture of him that I saw made him look honestly, just like Freddy Kruger!- He even had the Christmas sweater... so much so I was forcibly reminded of Freddy when I first saw the picture and others agree) but no matter how many times you tell him, (I have personally tried more than once.)he does not understand how his actions affect those around him. he never hears or listens to anyone. Even though, like this jerk he asks for my, and others advice.

Some men don't seem to understand the impact he has on women, but all women have the same view of him that I have spoken with. He is creepy and they do not want to spend any time with him.

If you don't want to be seen as a creep DO NOT ACT LIKE THIS GUY! This creep has become a tormentor to the waitress. She needs to enlist the help of the rest of the staff too. There is always more than one way out of this. FOR THE LADY.