I said it on another thread, the V-day haters I've met (in the real world, not online, I'm sure you all are the exception but I haven't actually met you) fall into these categories:

1) Single and bitter
2) In a relationship with someone they don't see as a serious long-term prospect, and they don't want to encourage them by acting romantic, or just don't care enough about the other person to get off their ass and do something nice that goes beyond "friendly nice"
3) Dating a person that falls into the #2 category

"...I sense that they look down on my boyfriend and me for celebrating it for real, as if we're just buying into a giant marketing campaign."

LW: You buy into a giant marketing campaign exactly to the extent that you buy into a giant marketing campaign. And, by the way, who cares? If you and your boyfriend enjoy a romantic Valentine's Day, what difference does it make whether you do it the trendy way or not?

As for your single friends: Isn't celebrating Valentine's Day ironically kind of trendy too? Who's more conformist than someone trying to be hip and edgy? If they really wanted to be iconoclasts, they'd ignore Valentine's Day altogether.

So enjoy the cupcakes, candy, dinners, and jewelry (!), and let the singletons worry about themselves.

I agree with Nicole. The people who put it down are usually in a relationship like the one she describes, or with somebody who's just not romantic (though they may secretly wish for roses and candy). It's easier to pretend the whole day is stupid than admit to disappointment.

I always thought it was kind of pitiful to have one day that you were supposed to show your love to the one you love, or whatever. It always seemed self-defeating. Why pick up a box of candy once a year when I can show my fiance that I love him every day?

That said, I agree with Nicole, too... I wouldn't celebrate it with previous guys (see her points 2 and/or 3), but I did pick up something for this one this year, and sure enough, even after I'd told him I didn't believe in celebrating Valentine's Day, I got presents, too.

I'm in a very happy relationship and I think Valentine's Day is stupid. Also, I'm a very romantic guy, and that is why I think Valentine's Day is dumb. There's nothing quite as unromantic as a day of forced expressions of love.

I want to make a romantic gesture because I thought about it and wanted to do it, not because it's expected of me. That's not romance.

"I want to make a romantic gesture because I thought about it and wanted to do it, not because it's expected of me. That's not romance."

That's a nice sentiment, and it's wonderful that you're romantic all year long, but I could use that same logic with Christmas, for instance. I give my kids things all year long, so why should I be forced to buy them gifts just because it's Christmas?

Maybe technically I shouldn't, but I would've had some very disappointed little kids on Christmas mornings, as their friends excitedly called to talk about what THEY got.

Valentines Day sorta works the same way. Most women who say they don't care, would still be touched by a single rose or a sweet card, just because we know other guys are doing that for their women on that evening, and it shows that we're valued just as much.

I was watching "The Middle", and they had a Valentine's episode where the husband and wife agreed it was a stupid holiday, but they ended up going out with 2 other couples that night. A lady came by their table selling roses, and the other 2 husbands bought one for their wives, but Frankie's husband waved her off and skipped the rose in front of their friends. And Frankie was really upset! I thought that rang pretty true.

Celebrate it or don't. Some people acknowledge holidays by sneering at them and the people who celebrate them. That can be fun too, but after awhile it puts an unattractive crease in your face.

I love Valentine's Day specifically because it's NOT a forced expression of love. We decide to do it. We enjoy having one day a year where we do something extra special, like splurge on pricey ingredients and make a special dinner. We would go broke if we ate like that every night, but it's a fun treat.

People who say, "I treat every day like it's Valentine's Day" aren't being completely honest with themselves. I love my husband every day and express it often, but most days are more understated.

What irritates me most is the sense of smug self-righteousness some V-Day haters have about it. Like, "I don't need Hallmark to tell me how to express my love. I'm not a sheep like YOU people over there." As though it would never occur to people to express love unless there were overpriced cards telling them to do so.

Exactly, Monica. I may be wrong, but I think happy people tend to look for reasons to celebrate, not excuses to avoid it. These holidays are just built-in reminders, like Mother's Day or Father's Day, not to take each other for granted.

If your loved one dies, are you really going to feel great saying, "At least I didn't get sucked into buying him/her a mushy card on our last Valentine's Day together!?"

"If your loved one dies, are you really going to feel great saying, "At least I didn't get sucked into buying him/her a mushy card on our last Valentine's Day together!?"

Wish I'd said that.

Who cares about February 14? The better holiday is March 14 anyway.

www.steakandbjday.com

Personally I celebrate Feb 15th more than Feb 14th.
What's Feb 15th you ask?
Why it's Half-Priced Chocolate Day.

"What's Feb 15th you ask?
Why it's Half-Priced Chocolate Day."

