I'm getting so annoyed at this always happening that I'm tempted to say to the next guy, "What makes you think I want to have a conversation with you?"

Women want and expect men to be the initiators, so men initiate. They do things like trying to strike up a conversation with a woman at an organic grocery's salad bar.

Wow. What a bitch. How sad: Men find you attractive and hit on you. Life is hard.

There are nice ways to shut people down.

Meanwhile, in drought stricken Africa...

Enjoy it while it lasts, sweetie. It won't be long before your attitude starts showing on your face and you won't have to worry about unwanted attention.

Gotta learn to deflect. "I tend to use kale for chips. Well, it was nice talking to you" said in a FINAL tone and then get what you wanted and leave for the next aisle, don't linger.

They also aren't necessarily hitting on you. I sometimes talk to folks at the grocery store out of boredom.

Two words: Chewing Tobacco

Wear headphones, or one of those bluetooth headphone sets. When someone tries talking to you, look up and give them a distracted nod and smile, then go back to what you were doing.

There's nothing wrong with avoiding conversation, it's only wrong to be nasty to people who don't deserve it.

I agree with Shannon. You don't have to love being approached (although it's true you should appreciate the compliment that it is, that people are attracted to you), but you also don't have to be mean to people unnecessarily. If someone's pushy and ignores your boundary, then maybe. But give them a chance to respond to your response, and make your response appropriate.

How dare these lowly dregs attempt to speak to this Princess.

Don't sweat it LW, once they know your personality, they won't want to talk to you anymore.

Women want and expect men to be the initiators, so men initiate. They do things like trying to strike up a conversation with a woman at an organic grocery's salad bar.

I agree with JD. I say be polite, but use your tone and body language to indicate you're not interested in talking -- the same things you do on an airplane when you'd prefer not to talk to your neighbor. If they don't get the hint (and start acting like they're entitled to your time), you can be a bit more blunt.

There's a guy who stakes out the Whole Foods near my office. Stands near the cookies and talks to women, using techniques that he clearly learned from pick-up books. It's super annoying sometimes, but he's generally nice and polite, so there's no reason for me to be anything but nice and polite back. I grab my cookie tell him to "have a good day" and act like I'm in a hurry to get back to work.

I don't know if it's the case here, but it's been my experience that when most women say "I'm sick of guys hitting on me at ," what they really mean is "I'm sick of guys WHO ARE NOT HOT hitting on me at ."

Lamont is right.

Same to everyone else.

The day will come when it will stop happening, then she'll be moaning about how men don't see her inner beauty and how its all their fault for not wanting her anymore.

Not realizing she spent her best years driving away everyone that did.

There are practical reasons to go for women at a grocery store though.

1. If its early, they weren't getting hammered the night before
2. The contents of their cart tell you a lot about them, condoms, they put out, raw materials, they can cook, bacon, they're automatically awesome, soap and shampoo etc, they take care of themselves, and so on and so forth.
3. At an organic local only place, values in common at least somewhat.
And so it goes.

To bad it doesn't say much about her personality, if they could riddle that out right away, no doubt they'd not bother her at all.

I don't know if it's the case here, but it's been my experience that when most women say "I'm sick of guys hitting on me at ," what they really mean is "I'm sick of guys WHO ARE NOT HOT hitting on me at.

I think there's something to that. There's a drawback to what each sex does. Because men are the initiators, they have to deal with rejection. Because women don't initiate, they have to deal with unwanted attention from men they aren't interested in/attracted to.

Lamont, did you take your name from the alias of The Shadow, or from the band that took their name from the alias? (I ask because I'm from the city -- actually cities -- where the band is from, and they were a favorite of mine.)

The only thing women hate worse than being seen as sex objects is NOT being seen as sex objects.

Poor little princess, having to speak to those below her. What do you suppose it's like for her husband? I'll wager she's none too happy in her own relationship and that she'll be singing a different tune when her husband starts pounding twenty-somethings because they're nicer to him.

Just tell them, "Sorry, hun, I'm married to the government." Judging from the election results, that's the correct answer.

I've made a couple of friends from random conversation starters grocery stores and gotten some good recipes. So far no dates but then again I wouldn't necessarily interpret the examples the LW gave as being hit on. So perhaps I'm missing signals of interest...
If she's really not comfortable, she could maybe ask an employee to walk her out to her car. Or there are good samaritans out there. Once a guy about twice my age approached me and said, "Hey, how's it goin?" and leered rather creepily while I was innocently browsing in the spice aisle. I froze for a second unsure how to respond when a polished looking woman winked at me then swooped in and started talking to me about different brands of cinnamon. The man moved on and I got an awesome recipe for pumpkin bread. So she could hope for kindness from strangers or the head phones idea someone mentioned is a good call.

This is a funny question. We read constantly that bars/clubs are supposedly lousy places to meet potential dates (despite all sorts of evidence to the contrary). Instead, we're supposed to try to meet people at community college, ballroom dance lessons, or the grocery store. I guess that's out now, too, if it was really ever a possibility.

