Take Amy's word, LW, and spare yourself a ton of grief. "What might have been" is not as good as "what I've got now". The grass isn't always greener, ya dig?

I can't for the life of me see any rational reason to go back to this girl. I'm guessing the sex must have been good? Still, I'm sure most of us have been there :/ ... as they say, love is blind, it's also stupid. I'll bet money that the previous girl would create a lot more drama and pain.

You find a woman who is 'kind, understanding and stable', you hold on to her! Maybe one needs to start getting a bit older to appreciate that.

Crazy chick sex, no matter how good it may be, is not worth scuttling a real relationship

...and the crazies always seem more fun in bed...

In my experience, they are more fun in bed. And that's fine for a while but it's hard to put up with the craziness (and/or bitchiness) for a long time.

I'm guessing that the physical/sexual side of things isn't that great for this guy with his new "kind, understanding, and more stable" woman, so that's why he's tempted by Mme. J'accuse.

"I'm tempted to go back to her"

Fool.

One of the many things I've gotten from reading Amy is this; people show you who they are all the time. In so many ways. This woman has shown you she is, to use the medical term, a nutcase. Why, oh why, would you want her in your life? You think she's changed? Well, she might have. And I might might win the lottery in a couple of days, but I'm not gonna spend a million on christmas gifts on that chance.

For the love of god (or for own good, which actually has a pretty good chance of existing) DON'T GO BACK. I did, once...one of the most painful mistakes I ever did. It's twenty years ago and doesn't sting anymore, but it took a long time. A very long time. Don't be an idiot.

"... I'm tempted to go back to her, but I don't want to ruin things with this new girl I'm seeing who seems kind, understanding, and more stable."

Kind, understanding girlfriend versus nutcase. What to do? What to do? You know, from the outside, this doesn't seem like that hard of a question.

But here's another angle: Even if kind, understanding, stable girlfriend weren't in the picture, would there be a good reason to go back to the first one? You get enough aggravation in life without asking for it. I don't know why you'd want to sign up for more deliberately.

First, ask yourself what you want, then go get it.

It's unlikely you can keep both simultaneously, but you could try. If you're into that sort of thing.

You could go for crazy and wait for crash and burn time. Everyone I knew who lived fast and died young is dead, but it might be worth it to you. The ride is fun, the crash not so much.

I've done both, and kind, understanding and stable is rare. Funny and cute don't hurt either.

There is the possibility that the correct answer is none of the above.

Save yourself and everyone else a lot of grief and figure out what you want.

Why, oh why, would you want her in your life?

Jesper, I don't think he wants her in his life. What I think he wants is to be in her body.

Never discount the powerful allure of a hot woman. I'm not saying that he should go back to her. I'm just saying that, if she's hot (and his new girl is not), I understand why he's tempted.

Two really big red flags here:

1) This girl is clearly unstable and has no problem throwing around dangerous accusations. What if next time instead of voicing her allegations to you she decides to tell a mutual friend? Your coworkers? The police? You could find yourself in serious trouble, especially if there is evidence of the physical abuse that could just as easily be blamed on you instead of her brother.

2) She's also got a violent, unstable brother who apparently has some serious issues with your relationship. What if he reads her texts again and this time decides to come after you with a baseball bat, or a switchblade, or a shotgun?

This isn't a normal, garden-variety dysfunctional relationship; it's a relationship that has a good probability you of ending up in jail or a body bag. For the love of god stay the hell away.

Dude, do them both.

3D - oh, how I understand that feeling. A hot woman and great sex can still drive me kinda nuts and I'm 40. But when the hot girl is a basket case, the price is just way too high. Some women are just so thrilling to be around, so wild and exciting, but some of them will screw you and not in the good way. I totally get how it works, I just know how bad it can get and it's not worth it.

Whatever you decide, please make sure your new (or soon-to-be-ex) girl's identify or contact info is not made available to your crazy ex. I haven't seen a guy in more than two-weeks and his ex is STILL harassing me via any means possible. I no longer answer unidentified numbers (I can't block every number she uses until she actually uses it), I no longer accept FB friend requests without thorough research, and I am considering shutting down the email account she knows of. I have no idea what I'll do if she discovers where I work. In this instance, I know the guy did not give her my info. But keep it in mind in case she decides to target new / soon-to-be-ex girl.

Meloni: Have you considered a restraining order? It might not stop her, but it can give you some ammo.

MonicaP: I have thought about a protection order, but a downside occurred to me. She would need to be notified of where I work and live. I don't think she knows either place yet. Since a protection order is only as effective as the person's willingness to obey it, and since she has made it clear multiple times that she does not respect boundaries, I'm not sure if that is wise (every time I've told her not to contact me, she has gotten angrier and nastier and more threatening).

I did call Crime Check and file a report a few weeks ago, but that doesn't solve anything either.

Telling her to not contact me hasn't been effective, so I've been ignoring her. She still emails (although not for a couple of days now) and she managed to get in one more screaming telephone call from a number I didn't know was her, but maybe she will get bored, or maybe her ex will find a new girl for her to target.

I guess I'm stuck in "wait and see" mode. As long as we don't run into each other face to face, it's an emotional drain and nuisance rather than a physical threat. I have no idea if I'm making the right choice or not. I've spent way too much energy on this situation and my brain cells are kind of frazzled.

Sorry, I wasn't trying to spew my personal life all over the column thread. I was just trying to briefly explain why I'm not sure what the best action is in response to your recommendation. Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, don't get involved, but first screw her hard and long in all three holes. Get your fun while you can.

This guy seriously needs to ask himself if he's got a thing for drama. No stable person would even consider asking what he's acting.