Which is precisely why my wife commanded that I bring her no chocolate on Valentine's Day. She's very practical that way.

Joe J., which I why I suggest that people celebrate Christmas on New Year's Day. You have an entire week to shop for post-Christmas sales.

I bitch about this Hallmark holiday constantly. Seriously, check out my blog if you don't believe me.

This year, DBF gave me a hoodie with an obscure Stephen King reference and I gave him a t-shirt with a Dr. Horrible reference.

We are such geeks.

My argument against V-Day stands. It's 99.9% geared towards what MEN can do for WOMEN. I would love it if ONE OF YOU could show me ONE AD where women were encouraged to buy their men something.

Go ahead. I'll wait. And wait. And wait.

I call bullshit.

Nicole K, fuck right the hell off. We've been together 11 years. Pull your head out of your ass. It's a RETAIL holiday. IS YOUR IQ 27????

And LS (aka Lovelysoul), you've been on my moron list for awhile now. Thanks for cementing that for me.

Daghain, I'd say you proved Nicole's and my point nicely. Unhappy people in unhappy relationships act the way you just did.

Daghain, what are you talking about? You celebrated Valentine's Day! Buying something OTHER THAN chocolate, jewelry, or flowers is not that original. (And Joss Whedon's Dr. Horrible is pretty mainstream, so you can also strike that off your list of things that make you "so crazy.")

Retailers aren't some hive mind trying to make men feel less special. Those companies advertise for this particular holiday because that's what's profitable for them. (See also 'Every Other Holiday.') Men are more likely to need suggestions when it comes to gift buying, but that doesn't mean they HAVE to call Teleflora.
Anyone who lets commercials steer his life is an idiot.

Valentine's Day has a rich and interesting history and was not created by retailers: http://www.history.com/topics/valentines-day

It's no more commercial than Halloween or Christmas. And people, kids included, have been exchanging cards since the Victorian era.

Your obscene rant (which calls people pedophiles for giving their kids cards) makes you sound nuts.

If a guy tells you he doesn't believe in Valentine's Day when he knows you like it, then he's not that into you. I feel awful for girls who have to tell their friends that their boyfriend did nothing to celebrate the occasion.

Cripes, Daghain, what's got your back up? You want to know something about Valentine's Day? Some people like it, and some people don't. Some people play, some don't. And as Insufficient Poison pointed out, you played.

And that is about all there is to it.

I'm happily married for almost 12 years. I don't think we've ever done anything for Valentine's day. I personally am not romantic, husband is. I am much more practical than he is and we have had disagreements when money is tight to not spend a lot of money on Christmas, Birthday and Anniversary gifts for each other. I'd rather forgo the presents-he doesn't. But I think we've never really fought over Valentine's day.

I think this year, I had to work late because I had an emergency dentist appointment.

Though I don't mind Feb 15th chocolate...and might consider celebrating Christmas on New Years for those same reasons.

I've been at work at times listening to all the men make frantic phone calls to make their wives happy. I feel bad for them.

Not commenting on the letter itself, but I saw a picture of the perfect Valentine breakfast for Amy: two eggs fried together, then cut into a heart shape, with a strip of bacon speared through it like an arrow.

I feel bad for their wives. How hard is it to remember an occasion that's meaningful to the person you love? Do they get frantic on birthdays too?

Valentine's day has a secondary purpose - to tall all single people "you're a loser since you can't even find someone to buy something for."

I bitch about this Hallmark holiday constantly. Seriously, check out my blog if you don't believe me.

No need. I believe you.

Also, you sound a bit deranged here. If you don't like V-Day, don't celebrate it.

But you DO celebrate it, so I don't understand your rant. Do you think your way of celebrating is superior because you bought each other geeky presents instead of chocolate? For me, the flowers were a break from the norm. For the last six months, my husband has been coming home with Doctor Who shirts he saw online and thought I would like.

Valentine's day has a secondary purpose - to tall all single people "you're a loser since you can't even find someone to buy something for."

That's just silly. I don't consider Mother's Day a day that exists to tell me I'm a loser because my mother is dead. It's not about me. People like to celebrate their relationships. And you don't need to have a romantic partner to celebrate, if you want to. You can buy a card for a friend or a family member.

my husband has been coming home with Doctor Who shirts he saw online and thought I would like.

Did they include this one? Because I just saw this for the first time yesterday and giggled out loud. Pretty sure my dog thinks I'm a geek.

I just banged down to the bottom of the comments without reading them all, but I hope that I'm not the only one who thinks that you should have heart-shaped rubber vomit available in Amy's Mall. ;)