LW you should look up the term " pump and dump".

Girls like yours can be alot of fun, but you don't want to get serious with them. Treat her like shit and she'll adore you. DO NOT get her pregnant. She may wise up some day, but it won't be with you, so have your fun and then get rid of her. You've been warned.

Should I stay with her while she struggles to overcome her past?

Considering you're making it easier for her to run all over you by voluntarily lying down in front of her car, it doesn't sound as if she's struggling with anything. As long as you keep taking it, she'll keep dishing it. It's not too hard to figure out, LW: she's relishing being the controlling one for a change. And you're spouting self-help jargon in an attempt to look as if you're standing up for yourself. If you didn't want to be in that type of relationship, you wouldn't. Yes, she sought out a guy she could walk all over. But you sought out a woman who would walk all over you.

Sever the relationship and spend your convalescence growing a backbone and figuring out why you put yourself in those situations.

Narcissistic psychos often project what is wrong with them onto someone else. In other words, there probably wasn't a damn thing wrong with the ex-boyfriend and this isn't some sort of 'growth phase' she is going through. She's likely the narcissistic psycho.

Guess how she'll describe you to her next sucker?

@LW

You need to ask yourself: Is the 'social credit' you get from her being on your arm and is the sex good enough for you to put up with her mind buggery?

Because it sound's like she's screwing with your mind every day. If she isn't screwing your body at the same rate, it's just not worth it.

Heck, even if she was, it isn't worth it, but I don't think you'll buy that.

LW, it seems like your issue boils down to this: "I have a girlfriend, but she's manipulative and makes me nuts. Should I stay with her?"

Phrased like that, does the question seem that hard to answer? I'll bet you've got better things to do than put up with mind games.

Well, we don't really know what he means by "emotional rollercoaster". That doesn't necessarily mean she's manipulative. She sounds conflicted, unsure of herself and what she's doing, probably because she was in such a bad relationship.

It can be hard breaking away from a narcissist. They know how to get inside your head and stay there, even when they're not around.

In the first relationship I had after breaking up with my ex, I made all these mistakes - mentioning him too often, pulling away at times, then being clingy and needy the next.

The guy broke up with me - saying he didn't think I was ready (he was right!) - but now, he has let me know that he regrets not waiting through it. I probably seemed like a bad bet at the time, but I was rebounding. So, LW, if the breakup was relatively recent, this may just be the period she's in, and she'll work through it. If not, it's probably who she really is and who she will likely stay.

Yes, lovelysoul, but can he afford to take that chance and how long did it take you to get 'right in the head'?

Six months of nuts is a LOOONNNGGG six months.

Can you find another girlfiend, or is there something so freakishly wrong with you that this is your only chance for sex and companionship?

Let's not rush into a snap judgement here.

"Yes, lovelysoul, but can he afford to take that chance and how long did it take you to get 'right in the head'?"

I'd say it probably took me 2 years. But I was married for 20, so the length of recovery roughly coincides with the length of the relationship (there's some formula...can't remember, but I think it's 2 months for every year of the relationship or something like that...and that may be for widowhood, but I think the grieving and getting past things would be similar).

Whether she's worth the wait or not really depends on his feelings for her, and hers for him. How willing is she to work on things and truly get better?

But I would suggest, if he continues to see her, he should keep things more casual for awhile. Don't move in together or anything. Maybe even date others. If she ends up stabilizing and being ready for a relationship, he'll still be around, but, in the meantime, he shouldn't foreclose other possibilities.

Well, if the LW is willing to enable this girl to keep making him question whether he should stay with her, that right there ought to tell him she's not ready for a relationship and he should dial it back some. LS is right, don't move in with her, keep it casual, and maybe see other people in the meanwhile. Let time do its thing as far as helping her heal.

Dump her. Grow a pair.

"Well, we don't really know what he means by "emotional rollercoaster". That doesn't necessarily mean she's manipulative."

It pretty much does mean she's manipulative. I can't think of anything else offhand that causes an emotional roller coaster.

Note that three months into this relationship, he's already wrapped around the axle.

LW, you haven't invested anything yet. Bang her once more for good measure and move on.

Mark D's comment above was spot on, in a typo sort of way......"Can you find another girlfiend ..."

"It pretty much does mean she's manipulative. I can't think of anything else offhand that causes an emotional roller coaster."

There are two types of people that can create an emotional rollercoaster. One is a drama queen (king) who always creates drama to get attention and/or manipulate. These people ALWAYS cause drama, no matter what else is going on, and they will show a past history of this in all their relationships.

The other kind is someone who is in legitimate turmoil due to life events, such as a divorce, breakup, or some other major change. They are riding an emotional roller coaster themselves, so trying to be with them during this time may feel like riding a roller coaster.

The LW doesn't say how long she's been apart from the ex, but if she's still mentioning him so much, it's probably not that long. My guess is that she's in a rebound situation with LW, and she may still be conflicted over the ex or have issues from past events that she needs to resolve, but LW is frustrated that she can't just put the past behind her and focus on their new relationship.

He's only known her for 3 months, apparently, so he can't really judge which of these types of people she is. So, he should step back for awhile. She may, in fact, stabilize and be ready for a relationship, but she certainly isn't ready right now.

Hmmm... three months in and you're writing advice columns for help.

Well, here's your answer. You're doomed.

BTW—"Bang her once more for good measure and move on" sounds like a good plan.

Honestly Mr. Mature Love and Psycho Girl may be about right for each other. I'm actually more worried about the girl. She's just getting over a bad ex and gets in with some guy whose telling her that they're in love after three months and spouting a lot of new age BS. Also the 'mature love' line suggests to me that he's older than her, by enough that he feels that he's entitled to define maturity for her.

"Narcissistic psychos often project what is wrong with them onto someone else. In other words, there probably wasn't a damn thing wrong with the ex-boyfriend and this isn't some sort of 'growth phase' she is going through. She's likely the narcissistic psycho. Guess how she'll describe you to her next sucker?"

Exactly what I was going to say (except I probably wouldn't have put it this well). Every time a man has described to me how his fucked-up relationship would be perfect but for the legacy of his girl's ex, I smile to myself knowingly.

Tough one. How big are her tits?

"seems to relish treating me like"... a piece of shit. Anyone who relishes treating another badly even once has the capability of repeating this bad behaviour again and again. LW should get out while the gettin's good.