"Looking for a real woman," roughly translated, means, "Pneumatic Nancy has sprung a leak, so I'm going to try flesh and blood this time."

Non-transgendered former male?

I have no idea. I've never advertised - married before the printing press was invented and the monks wouldn't take my ad.

Amy's right. It doesn't mean anything, at least anything consistent.

My impression is that men simply use this to mirror what they see in women's online profiles, which very frequently say things like, "I'm a real woman."

Being a "real woman" online seems to equal overweight, as in, "Real women have curves!" Usually those curves are all convex.

Or, given the anonymity of the 'net, a "real woman" could be taken literally as an attempt to warn off attention-starved guys who create female profiles so they'll get some interaction on those sites.

What they ask for:
Real woman: human femal wh was born with a vagina and grew her own breasts.

What they want;
Playboy model looks, incl. Shaved vagoo w/ additional silicon and her own trust fund.

What they eventually settle for:
under 250 lbs, gainfully employed, showers weekly and not crazy.

"What they eventually settle for:
under 250 lbs, gainfully employed, showers weekly and not crazy."

A lot of guys will settle for any two of those!

The above comments have been so funny, I don't mind so much being snowed in today.

Do any of you remember the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books? I always liked the idea of a Babelfish, and I'd love the idea of something similar, but applied to these ads.

DatingBabelfish would translate "seeking real woman" with what Old RPM Daddy said. It would also translate "F seeking M, just want a nice guy" into "but I only really date and sleep with jerks!"

"... a 'real woman' could be taken literally as an attempt to warn off attention-starved guys who create female profiles so they'll get some interaction on those sites."

Is that, like, common? Do people do that a lot?

Based on the guys I know, this could mean one of a short list of things. He could be looking for:
1) June Cleaver - Traditional '50s housewife,
2) A woman who hunts, fishes, hikes, will go to NASCAR events, and bring him a beer, or
3) Someone who will work, take care of the house and the kids, and feed his lazy ass while he sits around all day and drinks beer.

I'm partial to Robert A. Heinlein's ideal woman - a Lady in Public, and a Whore in the bedroom.

Wayne,
I was thinking Heinlein would probably have a field day with these kinds of things. I mean, seriously, the man who wrote "Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her cloths and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires." would have had the Best.Profile.Ever. Assuming there wasn't a Mrs Heinlein at the time.

Another fave quote "One man's theology is another man's belly laugh."

Linky goodness for y'all
http://tinyurl.com/4ftpzod

Is that, like, common? Do people do that a lot?

My ex-husband used to pretend to be a lesbian on lesbian dating sites, so probably.

My ex-husband used to pretend to be a lesbian on lesbian dating sites, so probably.

Back in the heady days of chat and the BBS we had a saying - Every woman you meet on line is a man.

And my friends can't figure out why I'm hesitant to try online dating. Looks like not much has changed.

Not sure where Helga gets her information, but it is more like this:

Would like a sexy girlfriend that likes her boyfriend to appreciate her sexyness, shaved is better because who wants to pick their teeth afterwards, and silicon is almost never necessary, and unless one is a surfboard, it is probably a liability.

The trust fund...bah humbug, we care about legs opening, not wallets. However a healthy respect for cost of living is a good idea. Rich people might not mind paying for their girlfriends credit cards, the rest of us sure as shit do.

Gainfully employed...well we're looking for a wife or girlfriend, not an employee and sure as shit not a dependent child. She should have her life together, and that includes a job, it doesn't have be big, a sales girl or a waittress, or a vp in marketing for goldman sachs, doesn't matter.

"3) Someone who will work, take care of the house and the kids, and feed his lazy ass while he sits around all day and drinks beer."

Does anyone care what broke unemployed fat guys want in a woman?

Does anyone care what broke unemployed fat guys want in a woman?

Unemployed fat guys care.

"The trust fund...bah humbug, we care about legs opening, not wallets."

Aw, a true romantic.

It's a guy thing. Sometimes we say that to each other (when no women are around). "She's a real woman."

Usually, it means a gamer, a woman who is sexy, doesn't break down and cry like a little girl. No snivelers. Doesn't have eating affectations, could or is raising kids etc. A real woman.

Now, to put that in a singles ad and think that means a "real woman" will respond....hahahaha

Still, it should not be too hard for a woman to understand the meaning of these three words. When a woman says, "He's a real man," it pretty much means the same thing.

Well, it could be. I have heard women refer to a man as a "real man" not because of his six pack abs, but because he honored word, took care of his family, showed up for work on time etc. and no, didn't dress in costumes or odd clothing.

But, it may depend on what crowd you run in, and America is the land of strange and small subcultures, many of which I am unaware. I just ran into an old fiends who has 15 1958-9 Chevy Impalas, down from 30 of a few years back.

Now, in a man's book, that is a real man.

A 58 Chevy is a very rare auto, because most of them fell apart by 1962. I had one.

When a guy asks for a "real Woman" it means he is trying to get away from the fake Barbie types who scream when they see a spider, can barely find the gas tank on a car, can't cook, and can't hold their own weight. A Real Woman can hold her own.

"What if ..."

Sounds like a real woman to me.

I probably should clarify that my definition really boils down to the last like,"A Real Woman can hold her own."

And to be honest, I'm not entirely sure what the consensus is on the current definition of "Real Man." Do we eat quiche these days or no?

A real woman? I guess Miss Polly Urethane with optional vibrating attachments doesn't cut it.

Seriously, it's nebulous. The only thing you can infer from such a statement is that he has his own ideas as to how women should look, act, be, and that's what he wants. You could also infer that he's something of an idiot.

"Looking for a real woman"...waste of space in a personal ad.

Hmm. I'm speculating but I would interpret "real woman" to be implying someone non-frigid - someone who is comfortable in, and enjoys, her femininity, sensuality and sexuality. Many men probably fear ending up with these boring-in-the-sack sexuality-is-bad women that are actually horribly common, and may disguise it during early stages of a relationship.

More likely though, these men are just mindlessly and unthinkingly regurgitating the same tired old brain-dead cliches that 'sound/feel' good and that they've heard a thousand times from everyone else. There are lots of these, like 'I want someone who lives life to the "fullest"'.

"Again, the "real man" term is far, far less nebulous than "real woman," which can mean any number of things -- or nothing, really, at all."

Correct. Say "real man", my mind immediately conjures up certain objective qualities, and these notions would be shared by others upon hearing the phrase. Say "real woman" and my mind conjures up almost nothing at all.

Male here... I have read a lot of online profiles for women and they all say the same thing 90% of the time when you get to the "what i'm looking for" section.

So putting "real women" is just a way for guys to shorten that whole section. You know how we like to keep it short and to the point ;)

i adore this blog post. i have told my pal dan about it because he cares for this sort of stuff as well!