I personally can't fathom even entering an organic grocery store, never mind hitting on any of the pompous, Prius-driving gray-skinned vegans who shop there, but I suppose beta males have to take what they can get.

Incidentally, Lily, not every guy who speaks to a woman in the baking aisle is a potential rapist. But I guess I can see how you'd confuse "hey, how's it going" with "I want to anally rape you while pouring sugar in your gas tank."

wow I really wish I had this problem.... really wish this was my problem.
i was always taught if you look mad or a bit stand offish or bitchy people will stay away, maybe the LW is THAT HOT!
from what she writes it seems like men are just making small conversation, being nice.

Maybe she is just not a people person....

@MonicaP: I know, right?

Personally I think she should just display that inner frown/scowl to the outside and then she probably will solve her own problem.

@ mikeinreallife - I was kind of making fun of myself in relaying that story. But its hard to always get that across via text. Anway yes, I think my alarm bells were going off unnecessarily and that is probably what is happening with the LW. I think women in our society are taught to be vigilant when we are by ourselves and it leads to interpreting innocent small-talk as a threat or being "hit on" when the poor guy might just be naturally extroverted.

For me the story had a happy ending because that nice lady took me under her wing and I got a good recipe out of the whole thing. I also learned that people in small towns like to chat at the grocery store and it doesn't really mean anything more than that.

I don't the LW is necessarily a mean person. She might be just shy and not get much enjoyment from small-talk from strangers. I was that way for a long time until the incident related above.

Look, you don't have to be shy, mean, or a BITCH to not like being talked to constantly by strangers. Or men whose end game is to ask you out. I sympathize with her 100%. It does grate after a while. There's nothing wrong with talking to people, but it is annoying having to get in conversation-and-rejection mode every time you go to the grocery store for food you need to live. If she was making serious eye contact that's one thing, but she's obviously not. Judging by the tone of her letter she's probably making a serious effort to DODGE eye contact. Not fun.

This isn't the biggest problem, sure, but give her a break.

To the rude commenters: if you're jealous of her getting hit on, maybe you want to find love and you think it's easier for this attractive girl? It's not.

Acctually M, its far easier to trap a meal that walks strait up to you and offers itself up.

She might have to wade thru them, but her search for love is made far easier by the fact that she doesnt have to seek guys out

"Look, you don't have to be shy, mean, or a BITCH to not like being talked to constantly by strangers"

M, we're not calling her a bitch because she doesn't like strangers talking to her. We're calling her a bitch because she says things like this (that indicate she is self-centered and regards these men as worthless less-than-human specks of dirt): '"(Didn't know, don't care.) I'm tempted to say to the next guy, "What makes you think I want to have a conversation with you?"' ... decent human beings don't say things like that.

My my my, such a lot of hate for the LW, non?

Let's give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she is approached by fellows who are less than "less-than-desirable." Odious personal habits. Off-putting demeanor. General creepiness. You know, the things that don't always come across in a letter.

LW, you have many options besides finding a new eatery (which is always a very serviceable option when said salad bar has become the unofficial town pickup joint).

The earbuds, faux wedding ring, and bluetooth headset are all good ideas.

Consider having your meal cartoned as a "to go" order.

Bring reading material (I'm told this is what women in the UK who don't want to be picked up while in a pub do).

Spread out (fake) work material and look busy while you eat.

Whip out your phone (even a busted one will do) and pretend to talk to your sweetheart (real or not) while you eat.

And if all else fails...

When a man approaches, start picking your nose. Escalate to farting and belching if you have rounds in their respective chambers, if it comes to it.

Good luck.

Actually, I seem to get approached in the grocery store most when I'm at my least attractive - no makeup and dressed in sweats. Some are kids who obviously see a Mom and have questions, but some are from well-dressed older men who attempt to flirt even when I answer their question and move away. I'm 61 and overweight, and my face shows my age. I'm married and do nothing to encourage them, but some follow me and continue to try to engage me in conversation. This sometimes happens when I wear makeup, jeans and a scrub top, but not as often as when I look bad. I think it's wierd.

Another thing to keep in mind: many are ASSUMING the LW is a stuck-up, gorgeous she-dog who sasses any male who's less than a 9.5.

She never said she was attractive. Heck, at her best she could look like Aunt Bea on a bad day, for all we know.

Likewise she didn't say she told these men off...only that she was TEMPTED to. Haven't we all been *tempted* to be rude at one point?

Maybe she's had a long day dealing with the needs of others (like a teacher, day care provider, or nurse, etc.) and would just like some "alone-time" to decompress.

Let's lighten up, huh? Some of us are saying more about ourselves than about the LW.

Don't guys know that health food stores are where stuck-up feminists hang out? Seriously, whip him, beat him, tell him how to vote, these guys are pretty desperate to go there for a date, and definitely cruising for an ego bruising.