You've Got Stale
I'm a woman who's been online dating for two years. I've noticed that people who've been on the dating site as long as I have often put up different pictures. By never changing my picture in two years, am I broadcasting that I'm a loser? I feel changing it seems more loserish, as in, "Hey, anyone want me from a different angle?"
--Still Here
Do you also suspect Banana Republic is going out of business every time they update their store windows? Changing your picture is a way to say "New and Improved!" -- a classic advertising gambit that seems to perk up sales despite everybody knowing it probably means "Toothpaste's largely the same, but check out the butterfly and sparklies we added to the package!" Keep in mind that research has shown that men are drawn to flirty, smiley shots of women, and common sense says to avoid cropping all your photos at the shoulders, as this leaves a little too much mystery about what shape the rest of you is in. Have fun while posing and you should seem like you're having fun putting yourself out there -- as opposed to having fears that the next man at your side will be the utility worker who discovers you sitting mummified on your couch.
Freshening up your online dating picture is like prepping your garden for spring so the plants will be able to bloom!
DorianTB at December 6, 2011 6:04 PM
There's absolutely nothing wrong with having at least one or two pics reflect whatever season you're currently in. Regardless, all of your pics should accurately represent who you are now, otherwise you're wasting your time and someone else's.
Razor at December 6, 2011 9:22 PM
Why does she care what anybody thinks? Any guy who is interested enough to be stalking her profile and monitoring how long the same photo has been there is either someone she's already rejected or somebody she should reject.
Change the photo. You may get fresh interest from those who might not have been drawn to your old photo. That's not "loserish". It's smart marketing.
LS at December 7, 2011 7:02 AM
I don't think she needs to change her picture every week or anything, but I don't know if a two-year-old picture is "current." I'd think, at a minimum, she should update her photo seasonally (or whenever she does something different with her hair.)
ahw at December 7, 2011 7:19 AM
Frequently changing the picture assures the viewer that he's looking at a recent photo, rather than the one you took ten years and 125 pounds earlier. It also shows that you have an interest in maintaining your profile, rather than adopting a fisherman's approach: cast the line and take a snooze until you feel a tug.
The same photo for two years? Sorry, that's way too long. You should be changing photos monthly.
Patrick at December 7, 2011 11:17 AM
Yeah, I think it probably works against her. If people see that she's had the same photo for two years, they'll figure it might've even been old when she put it up. Changing photos shows that you're keeping your profile current.
LW seems to be giving this way too much thought, even writing for advice on whether she should change a photo. I find that a little odd.
LS at December 7, 2011 11:32 AM
Monthly may be too much. I can't imagine taking photos I like of myself every month. Every year is fine unless something dramatic has changed, like you gained or lost a lot of weight or cut 6 inches off your hair.
MonicaP at December 7, 2011 4:02 PM
By never changing my picture in two years, am I broadcasting that I'm a loser? I feel changing it seems more loserish, as in, "Hey, anyone want me from a different angle?"
I'd say it depends on how frequently someone would change their photo. Constantly changing it might be perceived as more "loserish." I doubt that changing it annually would be viewed that way.
Jim at December 11, 2011 3:00 PM
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