Is the boyfriend a glittery vampire? Because he might be available now...

She should probably take her therapist up on that offer for meds.

She needs a new therapist. Seriously, this therapist may see her as job security because she'll be steady work for years without any of the risks of someone truly disturbed.

I understand they reccomended meds, but they also needed to get to the "why" of her Imaginary Friend. He ain't going nowhere til that happens, and if LW is like me (ie doesn't trust anyone as far as she can spit) and she hasn't come to trust this therapist, time to change.

I hope she gets the help she needs, she's got a helluva lot of work ahead of her.

"But, not even my therapist understands. She wants to hand me pills for the problem."

What kind of pills would you take for that? I'm not being waggish -- what would the pills be expected to do?

I'm confused. Is this an unrequited love or some kind of fantasy?

I would also like to know what meds would be prescribed. This doesn't sound like schizophrenia.

I would tell her just do it. Just say yes to the next few guys who ask her out, no matter how hard. Tell the man in your head that you will get back to him in a year or tell him that you want a threesome with a real person. I'm sure the fantasy man will understand.
BTW that is how religions start. A fantasy man or woman becomes so real that you can covine other people to believe.

convince other people to believe.

Hey, if she's happier with an imaginary man than a real one, so what? At least this way the only kids she'll neglect are imaginary ones. She's not hurting anyone. If she decides she'd rather be with an actual boyfriend than a pretend one, she can certainly do so any time she wants. She's only 19 and boys are pretty useless at that age anyway.

I'm also curious about the drug thing. What kind of drugs is her therapist wanting to prescribe, and what exactly are they supposed to do?

"What kind of pills would you take for that? I'm not being waggish -- what would the pills be expected to do?"

The only thing I can figure is anti-psychotics, which maybe would be indicated if there was a background of schizophrenia. But in my totally non-expert opinion, that doesn't seem to be the case here.

The Catholic church has a cure for this. The letter writer needs to join a convent.

I would imagine that the drugs the therapist has in mind is Zyprexa, or some other anti-psychotic/anti-hallucination drug.

But for those who are dissing the therapist, I'm sure that the treatment she's recommending is not simply drugs and nothing else. Apparently, her shrink is a psychiatrist, since that's the only therapist that can prescribe drugs.

While I agree that she shouldn't be so hung up on a fantasy, I also think a 19-year-old doesn't need a boyfriend. I mean if she has one, great, but if she doesn't want one I think its fine to focus on other things at that age. Or any age, but particularly then as she doesn't need to worry about her biological clock, and guys her age aren't likely to be terribly serious.

Wish I'd stuck with fantasy men at that age!

The Catholic church has a cure for this. The letter writer needs to join a convent.

Thread win!

But seriously. Young lady needs a reality check. Where are her parents? Any brothers and/or sisters? This just doesn't ring true to me, for some reason or other.

My question is how much influence does this imaginary boyfriend have on her life? I mean this seriously and it is germaine to the therapist question.

If she has two-way conversations, he "helps" her make decisions, she talks to him all the time, etc, then a better therapist and/or anti-psychotic may not be a bad idea.

If on the other hand she is just keeping "him" in the corner to trot out when she's feeling blue or lonely and needs a little fantasy life/romance kick, sounds okay but I agree with Amy that at 19 she probably needs to start weaning herself off this fantasy life and into real life - real boyfriend or not.

This letter is quite sad—and I believe this person will end up institutionalized at some point in the future.

Truth is, this "boyfriend" isn't doing any of the things she describes.

She's doing it herself when she thinks about "him". It gives her a shot in the arm, some confidence, energy, and happiness. It gives her some belief in her decisions and some security in failure.

But none of it is actually real. Oh the chemical reaction is real enough sure.

But without someone actually providing that aid, and the challenges of a real relationship...well she's just confident about a decision that is probably no better than if she'd just been without imagination at all. And there really is no security in her failures, because nobody is actually there to help her when her dream of selling imaginary butterfly nets fails to take off.

She may indeed need intense therapy. She may be batshit nuts.

She talks about this "person" as if they're real, but she is also completely aware that it is fantasy. She's retreated so far into her own mental cacoon that she bypasses living, she's not "insane" from what I see, just a withdrawn frightened girl comforted by the safe imagination as opposed to the scary and often difficult real world.

She reminds me of the younger sister character in "The Glass Menagerie".

I rarely say this...but this is rather sad.

" I love him for his courage and willingness to help. He'd run faster than anyone in the world to catch me when I fall."

Courage? what would imaginary guy be afraid of, bullets go right through him?
Screams to me of unhealthy and I pity any guy who unknowingly tries to date her. Because they will be in her mind competeing vs imaginary superman. And it's bretty insulting to lose to someone who doesn't exist.

I think she should have a warning sign if she dates a real person. It doesn't have to be specific. " My therapist has me on meds" or "I've been in a relationship with a guy since I was 10"
Should be enough of a warning.
I also feel many guys should wear such signs. Well in some ways they do, gossip/reputation. But imaginary bfs don't gossip.

The therapist might be imaginary too. There are no pills that get rid of Imaginary friends. That was from that Rick Mayall movie... Drop Dea... Waitaminute.. This isn't even a real letter. This is a Drop Dead Fred fanfic.

Therapist Expert Here.

I've been to many and most blow. But I can understand why, it's not necessarily that they view you as a paycheck but they feel that telling you what you should really do is not productive (yes.....I know it sounds stupid). Also they do not like being judgmental. I got alot of flak from therapists because I was "too judgmental"

Amy has an amazing quote on judging people from her friend Cathy Seipp.

So basically therapists like being gental, not telling you what you should do for fear you will hate them/not trust them and also they dont like to judge. I know alot of therapists that help people cope with staying in abusive relationships.

P.S. My current therapist told me: "Look I'm not going to fuck around with you. I dont care how it makes you feel. This is what you should do"

"So basically therapists like being gental"

Sorry had genitals on my mind. I meant GENTLE.

It takes many tries before you find the right therapist. And the right therapist tends to offend alot of people (she offended my mom which was great).

This doesn't sound to me like a psychological disorder as much as a spiritual disorder. It's going to be terribly hard for the LW to deal with it. She needs to have the courage to give up on her fantasy man and will probably need to grieve for his loss in much the same way that people grieve for the loss of a flesh-and-blood loved one. What I would suggest is that she focus on that act of courage and make the courage a point of inspiration that will sustain her through that challenge.

If she can fantasize about an imaginary man, she can fantasize that he boned her imaginary sister, and dump him.

She needs to see the movie "Lars and the Real Girl"